Affliction's Sons
by Stella Andrea
Summary: There's been an outbreak on New Vulcan: Vulcan men of all ages are going through Pon Farr years earlier than expected. Kirk/Spock, complete, slash
1. Chapter 1

The prequel to this story is _Boldun_ and can be found on my profile.

* * *

**_"Affliction's sons are brothers in distress; A brother to relieve, how exquisite the bliss!" -Robert Burns_**

**Chapter One**

The deaths of hundreds of Starfleet members and billions of Vulcan citizens occurred on the same day, but the anniversaries of those deaths took place ninety-one days apart. It was only logical; the Terran year and the Vulcan year were not the same length. That was why, one Terran year after the day so many lives were lost, Sarek found himself on Earth.

He was still the Vulcan ambassador to Earth, and as such, he was required to be at the Starfleet ceremony to remember the fallen. He would have come even without an explicit invitation though. Spock was receiving an award, and if Sarek had learned nothing from the death of Vulcan, it was that family was more important than anything. So many people had lost their entire families. Sarek had lost his wife, but he still had his son. Sarek didn't always understand the boy, but he was proud of Spock, regardless of whether he showed it or even acknowledged it to himself.

Spock sat across the stage. Outwardly, he appeared as stoic as any Vulcan, but Sarek knew his son. His slightly clenched hands and tight lips betrayed his nervousness. It amused Sarek slightly when Captain James Kirk leaned over and whispered something in Spock's ear that made the boy relax. Spock was quite compatible with his captain, for reasons Sarek did not understand, but Sarek was grateful that Spock had someone to calm him—as well as infuriate him, depending on what the situation required.

His son felt as deeply as a Vulcan, but he had the control of a Human. It had taken Sarek a long time to recognize this. Now he felt he understood Spock a little more, and he was all the prouder of him for it. He also knew now that Spock would never be able to be fully Vulcan, and Sarek would no longer take him to task for that. He only wished he had been able to reach this understanding before Amanda died. His wife would have approved of his change in judgment.

Admiral Komack's speech was winding down. The moment Sarek had been waiting for was imminent. When Komack announced him, he was prepared. He stood, plaque in one hand and medal in the other, and made his way to the dais. "Thank you for your introduction, Admiral Komack." Komack nodded and excused himself. Sarek then turned to the audience before him.

There sat hundreds of individuals who had lost friends, coworkers, and family members in the desperate response to Vulcan's distress call. Sarek knew the emotions they were feeling; he felt them every time he thought of Amanda.

Closing his eyes for a mere moment, he forced himself to regain control.

He opened his eyes and looked out at the crowd. "I am here today on behalf of New Vulcan. One year ago, hundreds died in an attempt to save my planet. Though the planet could not be saved, their efforts were not in vain. In the short amount of time in which the ships held off the _Narada_, Vulcan was able to launch hundreds of shuttlecrafts and starships away from the planet. Nearly eleven thousand Vulcans escaped. Thanks to the efforts of your peers, my species is now able to reform and rebuild on New Vulcan. On behalf of all of New Vulcan, I am here today to present two awards.

"The first is in honor of every person who fought that day. We regret that their deaths were required to save our lives." Sarek paused for a moment to allow everyone to remember the fallen. "I present this plaque in gratitude."

Admiral Komack stepped forward to receive the plaque and then retook his seat.

"The other award is for one man. This man took great personal risks to save the very core of Vulcan." Sarek turned to the side. His son was looking at Captain Kirk as if waiting for Kirk's name to be called. Spock was too humble for a Vulcan. Suppression of pride was not supposed to induce humility. Humility was illogical; one should always acknowledge one's accomplishments. Sarek might understand his son a little better, but he would never get past the urge to shake him when he was being extraordinarily Human. That was perhaps the reason he wanted his son to be more Vulcan; it was Spock's tendency toward feelings that sparked Sarek's own emotions.

"Spock of Vulcan, I present this award to you for saving the Vulcan High Council and preserving Vulcan culture for future generations." Spock's eyebrows rose slightly, shock evident in his stiff movements as he stood and made his way across the stage. When Spock stopped in front of him, Sarek removed the medal from its box and pinned it on Spock's jacket. "New Vulcan thanks you." He nodded at Spock, and Spock inclined his head in return.

His section of the ceremony over, Sarek stepped away from the dais and allowed Komack to reclaim it. He paused before returning to his seat. Spock paused as well, looking at him questioningly. Before Sarek could change his mind, he spoke. "Your mother would be proud." He left his own pride unspoken, unable to admit to the emotion even for his son, but Spock seemed to recognize what he could not say.

"Thank you, Father."

They both turned and moved to their seats. The rest of the ceremony proceeded without any problems. Sarek was pleased, though not surprised, when Spock and Kirk were called up to receive medals from Starfleet. Spock had saved the essence of Vulcan, but he had also helped save Earth. It was only logical that Starfleet would choose to commend him.

After the ceremony, Sarek attended a smaller reception. He passed on his condolences to those who had lost people in the battle and accepted condolences on behalf of New Vulcan. The people who had known Amanda also mentioned her, but they were thankfully very few. Sarek had fought for three seasons to regain his control over his emotions, but he still battled his grief.

Most of New Vulcan was battling intense grief. There was much that needed to happen to secure the race and very few people to do it. No Vulcan had time to grieve. In slightly less than a season, the Vulcan people would face the anniversary of the loss of their homeworld. On that day, everything would stop. Everyone would take time to remember. Everyone would grieve.

And then they would move on.

* * *

Jim smiled as yet another person congratulated him on his award. "Thank you!" The lady nodded and walked away and Jim's smile fell. "Why are all these people congratulating me?" he complained to Spock.

Spock was not sure if Jim was being facetious, but he replied anyway. "I believe it is because you won an award, Captain."

Jim sighed. "Jim, Spock, call me Jim."

Spock shook his head. "We are at a Starfleet event. I am willing to acquiesce to your wishes in private, but to call you by name in public would be unseemly."

"You know I don't care about looking 'unseemly'. Heck, you could call me Jim on the bridge and I wouldn't give a damn." Jim laughed then. "I know you'd hate it though, so I won't ask you to."

Jim knew Spock too well; he would indeed be uncomfortable referring to him as Jim in a command situation. It was odd that his captain so easily intuited his moods. Even Nyota rarely picked up on the few emotions he allowed himself to feel. Spock felt that he understood Jim quite well in return, but Jim's emotions usually showed on his face, making it easy.

Though, Spock was also able to understand Jim when he did hide his emotions. At the moment, Jim was angry. Though he had smiled for most of the evening, Spock could tell from the clenched fists and tight posture that his captain was upset.

"Really though. Yeah, the award's nice and all, and I'm glad we managed to save Earth and the Federation, but that's not what today was about. They ought to be thinking about all the people who died, not me." Jim scowled. "Plus, most of them are ignoring you. What the fuck's up with that? You got the same award I did! In fact, you got two awards, and no one's even talking to you."

Spock had noticed the same thing. "I believe it is because they _are_ remembering those who died. They died responding to Vulcan's distress call. It is only natural that they would see me, a Vulcan, as the cause of their deaths."

Jim's mouth fell open, but he remained speechless for a few moments. When he did speak, his voice was louder and angrier than Spock expected. "What the hell? That's so wrong. _Nero_ was the one that killed them. Vulcan did nothing, and you saved millions!"

"As I have told you before, Captain, Humans allow their emotions to affect their logic." Spock was usually somewhat entertained by this occurrence, but the snubbing he had faced that evening was not at all amusing.

Jim slung an arm around Spock's shoulder. "Well, they can shove their illogic up their—"

"Captain!"

Jim rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, I won't say it, but you can't stop me from thinking it."

Spock shrugged Jim's arm off his shoulder. "The reception is almost over," Spock observed. He was prepared to leave as soon as the clock ticked past the assigned hour.

Jim snagged Spock's sleeve and tugged him towards the door. "Let's go then. You've been snubbed by enough people for tonight."

"It is against regulations for commanding officers to leave a Starfleet event prior to the conclusion of the event." Spock didn't try to stop Jim from pulling him along though. He had the strength to stop Jim in his tracks, but if Jim chose to drag him off, Spock would have to obey. A command from a higher rank officer overrode nearly every regulation, after all.

Jim kept walking. They passed through the stately double doors of the gathering hall, down the long corridor of the Command Center, and out the revolving door at the front of the building. Jim didn't stop once he was outside the building. His grip slipped from Spock's sleeve and he grabbed Spock's hand instead, but he kept walking.

Jim walked all the way across the Starfleet Academy campus and out into the city. Neither of them spoke as they went. The silence was comfortable. Through the connection of their hands, Spock could feel the faint buzz of Jim's surface emotions.

The foremost emotions were anger and frustration. Under that was a scattering of sadness. Overlying all of it was lust. Spock knew the lust was not because of him. Lust was simply a part of Jim's emotional make-up.

It made Spock feel slightly uncomfortable, but not enough to let go of Jim's hand. His relationship with Uhura had ended months before, and to be perfectly blunt, Spock missed the sex more than he missed her. They were still friends, and Spock was grateful to her for helping him through a difficult time, but they shared little besides their knowledge of linguistics. It was a perfectly fine basis for a friendship but it was an unsteady base upon which to build a romantic relationship. Spock had been incredibly grateful when Uhura confessed that she wished to end the relationship.

When Jim finally came to a halt, it was something of a surprise to Spock. He had been more lost in his thoughts than normal. He took in the bar they were standing in front of. The outdated neon signs in the grungy windows told him all that he wished to know. "I would prefer to patronize a different establishment." Truthfully, he did not care for alcohol and would prefer to do something else with his free time, but Jim seemed to relish drinking as often as he could.

Jim squeezed his hand. "Come on, Spock! Live a little!" He released Spock's hand and pushed open the old-fashioned wooden door.

Spock followed him into the bar and was surprised to find it mostly clean inside. The atmosphere was not that of a dirty, old building but of a well-maintained historical reproduction. How intriguing.

Jim led the way to a booth near the back. "Well, did I surprise you?" He grinned as he slid into his seat.

Spock nodded slightly and took his own seat. "I was not expecting this type of atmosphere."

"Isn't it great?" Jim lounged back in his seat and waved at a server. The server motioned back that she come take their orders in a few minutes. "I love this place," Jim sighed. "It's downright homey."

It wasn't quite the description Spock would have chosen, but the bar was comfortable. "How did you discover it?"

Jim's countenance dimmed. "A boyfriend I had at the Academy, Gary Mitchell, brought me here on a date. Even after we broke up, I'd come back here on my own or with friends."

"You seem distressed. Was the breakup not your decision?"

"Oh, no, the breakup was mutual." Jim peered across the room towards the server. "Gary was on the _Farragut_ last year."

No crewmembers of the _Farragut_ survived. "I am sorry."

Jim shrugged. "Don't be. He always wanted a heroic death. Going down in the line of fire suited him; better that than some meaningless death."

The server appeared at their side. Jim ordered a Twilight Fizzer. Spock asked for water with lemon. He liked the addition of the citrus fruit; it made a simple glass of water an indulgence and left him feeling less out of place when the humans around him were drinking fancy beverages.

Jim moved onto small talk then, telling Spock gossip he could care less about. Yes, yes, Uhura was dating Scotty—Uhura had already told Spock—and Chekov and McCoy were totally hot for each other—Spock had guessed that weeks ago. Jim was put out the Spock had known the gossip. He proceeded to pout into his drink.

Spock tugged the drink from Jim's hands. "It is not healthy to imbibe in alcohol in order to forget your feelings."

"Says the guy who meditates his emotions away," Jim muttered.

Spock glared at him.

Jim threw his hands up in the air. "Alright, fine, you win. I'll stop drowning my sorrows. You gotta give me something to burn off all this emotion though or I'm gonna go punch some snotty admirals."

And Jim would, just to protect Spock's pride. It was somewhat endearing but mostly exasperating. Spock moved their drinks to the side and slid his credit chip into the machine on the table to deduct the credits for Jim's drink and a larger-than-necessary tip for the server since his water hadn't required any credits. They would not be drinking any more that night.

Spock returned his credit chip to his pocket. "What do you normally do to rid yourself of your excess emotions?"

Jim smirked. "I fight. Or I get drunk. Or I have sex. Or some combination of the three."

Spock did not wish to deal with a drunken Jim, and a fight between them would be unfair. Spock was far stronger than Jim, as well as faster. That left sex. Considering it made Spock's palms tingle a little; he was not adverse to the idea. It would certainly take care of his longing for sex.

Spock made up his mind. "We should return to the ship."

Jim pouted again. "You won't even let me pick up someone?"

"There is no need to 'pick someone up'." Spock let his eyebrow rise, knowing that him using slang and facial emotions at the same time would amuse Jim. "I am available."

Jim's pout morphed into a grin. "Really? You?"

Spock shrugged one shoulder. "Since I ended my relationship with Uhura, I have not found another bed partner. I enjoy sex and miss it. Engaging in copulation would solve problems for both of us."

Jim practically leapt out of his seat. "Hot damn. If I'd known you did casual sex, I'd have suggested it months ago." He grabbed Spock's hand and pulled him out of the booth.

Gone were the anger, frustration, and sadness that had filled Jim earlier. All that was left was the lust. It washed over Spock, making him shiver. When he spoke, his voice was huskier than he expected. "I would have accepted."

Spock had enjoyed casual sex with friends before, but Jim was far more attractive and closer to Spock than any of his previous casual partners had been. He was sure their joining would be… fascinating.

Jim headed for the door at a faster than normal pace. "We need to get back to the ship now, or I'm going to jump you in an alley."

It was a quick trip through the campus to the transporters. On board the ship, only a ghost crew had been left behind to keep the ship running prior to the beginning of their next mission in two days. Most people had chosen to take lodgings on the planet for the ceremony and reception. Jim, of course, refused to sleep anywhere but the ship.

They greeted the ensign manning the transporters and then Jim kept pulling Spock in the direction of their bedrooms. If the full crew complement had been onboard, Spock would have made Jim release him lest someone see them acting unseemly, but as it was, the only person they encountered was the transporter ensign.

At the entrance to Jim's room, they stopped. Jim reached out for the key pad, but his hand hovered over the buttons. "My room, or yours?" His eyes glittered with suppressed laughter.

Spock refrained from rolling his eyes and reached out to key in Jim's code. "I believe yours will be sufficient."

"You're not supposed to know that," Jim protested as the door slid open.

Spock stepped into the room, tugging Jim along by their still connected hands. "And yet you have never bothered to disguise the code when entering it." He stopped and turned to face Jim.

Jim laughed. "You caught me. All this time I've been hoping you would use it to sneak in here and molest me."

Spock stepped forward. He wrapped his free hand around the back of Jim's neck. "Indeed?" He tugged and Jim moved towards him. Spock changed his grip to tilt Jim's head slightly. "Then I suppose I should fulfill your wish." He kissed Jim.

The lust he had felt from Jim before doubled. Jim moaned and tugged his hand from Spock's, instead wrapping his arms around Spock's neck. The kiss deepened and Jim's hands slid down Spock's back and under his dress uniform's jacket. Jim whimpered as his hands came in contact with Spock's undershirt. "Off," Jim murmured against Spock's lips.

They pulled back from the kiss long enough to strip off their jackets and shirts. Spock attempted to place his clothing neatly on a chair, but Jim was too impatient for that. He swept the clothes from Spock's hands and yanked him back into a kiss. Removing their shoes and pants was accomplished without halting the kiss.

Jim walked backwards to the unmade bed, dragging Spock behind him. Jim's knees hit the back of the bed and he sat down abruptly, breaking them apart.

Jim chuckled. "Oops?"

Spock leaned down and kissed the corner of Jim's laughing mouth. "Take advantage of the moment to finish undressing."

They slipped off their socks and underwear, and fell into each other. Spock allowed the passion of the moment to overwhelm him, reveling in the feel of Jim's emotions running through his skin.

When it was all over, they lay beside each other in the bed. Spock spent a few more moments soaking up Jim's afterglow through the points where their bodies touched, and then he sat up.

Jim sat up too. "Hey, where are you going?"

"It is late. I must return to my bedroom now and sleep so we can be up early tomorrow." Spock made to climb out of the bed, but Jim grabbed his wrist and tugged him back down.

"Don't go. You'll ruin my afterglow." Jim pulled on Spock until he lay back down. Jim rolled over, keeping hold of Spock's wrist and wrapping Spock's arm around his waist. He scooted backwards a bit until they were spooned together.

This was supposed to be casual. Spock was not romantically interested in Jim. He found Jim attractive and he had definitely enjoyed the sex, but he only thought of Jim as a very close friend. Tentatively, Spock let himself feel all of Jim's emotions, searching underneath the surface emotions. He felt lust, of course, and some remnants of the earlier anger, as well as a deep feeling of contentment and friendship. There were no emotions that declared Jim held anything more than a strong affection for Spock. He relaxed against Jim.

Jim's elbow suddenly prodded him in the stomach. "Now that you're done freaking out about whether I secretly love you, can you grab the covers? You're warmer than I am, but you're not that hot."

Spock would never understand how Jim always knew what he was thinking. He acquiesced to Jim's request, grabbing the covers at the foot of the bed and pulling them over both of them. Jim kept his room warmer than most Humans, but Spock was thankful for the extra warmth of the blankets and Jim. It was difficult to maintain his higher-than-Human body temperate when he was sleeping, though his bodily control as a Vulcan allowed him to moderate his temperature when awake.

Jim rolled over enough to press a kiss to Spock's lips. "Stop thinking and go to sleep. We do have to be up early after all." He moved back into his earlier spot. Then he picked up Spock's hand from his stomach and twined his fingers together with Spock's.

Spock closed his eyes and prepared to sleep. Vulcans were truly tactile beings, though their touch telepathy forced them to avoid contact. Spock enjoyed touching people, and he was glad that he was comfortable with Jim's emotions and able to shield against them enough for them to sleep together. Jim squeezed Spock's hand, tugging him out of his thoughts.

"I will sleep," Spock sighed, knowing Jim would not leave him alone until he did. Jim squeezed his hand once more, and then they both fell asleep.

* * *

Sarek had just returned to his room for the evening when an incoming message appeared on his personal computer from New Vulcan. The message timestamp showed it was in the early afternoon for the sender, but it was nearly 2300 hours on Earth and Sarek was exhausted. No logical being would send him a communication so late in the evening unless it was urgent, so he had to conclude there was some kind of emergency occurring that needed his input.

He opened the communication. His mother appeared on the screen. "Sarek."

Sarek nodded. "Mother. May I ask why you are contacting me?"

His mother's face tightened, her lips pursing and her eyebrows drawing down. "You have not been home for two weeks. A situation has developed in your absence."

If his mother was showing emotion, the situation was indeed dire. "Please elucidate."

Her gaze was sharp through the computer screen. "Men are experiencing Pon Farr earlier than expected. Three hundred and twenty-four men have experienced Pon Farr in the past two weeks. One hundred and seventy-eight more are showing signs that they will soon enter it. The men have ranged in age from seventeen to one-hundred and ninety-three. The number of women available to bond is rapidly decreasing." Her gaze flickered away from the screen. "I have consented to taking a new bondmate."

His mother had refused a partner from the time his father died twenty years past. The shortage of available partners was serious. With only slightly more than eleven thousand Vulcans on the planet and half of them adult men and only one-third of them adult women, soon every available woman would be bonded. His mind raced through the calculations. At seventeen, some of the men were undergoing Pon Farr more than ten years early. Even if the bonding age for young women was lowered to the corresponding seventeen, there were still not enough available mates.

"There is no way to find a suitable bond mate for every male on the planet if this continues."

His mother nodded. "Indeed, and we do not know what is causing the acceleration of the Pon Farr cycle, or who is at risk. You must return to the planet."

"I cannot. I still have diplomatic duties to attend to." There was much planning to be done prior to the Vulcan memorial service. "I can research the problem on Earth. Please send all available data to me."

"You must come home, Sarek." His mother looked away again. "You may enter the cycle soon yourself."

All of Sarek rebelled at the idea. Entering Pon Farr would mean taking a bondmate, a wife. It was far too soon for that. Amanda had not yet been dead a year! "I cannot return."

His mother's gaze was sharp as steel. "Do not let your emotions impede you."

"I am not experiencing Pon Farr. I have duties to attend to. It is logical for me to remain on Earth."

"I, T'Pau, head of the house of Surak, order you to return to New Vulcan." His mother's posture stiffened. "Do not put yourself at risk, my son."

His duties could mostly be completed on New Vulcan. He could indeed be at risk of entering Pon Farr. Regardless of his personal feelings, there was no logical reason for him to remain on Earth. "Yes, Mother. I will return."

"I await your arrival." His mother held up her hand in salute. "Peace and long life."

Sarek returned the gesture. "Live long and prosper." He ended the connection.

There was much planning to be done. He would have to request transportation from Starfleet or locate a private vessel going near New Vulcan in the next few days, which would be unlikely. Starfleet would request a reason for his sudden return to New Vulcan, and he could not tell them the whole truth. Vulcans did not speak of Pon Farr to out worlders. He would also have to try to contact the rogue Vulcan communities around the galaxy and see if any of them would be willing to send women to New Vulcan to bond with the men undergoing Pon Farr. If none were willing, he would have to locate a secondary source of women. Romulans, as vulcanoids, would be a potential source and would limit the amount of genetic loss in the population, but since Nero, most Vulcans had become wary of Romulans, almost to the point of hatred, though few would admit to the emotion.

Humans would be the next likely source of bondmates. The genetic disparity could be dealt with in future generations, with selective bonding weeding out the Human genes. In that case, Sarek would have to inform Starfleet and thus all of the Federation about Pon Farr. No, Romulus would be a much better source. Perhaps he could entreat Romulan women to move to New Vulcan with promises of jobs. They could call it a peace-keeping arrangement. They would have to employ Romulan men too, of course, to keep them from becoming suspicious, but the primary purpose would be to find bondmates for Vulcan men.

Unless, of course, they could find a way to halt the onset of Pon Farr. In that case, unbonded men could be sent off planet to find bondmates of their own choosing, as Sarek had done with Amanda.

Thinking of Amanda made Sarek think of Spock. He would have to message Spock about what was occurring on New Vulcan. Though it was unknown whether Spock, as a hybrid, would experience Pon Farr, it would be prudent to let him know what was occurring.

Sarek stood and began to prepare for bed. It was too late to consider all of the possibilities as he could do nothing about them at that hour. It would be more prudent to sleep and wake early to begin planning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Spock woke early, but he had barely finished getting dressed when his communicator beeped with an incoming comm call. Jim was still asleep, so Spock went to his own room to take the call. He took a seat at his desk and turned on the communication system.

He was surprised when his father's face appeared on the screen. "Greetings, Father."

"Spock." His father tilted his head slightly to the left. "You look unkempt."

The urge to fix his hair was automatic. Spock's hands rose in his lap, but he did not let them move above the desk. He would not feel badly about something he had little control over. It was the interruption of his father's call that had led to his appearance, after all. "I am in the process of dressing." He would not apologize for that.

"Very well." His father's head returned to its normal, non-judgmental position. "I have been called back to New Vulcan. A situation has arisen that requires my attention."

Spock nodded.

"I request you also return," his father added.

There was no way Spock could go to New Vulcan. The _Enterprise_ was patrolling the Neutral Zone for the next month and Spock was in charge of a number of delicate science experiments that were to be completed while in the unoccupied area of space. "I must decline."

His father pursed his lips. "The request shall stand. The situation I must attend to may affect you as well. Large numbers of the remaining Vulcan males have undergone Pon Farr in the past two weeks. More are expected to experience it soon."

Spock felt his cheeks grow hotter. He wished his human traits did not include blushing. It was bad enough that he had to discuss such an embarrassing topic with his father. "It is not likely I will be affected," Spock said.

"We do not know that." His father looked as disapproving as he ever did, his lips tight and his eyebrows drawn together. "Your human blood may keep you from experiencing Pon Farr, but this strange epidemic may affect you even if you never again undergo Pon Farr."

No. Spock did not believe he would have to undergo Pon Farr. He was barely twenty-six. He was too young to have to deal with the urge to bond and mate. "I have not yet reached the age of maturity."

"Boys as young as sixteen have had Pon Farr. It is improbable that you will experience it before you reach thirty years of age, but not impossible." His father shook his head. "Do not risk yourself because you are stubborn."

Spock gritted his teeth. He was not stubborn. It would be logical to assume that he would not experience Pon Farr as he was still a child by Vulcan standards and he was also half-Human. He had too much to attend to on the _Enterprise_. It would be illogical to go to New Vulcan. "It is not stubbornness that keeps me here. I am in charge of many experiments and cannot leave them because of a mere possibility."

"As you wish. However, you should consider potential bondmates from among your crew. If you do develop it, be prepared to take a bondmate."

"There are no Vulcans among the crew." It would be illogical to take a non-Vulcan bondmate. His genetic code was already compromised. To add more non-Vulcan genes would destroy his family's genetic legacy.

His father closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. To a casual observer, it would have been a long blink, but Spock knew it was his father attempting to suppress emotion. "Spock, if you are alive, you can use a surrogate to perpetuate your Vulcan genes. If you are dead, your genes die with you."

Spock was uncertain of how to respond. His childhood betrothed, T'Pring, had died, leaving him free to take a bondmate of his choosing, but Spock had never considered that his father would support a non-Vulcan bondmate.

"I concede to your point, Father," Spock said at last. "I shall attempt to locate a future bondmate." It was logical to be prepared.

His father's tight expression loosened. "Very well. I leave for New Vulcan in two hours. Starfleet has arranged for the USS _Trellis_ to detour slightly from its route to Gentaly XI in order to transport me."

"May your journey be safe and brief."

His father's hand rose in salute. "Live long and prosper."

Spock raised his hand as well. "Live long and prosper."

The connection ended on his father's side and Spock's hand fell slowly to his lap. Had his father only called to pass on the news of the epidemic? There was no logical reason for Spock to know of the situation aside from the chance that he might personally experience it. His father's reasoning then had been based on keeping Spock safe from something he was unlikely to develop, a somewhat logical but mostly sentimental thought. Spock felt touched that his father had behaved in such a way.

He was still sitting in front of the computer when the door to his room opened. "Hey, Spock," Jim greeted. "I missed you this morning."

Spock rose, finally smoothing his hair down with his hands. "My father called. I did not wish to wake you, so I took the communication in here."

Jim grinned. "Good, I was afraid I'd chased you off with my snoring or something." He waved a hand at Spock, beckoning him forward. "Come on, time to go on our rounds."

Spock slipped out of the room, initiating the lock code as he left. Jim headed straight for the mess hall. It was not the first destination on their itinerary, but they had time before they had to begin surveying the ship. Eating breakfast together would be pleasant.

Jim waited until they were seated with their food to return to the subject of Spock's father. "So, what did your old man want?"

Jim was probably Spock's closest friend at this point. They had been brought together by the _Narada_ and the many missions that had followed and the dangerous stunts each of them had pulled to protect the other. Even with this background of friendship, Spock could not speak of Pon Farr to Jim. Out worlders were not to know of it.

"He merely wished to inform me that he would be returning to New Vulcan earlier than previously expected."

Jim nodded, his mouth full of both sausage and bacon. "That's cool. It's nice that you get along with him." He swallowed his mouthful and then devoured what was left of his meal.

In the past, Spock had seen the world so differently from his father that he had doubted they would ever be able to relate to one another. Since his mother's death, his father had seemed to come to terms with the fact that Spock was as Human as he was Vulcan. He wished it had not taken such an event for his father to realize it, but he was grateful that his father no longer judged him by purely Vulcan standards.

Spock prodded at a piece of banana with his fork. "It is nice."

Jim sighed. "I haven't talked to my mom since just after the _Narada_. I wonder how she's doing."

"You do not get along with your mother?" Spock ate the piece of banana. It was illogical to play with his food.

Jim shrugged. "I mean, we don't fight or anything, but I just don't know her that well. She married my stepdad right after I was born and then fled back to space. I usually only saw her two or three times a year when she had shore leave for a week or two."

Spock swallowed. "I did not realize you had a stepfather."

"Yeah, Frank's okay. He loved my mom, but she never did love him back, so he would get kinda testy sometimes and he'd take things out on me and my brother Sam." Jim drank his milk, gulping it down. "After he realized Mom would never want him, he got over it and he tried to do what he could for us. He wasn't such a bad guy, just unlucky in love." Jim reached out and stole Spock's last piece of fruit. "You ready to go now?"

"Since you have finished my meal for me, yes." Spock drank the last of his juice and then stood with Jim. They carried their trays to the receptacle and left. Outside of the mess hall, Jim led them down a rarely-used corridor.

"This corridor does not lead to Engineering, Captain."

Jim stopped abruptly, making an about-face. "We've got twenty minutes before we're due in Engineering." He quirked an eyebrow at Spock. "Wanna have a quickie?"

Perhaps engaging Jim in coitus had not been a well-thought-out idea. "We are in a public corridor."

Jim stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Spock's neck. "That only makes it hotter," he whispered in Spock's ear.

The brush of Jim's lips against the tip of Spock's ear made Spock shudder. "This is against protocol."

"If you won't tell, I won't tell." Jim kissed Spock deeply.

Disgusting. Jim tasted of meat and milk. Spock disengaged from the kiss.

Jim's whole countenance fell, his eyes falling to the floor and his shoulders drooping. "I guess last night was a one-time thing then."

Jim's confidence was larger than the _Enterprise_ herself, but his actual self-esteem would barely fill a salt shaker. "You ate animal products for breakfast. The taste is still in your mouth."

"Oh!" Jim straightened back up. "So, you're okay with this, us? With us doing this again sometime?"

Spock ran a reassuring hand down Jim's spine. "I found our physical congress very stimulating. I would not be adverse to repeating the occurrence." Time was running out at the moment though. "Unfortunately, we are due in Engineering in four minutes."

Jim nodded and pressed a quick kiss to Spock's lips. "Let's go then, but be prepared. It's been a year since I had a steady sex partner and I'm going to be jumping you whenever I get the chance."

Propositioning Jim had been a very bad idea, but Spock couldn't find it in him to regret it. "Engineering, Captain."

Jim licked his lips and smirked.

* * *

Sarek was welcomed onto the USS _Trellis_ by a smiling, perky woman.

"Hello! Welcome aboard, Ambassador Sarek." She stepped forward with her hand outstretched, then abruptly dropped it with a chuckle. "Sorry about that. I know Vulcans prefer not to touch Humans, but I'm not entirely sure how to greet you. I know this is used for goodbye, but does it work for hello too?" She fumbled with her hand for a minute, stretching it into a passable imitation of a salute. Her second and third fingers were just slightly too close to call it a perfect three-pronged salute.

Sarek returned the gesture. "The Vulcan salute is used as a greeting and a farewell. It is acceptable to combine the gesture with a Human greeting. The traditional 'Live long and prosper' can also serve as both greeting and farewell."

She nodded. "Thanks for explaining." Her hand fell to her side, then jumped back up to waist height with a flutter. "Oh, and then I didn't introduce myself! I'm Commander Winona Kirk, the chief science officer here on the _Trellis_."

Sarek let his own hand fall and remain at his side. "It is nice to meet you, Commander Kirk."

She let her hands flutter about, making random gestures as some humans seemed wont to do. "Oh, no, just call me Winona. The _Trellis_ might be a Starfleet ship, but we're mostly about research. Formalities have fallen by the wayside here."

Sarek was of the belief that regulations and 'formalities' existed for a purpose and that they should not be disregarded, but he did not speak his mind. He was merely a passenger onboard for a few hours. "Very well, Winona."

Winona spun on her heel, then glanced back over her shoulder. "We should be departing in about ten minutes. Would you like to tour the ship?"

Sarek moved to her side. "That would be acceptable."

They started walking. Winona moved quickly, taking short, fast steps. It seemed incredibly inefficient, especially when coupled with the vague flutters of her hands as she spoke. Sarek had rarely met a Human who was so very Human.

"Oh," Winona announced suddenly, "I nearly forgot. Did you know our sons work together?"

Who could her son be? Winona Kirk. The name echoed in Sarek's mind for a moment before landing on his recollections of the USS _Kelvin_. She was the woman who had given birth to Captain Kirk. "Spock has stated that your son is an efficient captain."

She laughed, the sound trilling high like small bells. It was not unpleasant. "That's high praise from Commander Spock, I take it."

"Indeed." His son rarely expressed such interest in a Human as he did in Kirk.

"Well, there's nothing to worry about then. Jimmy's just as happy with Spock's work. After the _Narada_, it seemed like every other word out of my boy's mouth was 'Spock'." She smiled the proud smile of a mother, one that Sarek had seen on Amanda's face many times, if in a slightly more subdued fashion.

Never again would he see Amanda smile like that. Never again would she have the chance to be proud of her son, who was growing into an admirable young man. Sarek looked away from Winona. She was so different from his Amanda, but they shared similarities. "It is good that Spock's commanding officer finds his work satisfactory." He took a deep breath and moved the conversation to another subject. "Would you mind explaining your ongoing experiments?"

"Of course!" Winona led him to the laboratories section of the ship, explaining the key points of each experiment and talking at a rapid pace. Sarek was not required to add anything to the conversation, for which he was grateful. He felt strangely off-balance, his emotions far closer to the surface than normal.

The ship trembled beneath his feet after thirteen minutes of the tour had passed, signaling that the warp core was engaging. Starfleet had estimated that the flight to New Vulcan would take six hours. Judging by the size of the ship and its apparent layout, a tour that involved explanation of the experiments they saw would take five point seven hours; most of the time Sarek would spend on the ship.

Indeed, after five point three hours they were nearing the bridge and the completion of the tour. It was at that point that the ship shuddered, tossing them into the corridor wall. Winona frowned, an expression her face did not seem to take often, judging by the soft wrinkles that formed by her mouth. "That shouldn't have happened," she announced. "I need to go to the bridge and see if everything is okay."

"Shall I remain here?"

"No, you can come with. I'm pretty sure you won't commandeer the ship." She laughed, her frown relaxing.

Winona led the way to the door to the bridge. It slid open, exposing a bridge in mayhem.

The captain of the ship was in control of the navigation console, a common occurrence on a small ship such as the _Trellis_. The situation was made uncommon by the fact that the console appeared to not be working. "Can anyone explain why we are experiencing a massive systems failure? _Anyone_?" the captain bellowed.

Winona scurried to a console, and an ensign from across the room jolted upright in his seat. "Captain, there's a hull breach on deck four, cause unknown. It's growing rapidly," the ensign said.

The captain began to pace. "Go to red alert. Can the problem be fixed?"

"Negative," Winona called out. "We have ten minutes till complete implosion."

"Lieutenant Dalby," a blonde woman perked up as the captain turned to her, "Order an immediate evacuation of all personnel to the nearest M-class planet." The lieutenant moved to complete the order and the captain spun to face the console. "I'll try to lay in a course that will keep the ship away from everything when it explodes."

Winona rushed to Sarek's side from her console. "We've got to go."

Sarek followed Winona out the door and down the corridor. He remembered where the shuttlebay was from his embarkation and knew that they had no time to waste. They raced down the hallway. Winona bypassed the turbolift, which was full of people already.

Winona shook her head. "We might have relaxed standards, but those people know the regs. The Jefferies tubes are the safest way to move about in an emergency." She halted before a door and it slid open. The room was a tube junction. Winona crawled into a vertical tube and Sarek followed. After climbing for thirteen meters, they entered another tube junction and exited the tube system.

Winona ran down a corridor. Sarek sped up to match her pace. "We're almost there," she called back to him.

Sarek did not waste his breath replying. They rounded a corner and burst through a door into the shuttlebay. Winona headed for the farthest of the three shuttlepod docks. It was cramped inside with four of the available seats already filled. Winona and Sarek took the last two and the pilot closed the pod. The pilot ran through a series of safety checks, and the shuttlepod dock sealed and began the depressurization process.

"Alright, guys," the pilot announced. "We'll be out of here in twenty seconds." She hit a button on her console. "Nilly to Shuttlepods One and Two, do you read?"

"Shuttlepod One here."

"Shuttlepod Two here."

Nilly nodded absentmindedly. "Shuttlepod Three is full and in decompression. We'll be launching in ten seconds."

"Shuttlepod One has one seat open. Awaiting further passengers."

"Shuttlepod Two has four seats open. Awaiting further passengers."

"Don't wait too long! Shuttlepod Three has achieved decompression and is launching. Nilly out." The other shuttlepods signed off and their shuttlepod dock's exterior door opened. Sarek could see space through the shuttlepods window. The buzz of the impulse drive activated, and their ship burst out of the pod dock.

"We're heading out at maximum impulse. Estimated time to arrival on Fellor III is ten minutes." Nilly laid in the course, then peered back over her shoulder at the passengers. "Anyone know how much longer the _Trellis_ has?"

"One minute, twenty-three seconds," Sarek responded promptly. The time had been ticking away in his head since the announcement of ten minutes till implosion had been made.

Nilly shook her head. "If they don't get out of there quick, they're not going to make it."

Sarek understood the shuttlepod pilots' dilemma. If they left too soon, they might have to leave behind crewmembers. If they left too late, they would be caught in the implosion.

The comm signal flickered on the dashboard. Nilly smacked it. "Lexington to Shuttlepods Two and Three."

"Two here."

"Three here," Nilly said.

"Shuttlepod One is full and in decompression. Thirty seconds to launch."

"Shuttlepod Two has four seats open. Still awaiting passengers."

Decompression took a minimum of thirty seconds. By Sarek's accounting, there were sixty-nine seconds left till the ship's implosion. If Shuttlepod Two did not begin decompression now, they would not survive.

Nilly had come to the same conclusion. "Ensign Travis, you need to get Shuttlepod Two into decompression now."

"Four seats, Lieutenant Nilly!"

"Better four seats than seven," Nilly replied.

A shout of "Captain!" came across the comm. "Shuttlepod Two is full and starting decompression!" followed seconds later.

"Shuttlepod One has achieved decompression and is launching. Lexington out."

"Nilly out."

"Travis out."

Nilly ended the connection and an explosion rocked the shuttlepod, twenty-seven seconds earlier than expected.

The Humans in the pod gasped as one. Nilly's hand reached out and hovered over the communication system. She tentatively turned it on. A crackle filled the cabin. They had lost communication. She turned the system back off. "Starting scans," Nilly murmured. After a few seconds' silence, she spoke again. "No lifesigns within scanning range."

The Humans bowed their heads. None of them could meet the others' eyes.

Nilly turned off the scanners and focused on the navigation panel. "ETA on Fellor III is now eight minutes," she whispered.

Sarek respected the Humans' grief, remaining silent as they all mourned. Next to Sarek, Winona sat up straight. "Well, at least I'm not having a baby this time," she said.

Her statement shocked laughs out of three of the Humans. "Shit, Winona, I'm sorry," one man said.

Winona smiled tremulously. "We've got to look at the bright side of things, right?"

For a human, she was remarkably logical in the face of tragedy. Sarek laid a hand on her arm and squeezed gently, something that had often soothed Amanda.

Winona looked up at him. "Thank you."

Sarek nodded and withdrew his hand.

The rest of the trip to Fellor III consisted of passing out survival kits to everyone. The shuttlepod was too small to serve as shelter, and they would have to find a way to survive on the planet.

A thin man with grey hair conveyed the information available about Fellor III to the group. "It's an M-class planet with a rainforest covering the majority of it. It has no tilt to its axis, so there are no seasons and the poles are only moderately cooler than the rest of the planet. It would, in fact, be beneficial to land as far north or south of the planet's equator as possible, as the average temperature on the planet's surface is three hundred and ten degrees—" the man glanced at Winona and then away "—I mean, thirty-seven degrees Celsius."

Winona flashed a smile at the man. "Robert, you can say the word 'Kelvin'. I'm not made of glass, I won't break."

"Three hundred and ten degrees Kelvin," Robert said again. "Humidity averages 77%. Natural shelters are uncommon. Caves are sparse except along the continental coastlines. Large carnivorous animals roam the forests, but there are few ocean dwelling animals and no sentient creatures.

"We'll aim for a clearing near the ocean and the forest then." Nilly adjusted their course. "With any luck, we can find a cave. If not, we've always got the regulation tents to use."

Winona glanced at Sarek. "Does that sound okay to you, Ambassador?"

"I believe the plan will ensure our survival."

"You know, you could have just said yes," Winona teased. Amanda had often said the same thing.

Sarek turned his attention to the shuttlepod's viewscreen. His hands trembled in his lap, and he clasped them together to still the shaking. "Yes," he said softly. He could not think of Amanda at this time. He could not risk becoming emotionally compromised. They would be landing in minutes, and he would have to work with the Humans to survive.

His hands shook again, and he clasped them together harder.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

It was late in the evening and they had just finished their rounds of the ship when Jim 'jumped' Spock again. He chose to do so by dragging Spock to his room. Jim's bed was still unmade, but Jim pushed Spock into it and climbed on top of him.

Jim's hands fell to Spock's waist and started tugging at his shirt. "Take it off, take it off, I wanna feel you."

Spock helped pull the shirt over his head, then assisted Jim with removing his own shirt. "Your verbal skills decrease by an alarming thirty-seven point three percent when you are aroused, Captain." He was gambling on Jim's sexuality, assuming that he enjoyed a bit of 'kink' in the bedroom.

His gamble paid off. Jim whined and rubbed against Spock. "Shit!"

"My previous figure was incorrect." Spock ran a hand down Jim's bare back and Jim leaned into it like a cat. "Your verbal skills actually decrease by fourty-two point eight percent..." Jim thrust against Spock again, leading Spock to add a bit of punctuation to the sentence. "…Captain."

Jim whined, then stilled above him. Spock reached down to unbutton Jim's pants and was surprised to encounter a wet spot. He was illogically pleased to realize he had made Jim climax before he could properly undress.

Jim collapsed on Spock's chest. "Don't you dare smile, you smug bastard."

Spock reached up and ran his fingers through Jim's hair. "Vulcans do not smile, Captain."

Jim's hips stuttered. "Stop playing dirty!" He groaned and hid his sweat-dampened face in Spock's shoulder. "I'm gonna get a hard-on every time you say Captain now. If I jump you on the bridge and fuck you over your console in front of everyone, it's gonna be—" The image entered Spock's mind with a ferocity he could not control, buoyed by the ebbing waves of lust Jim was emanating. Spock ground up into Jim as minutely as possible, but Jim still caught it. "… that turns you on?"

Blushing was illogical. Spock wished yet again for the ability to suppress it. "I find the thought stimulating, but only the thought. Please do not attempt to act out the situation." He felt Jim might need the warning, as he had no compunctions about having sex in public places, judging by that morning's activities.

Jim grinned against Spock's skin. "Oh, then you don't want me to blow you in the middle of the mess hall?"

That was… another remarkably stimulating image. Spock moved against the solid bulk of Jim's body.

"And I'd better not go with you next time you have your physical. After all, if I jumped you in sickbay, we'd have to be very quiet and very fast if we wanted to get off before Bones caught us."

Spock thrust up one more time, his body on the very edge of climax…

And Jim's communicator dinged repeatedly.

Jim dragged himself off the bed with a sigh. "It's some kind of emergency. I've gotta take it."

Ten seconds. Spock just needed ten seconds. The caller would hold. "Jim. Please."

Jim shrugged on his shirt, then looked back at Spock with dilated pupils. The bright lights of the room made his eyes look even darker. "I've got you begging."

It was not begging. It was simply impolite to leave Spock at a crucial moment. "Jim."

Jim sighed and moved to his computer, turning the screen so Spock was out of view. "Sorry, Spock," Jim murmured. Then he connected the communication.

Spock sat up, but he didn't speak. He pulled on his shirt, willing his heart rate and erection to decrease. When Jim was finished with the call, they could resume their activities. He had no wish for whoever was on the other end of the call to realize Spock was in the room. The idea of exhibitionism was erotic, but Spock doubted he would find the actual act to be so pleasing.

Jim straightened up in his seat suddenly. "Admiral Pike! What can I do for you?"

Pike's voice through the computer was weary. "Your assignment is being changed. We need you to go on a rescue mission."

Jim leaned forward eagerly. "Of course, sir. What are our orders?"

"We got a message that a research vessel was about to implode today, and then we lost contact with them. We can only assume that the vessel did indeed implode, in which case it is unknown what caused it or if anyone survived. We need you to locate the remains of the vessel and see if you can figure out what happened and if there are any survivors." Pike's voice dipped lower. "You have the option to turn down the mission, if you want to. You are the nearest vessel capable of doing what will need to be done, but I can requisition the _Powell_ if necessary."

Jim frowned. "I'm sure we can handle it, sir."

"Jim, the vessel that exploded was the _Trellis_."

Jim gasped, and Spock was only barely able to halt his own sudden intake of air. "That's my mom's ship, Pike."

"I know. Commander Spock's father was on the ship as well."

Jim glanced up at Spock, but Spock looked away.

"That's why we're giving you the opportunity to pass up the mission," Pike said quietly.

Jim shook his head. "No way. It'll take two days for the _Powell_ to get there. If my mom and Spock's dad are alive, I can't let them sit out there for days without help. We'll take it."

"Very well. You are cleared to launch as soon as your staff is on board."

Jim groaned. "The official embarkation time isn't until seven-hundred hours tomorrow." He rubbed at his forehead. "It's still better than waiting for the _Powell_, I guess."

"They'll be fine, Jim. Your mother has a reputation as one of Starfleet's most resourceful scientists."

"Thanks, Admiral." Jim propped his elbow on his desk and rested his chin in his hand. "For everything."

"Of course. Get some sleep before you ship out tomorrow. Pike out."

Jim turned off the computer and let his head flop forward to rest on the desk. His voice was muffled when he spoke. "What do we do if they're dead?"

"We shall grieve and then proceed with our lives." It was the only thing they could do. Spock had done it before.

Jim lifted his head. "Oh, Spock, I forgot about your mother. I'm sorry."

Spock shrugged. "Worrying is illogical." If only he could convince himself of that. His stomach churned and all he could think of was what he would do if he lost both of his parents.

Jim stood and stripped off his clothes as he walked back to the bed. "You're probably not interested in sex anymore tonight, are you?"

Spock shook his head. "I will return to my room."

Jim moved in front of Spock and tugged Spock's shirt off. "Stay. You may not be worried, but I am, and I don't want to sleep alone."

Spock allowed himself to be manhandled out of his clothes and into the bed. This time Jim spooned himself around Spock, pressing one hand to Spock's heart.

"We'll find them, Spock." Jim pressed his forehead to Spock's shoulder. "We will."

* * *

The shuttlepod landed with no problems, and the seven passengers disembarked quickly. There were four men and three women all together, and Sarek was the only non-Human. The Humans quickly began to perspire, but the planet's warmth did not affect Sarek. The humidity did, however. It clogged his lungs, making it difficult to breathe.

Winona strapped her kit on her back. "Well, looks like we need to start looking for shelter."

Nilly struggled to fasten on her survival kit. She was a petite woman with no muscle mass. It would be difficult for her to carry the kit for long, but Sarek did not offer to carry some of the weight. If they were separated, it would not benefit her if she had less than she needed. Once she had fastened on the pack, she started walking. "We've got about twenty kilometers till we get to the shore. We'd better hurry so we can set up camp before sunset."

Considering the planetary rotation and their location, they had twelve hours till sunset. That should be ample time to traverse the woods and locate a cave to set up camp in. Sarek strapped on his own kit and followed the rest of the group into the forest.

The forest floor was damp. Rotting, dead leaves squished beneath Sarek's feet. It was a decidedly unpleasant feeling. He increased his speed until he was walking next to Winona. "Do you believe you can maintain emotional control?" he asked her quietly.

Winona glanced over at him. "You mean because of the crash?" Sarek nodded. "Well, no, not really, but it's not like I have a choice in the matter. One thing the _Kelvin_ taught me was that I have to keep living because life won't stop for me."

"That is logical."

Winona laughed. "And you do value logic above all else, don't you?" She waved a hand at him in dismissal. "Nevermind, that was rhetorical."

Sarek considered the question anyway. "Logic is of prime importance, but above logic, I value my sons."

"Sons?" Winona tilted her head to the side for a moment, emphasizing the question. "I mean, obviously you value your sons, but I thought Spock was an only child, from the way Jim was talking about you and him and your wife."

The rest of the group around them was talking loudly. Sarek's answer would not be overheard."Amanda Grayson was my second wife. My first wife and I had a son together. Our marriage was annulled when she became a priestess of Gol." He had not thought of T'Rea since he had confirmed her death. He felt few emotions towards her, aside from irritation that his son Sybok had been kept from him for years. Their marriage had been political and unemotional, and they probably would never have conceived Sybok if Sarek had not undergone Pon Farr.

"Where are they now?"

"T'Rea was killed in the destruction of Vulcan. Sybok had fled off planet prior to the destruction. I am not aware of his location, but he is alive." Sarek had tried to contact him, once, after Vulcan, but Sybok had responded with a request to 'leave him alone'. Sarek did not begrudge Sybok his distance. He had not been a good father to Sybok, but he cared for Sybok just as he did for Spock.

Winona rubbed the back of her neck. "Sorry for asking so many personal questions. Being nosy keeps me from thinking about… other things."

"You have not broken the bounds of propriety." If the questions had been too intimate, he would not have answered them.

There was a sudden crack in the forest to Sarek's left. He paused and turned towards the source of the noise.

"Ambassador? Did you hear something?" Winona stepped closer.

There was another crack, still to the left, but now also in front of Sarek's position. He scanned the woods for the source of the noise and saw a flash of black fur through the trees. "Get your phasers!" he commanded, drawing his own from the holster on his pack.

He had it drawn and aimed when a creature burst through the trees and into the group. The Humans in front of Sarek had not responded to his warning quickly enough and were defenseless. Sarek shot at the creature, but the beam missed and hit a tree. The animal reared up onto the back four of its eight legs and roared. Sarek aimed again, but a Human passed into the shot and he couldn't fire.

The beast's piercing screech brought Sarek to his knees, bursting his left eardrum. He aimed again, found a clear target, and fired another shot, this time skimming the creature's side. It turned its three eyes on him and lashed out with a clawed hand, knocking aside the female Human whose name Sarek had not learned. The claws were sharp, approximately twenty point two centimeters in length, and deadly. The swipe decapitated the Human.

A shot came over Sarek's shoulder. Winona had her phaser out and was firing. She hit the creature in one of its eyes and it screamed in pain, thrashing its head about. Sarek ignored the pain in his ear and took aim, hitting the creature in another of its eyes.

Eyesight diminished, the animal turned around in circles, smashing into the Humans. One of them had finally gotten his phaser out, and he shot at the creature's last eye. The creature evaded the shot and reached out, slashing its claws through the man's chest. He fell to the ground.

The beast turned on Winona and Sarek then, lumbering towards them. On its back legs, it was nearly twice Sarek's height. From his kneeling position, it seemed monstrous. He took a deep breath and then regretted it when air whistled through his broken eardrum. He focused his phaser again, shooting repeatedly at the creature. Now that it was clear of the Humans, he was free to shoot at will and he did, aiming for every possible vulnerable part of the animal's body. He took out the last eye and then Winona's shots began to rain down on the creature from behind Sarek. She shot a hole in the creature's belly. It stumbled, falling onto its forelegs, then roared and reared back up.

Sarek took aim and shot it in the stomach seven times. Winona gave it another round of six shots in the abdomen. It took another step forward then stopped. Its mouth gaped open in a silent scream. Then it toppled over, landing on top of the dead woman's body.

Winona scrambled past the creature to where the injured man was laying. "Thomas, are you okay?"

The man opened his mouth and bubbles of red blood foamed out.

Winona yanked off her kit. "Shit, don't try to talk. You must have punctured your lungs. Hold on, I'll see what I've got in my medkit."

Nilly, Robert, and the other male Human stared at the scene before them in shock. Sarek rose to his feet. He nearly stumbled. The injury to his ear had thrown off his balance. Moving carefully, he made his way to Winona's side, since none of the humans seemed able to help her.

Winona was still rifling through her pack for the medkit. "Who would have thought we'd run into a creepy alien bear here? I mean, honestly, of all the things to run into, a giant three-eyed, eight-legged bear was not something I ever thought I'd see." She began ripping things from the pack. "A bear!"

Sarek could not comment, as he did not know what a bear was, so instead he examined the man. His eyes were closed. He was breathing shallowly, and every breath sounded as if it was being sucked into his chest through the wounds. His lungs had at least partially collapsed, and he was already suffering from acute blood loss. "He is dying. We cannot perform the surgery that will save him."

Winona's shoulders shook. "I know, I know! Thomas, I'm sorry." She finally pulled the medkit out and fumbled it open. "Nothing. God damn fucking nothing!"

Thomas gasped for breath, his body contorting as he tried to draw air into his deflating lungs.

Winona grabbed a hypospray. "All I can do is relieve the pain." She depressed the hypospray into Thomas's neck. He took another shallow breath, and then his face relaxed. Winona ran a hand across his cheek. "Rest now. Just sleep." She moved her hand in front of his mouth and held it there.

For long seconds, no one spoke. Winona lowered her hand. "He's not breathing anymore."

Sarek felt for a pulse at the man's wrist. "His heart has ceased to beat."

There was another crack in the forest. Sarek sprang to his feet with his phaser in hand. He wobbled a bit, his balance still off, and wasn't ready when the animal came roaring out of the forest. It stopped at its comrade's body and screamed. Sarek steadied himself and aimed, shooting through two of its eyes. When it opened its mouth to scream again, he shot through its mouth into the back of its head. It collapsed. Remembering how many shots it had taken to bring down the first creature, Sarek aimed at the creature's head and shot the phaser over and over again, until only bloody bits of the head were left.

Sarek lowered his phaser and took a slow breath. "We need to move on. There might be more of them." His pulse was pounding in his throat. The blood was rushing through his body at twice its normal speed. Calming himself, he returned the weapon to its holster and began to pack up Winona's kit.

Nilly let out a shocked laugh. "Oh, my God. That just happened? That really just happened?" She began laughing hysterically.

Winona strode over to her and grabbed her shoulders. "Don't you dare fall apart on us!"

Nilly's laughter only get louder. "We're all going to die. I piloted here only to kill us all. Bears! Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"

"Stop it!" Winona shook Nilly's shoulders. "Stop it right now!"

Nilly gasped loudly and her whole body shook. "They're dead, Winona. Lara's dead, Thomas's dead, the bears are dead."

"And if you let yourself fall apart, you'll end up dead too," Winona said sharply.

Nilly's eyes widened, but her body ceased shaking. "I'm sorry." She started to cry, but the tears didn't seem hysterical.

Winona released her. "Good. We need to take what we can from Thomas's and Lara's packs and divide it among ours."

Sarek saw her glance at the creatures' carcasses and the disembodied Human head. Winona's face was pale, even though her voice was strong. "I will locate Lara's pack," he said, operating under the assumption that Lara was the dead woman's name.

"Thank you," Winona whispered. She moved back to Thomas's side, and Sarek was faced with the problem of moving the first animal's body to get to the woman's pack.

He could see her left leg sticking out from underneath one side of the creature's chest. Sarek moved to that side. The creature was somewhat cylindrical in shape, with four legs near its thorax and four near its abdomen. The chest and abdomen were quite accessible. Sarek placed one hand under the animal's chest. The fur was coarse; it would provide a good handhold. He placed his other hand under the creature's stomach, grabbed the fur as if it were a handle, and began to push the creature. He struggled a little under the weight. He would never have been able to lift the animal, but by planting his feet in the ground and using the animal's own weight as leverage, he was able to roll it off the woman.

Winona had already gotten Thomas's pack off and was arranging him to appear as if he were just sleeping. Sarek glanced at Lara. Her body was still intact, aside from her head. He slipped off her pack, then retrieved her head from the bushes. Human sensibilities being what they were, he tore off a strip of her shirt and used it to bind the head to the body. Then he gathered her up in his arms and carried her to where Thomas's body lay. He laid her on the ground and settled her limbs into a more natural pose.

Winona grabbed his wrist as he stepped away and squeezed it. There were tears in her eyes, but her voice was restrained when she said, "Thank you."

The other three Humans had begun to unpack Lara's emergency kit while Sarek moved her body, so Sarek knelt at Winona's side and began to divvy out the supplies from the other kit between them. He put the heavier tools in his pack and gave her the extra food. He kept the extra sleeping bag but left the tent behind. The tent was small in size, but they all already had tents and an extra one would do nothing but weigh them down. At least the sleeping bag could provide extra heat if the nights were cold.

The Humans had finished sorting out the other kit and were just standing in one place. Protocol and regulations existed for a reason, and that reason was so that people could work efficiently in an emergency. Sarek had known nothing good could come of Winona's statement that the _Trellis_ had let formalities "fall by the wayside". He wondered if these humans had ever served on a true Starfleet-run vessel.

Winona had, and it showed. She finished stowing the extra items and then took control of the situation. "Alright, let's move on. Sunset will be here in…"

"Ten point three hours," Sarek supplied.

She nodded at him. "Right, ten point three hours. We need to get camp set up as soon as possible. Who knows what kind of creatures come out at night on this planet?" She started walking. Sarek took a position next to her. His ear ached a bit, but he would treat it when they had found a place to camp.

The other Humans fell into step behind them, and Sarek kept his phaser in hand. If he had to rely on them, he would die. Winona still had her phaser out too. He would keep her safe, as he would the other Humans, but he knew she would protect him in return.

* * *

Jim stood next to Spock. Both of them combed the sensors for any indication that they had located the wreckage of the _Trellis_. They found nothing.

"Spock, it's been a day and a half. They're probably dead by now, if they weren't before." Jim turned away from the sensors display.

Spock took Jim's arm and tugged him back. "They sent out the signal that implosion was imminent. That indicates that they had enough time to reach the ship's shuttlepods and escape."

Jim leaned his head on Spock's shoulder. "Everyone on the ship was crosstrained in piloting, navigation, and engineering since there were only twenty of them onboard, but my mom worked on the ship. She said people would argue over who had to take shifts on the bridge each week. They were scientists; they wanted to be in their labs. Do you really think any of them had the skills to escape that crash?"

"Your mother did." Spock knew of Winona. Everyone who went through Starfleet Academy studied the _Kelvin_. He knew that she had been an engineer who transferred into science after her first child, aiming to become an on-planet officer so she could stay with her children. She had been a unique case because she was one of the first pregnant women allowed to stay on-board a starship into her third trimester. Jim's birth and her connection to George Kirk had made her a well-known woman after the event.

Spock's father also had survival skills that would keep them safe. He was well trained in all areas of science and could pilot and navigate adeptly. Winona Kirk was intelligent, Sarek was intelligent, and both of them would survive, regardless of the incompetence of the _Trellis's_ crew.

Jim moved his head so he could press his lips to Spock's shoulder. "Shift's almost over. Let's grab some food and rest, and then we can come back."

"May we rest together?"

"Yes, please." Jim's lips moved to Spock's neck, and through the contact Spock could feel a worry that mirrored his own. Together, they would find their parents.

Spock separated from Jim when their relief entered the room. They walked to Jim's room in silence, both ready to grab something from Jim's food synthesizer and fall into bed. Once they entered Jim's room, and the door closed behind them, Spock took Jim's hand again. The physical contact soothed him, and he maintained it while they ordered the food, ate, and crawled into bed.

* * *

Winona was a very attractive woman. The curve of her breasts and her hips indicated she could bear and care for children easily. The slight amounts of excess fat tissue on her body were enough to protect her from starvation without limiting her health. Her light brown hair was silky and had few grey hairs, a sign of good health and slow aging. Her intelligence, health, and strong-will would make her an excellent mate.

Sarek withdrew from his thoughts with a physical flinch. What was he thinking? No, he knew what he was thinking. He was experiencing Pon Farr. His blood thrummed through his body, urging him to take a mate. The petite Nilly was unattractive, with tiny hips and breasts, no body fat, and an unstable mind. She would not make a good mate. Sarek also weighed the Human males, Robert and Mark, for compatibility, but he was not interested in men, no matter what physical or mental attributes they might have. He wanted only Winona.

But he wouldn't take her! She was Human. She was not Amanda.

They would be rescued soon. It had only been two days since the crash. They would be rescued soon, and then Sarek would go to Vulcan and take one of the Vulcan women for a mate—steal a mate from another Vulcan, his brain whispered, but he ignored it. He would not betray Amanda's memory with another Human.

Winona looked up at him suddenly, and their eyes connected over the fire. The cave was cold and wet, and the fire burned bright, reflecting in Winona's eyes. He could feel the fire in his blood, burning him alive.

Two days. Rescue. He would not take her.

He climbed to his feet and moved to the mouth of the cave. "I will gather more firewood." The wood was always wet in the rainforest. He would gather more so it could dry out in the cave. Yes, that was logical. He still had his logic.

Winona stood as well. "I'll come with."

They would be alone, in the forest, with no one to see. He could seduce her. She was Human, bound to her emotions. He could lay her out on a bed of leaves, take her hard and fast, leave her shuddering beneath him as he reached out with his mind—"No!"

She took a step back. "Sarek?"

His name, from her lips… Amanda! He could not betray Amanda. "I will go on my own. Nilly must not be left alone." Robert and Mark were searching for a drier cave. Nilly had not recovered from the hysterical episode and often broke into fits. Winona had to stay. She had to.

Sarek tried to escape, but Winona's voice held him back. "Stay safe," she called.

He nodded and fled for safety as fast as his feet could carry him. The cave was far more dangerous than the forest could ever be.

* * *

Thirty-four hours passed from the time of the implosion until the _Enterprise_ crew found the wreckage of the _Trellis_. It was caught in the orbit of Fellor I and had been hidden from the sensors by the sun's radiation until they got close enough to the planet to bring up visuals. The Fellor system was where New Vulcan was located, and Spock was relieved to think that his father was probably somewhere within it.

The ship had disintegrated into small chunks in the implosion, and it took them another three hours of searching visually to locate the _Trellis's_ flight data recorder. Spock and Jim were both in the transporter room when it was beamed aboard. They attached it to the nearest computer terminal and began pulling data from its record banks.

"The _Trellis_ data ends at seventeen hundred hours and twenty-four minutes," Jim said. "Prior to that, a hull breach opened on deck four and spread to three more decks. It ripped the ship apart."

Spock took the data back a little farther. "Two shuttlepods made it through decompression before the implosion."

Jim shook his head. "The second one was launched three seconds before the data ends. It would have been caught in the explosion." He smiled. "But the first one had about a minute's leeway. It should have been way out of the way by then!"

They had seen no signs of a shuttlepod in space, but it could have landed on a nearby planet. "We need to scan for the nearest M-class planet." Spock set the data to continue being pulled from the recorder, and then he and Jim headed for the bridge.

Jim stepped onto the bridge and took the captain's chair. Spock took over the science console from an ensign and pulled up the Federation's information about the Fellor system. "Captain, there are three M-class planets in the system: New Vulcan, Fellor III, and Fellor IV. New Vulcan is on the other side of the Fellor sun, but Fellor III and IV are within shuttlepod range."

"Start scanning for lifeforms on both planets, Mr. Spock." Jim spun his chair around to look at Spock. "We might just find our parents yet."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

At thirty-six hours post-landing, Sarek gave up. He could not fight Pon Farr on his own. In the past, he had always had a bondmate to draw away some of the blood fever. Now he was alone in his mind, and his mind did not like it.

It was the middle of the day, and everyone was in the camp. Sarek had hoped to sneak away in the night, but if he waited any longer, the plan would not work. To avoid suspicion, he would have to leave behind the supplies he had hoped to take. At least no one would find it odd that he was taking his phaser with him for protection. He supposed he could thank the dangerous "bears" for that.

He walked to the mouth of the cave, as if he were about to go gather more firewood or use the latrine they had dug in the dirt near the forest's edge. He made it out of the cave and halfway to the forest before Winona ran after him.

"Sarek, wait!"

Sarek closed his eyes. He would get rid of her, and then he would walk into the woods as far as his legs would carry him for as long as his logic remained. By the time his logic failed, he would be too far from the camp to return before the blood fever killed him. It was a good plan, a logical one.

Winona gave him a friendly smack on the shoulder as she reached his side. Even through his shirt, the contact burned. "Where are you going?"

He turned, and her face was right there. One touch and he could bond them. "I need to use the latrine."

Winona started walking towards the forest. "We can go together then. I promise I won't peek!"

"Winona. I would prefer privacy." So close. No one would see. He could take her here. "I am feeling unsettled and wish to meditate."

She stopped and looked back. "Sarek—" She had taken to calling him by name all the time instead of 'Ambassador,' as the other survivors referred him. How wrong his name sounded on the lips of a Human who was not Amanda, and yet how right. "—it's not safe. Please let me come with. You keep putting yourself at risk."

"I am Vulcan." There was no danger for Sarek, except the threat of burning alive from the fire inside.

Winona stomped back to him and grabbed both of his shoulders. The touch seared through him. "You know what? I'm tired of this Vulcan bullshit. My son is James T. Kirk. I know everything that happened on the bridge that day. Spock broke down. You can break too." Her voice softened. "I don't want you to break, but you've got to let me help. Something's stressing you out. Tell me about it."

"I am Vulcan." The sentence came out not as a statement, but as a plea for her to understand. He was Vulcan. He would not speak of Pon Farr to an out worlder.

Winona's hand came up and caressed his cheek. Through the touch he could feel worry, sadness, stress, care, and compassion. The gentle emotions slaked the fire in his blood, but it still smoldered. A finger moved closer to his mouth, sliding over the corner of his lips. Sarek closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

"Tell me, Sarek. You may be Vulcan, but I am Human. For Humans, pain shared is pain halved."

The hand slipped from his face, and the fire roared to life. "I am dying."

Winona gasped, and the hand returned. Sarek opened his eyes and locked gazes with Winona. "Why?" she whispered.

"Vulcan men pay a price for suppressing our emotions. We experience a drive to mate that, if not slaked, will kill us." He looked for disdain in Winona's eyes and found none. "I have no bondmate. I shall perish."

The emotions flowing through her changed: sadness to anger, compassion to empathy, worry to determination. "You dumbass." She rolled her eyes, breaking the connection between their gazes. "I can have sex with you if it's gonna save your life."

She would mate with him. He had consent. They could bond. Sarek forcibly stilled the hand that had begun rising to her face against his will. She didn't know what she was saying. "You are Human."

"And?" She pulled back, her hands slipping from him. The flames roared, but Sarek ignored them.

Telling her would be tantamount to saying he had emotions, no matter how hard he tried to suppress them. Not telling her would mean suffering alone. He had to speak. "Amanda was Human."

"Oh, Sarek." She pulled him into a hug, wrapping her arms around his neck. Sarek did not respond. He could not, or he would lose the tentative control he had.

"Amanda wouldn't want you to die for her memory," Winona murmured.

"How do you know?" She had never met Amanda. His wife had been a woman of high integrity. Surely she would not want him to belittle her memory by taking another Human bondmate.

Winona's hug tightened. "She was Human, and I know how Human women think. If she loved you, she would want the best for you, no matter what."

Sarek couldn't believe it was that easy. Winona simply didn't understand. "It is more than sex. It is a physical and mental bonding. It is a marriage."

"Will you die without it?"

There was more to it than that. "I will die in four days if the Pon Farr is not assuaged. If we are rescued in the next three days, I will be able to return to New Vulcan and bond with a Vulcan woman." If he had better control, he could meditate and soothe the flames, but living among Humans and with a Human bondmate for so long had destroyed many of his emotional controls.

Winona stepped back a little. Sarek tried to follow her forward, not wanting to lose their connection, but stopped himself. Winona's arms slipped from around his neck, but her hands slid down his arms and captured his hands, filling his brain with her emotions. "We can break the bond, right? You annulled your first marriage, you said."

A broken bond was so painful, so unnatural. His bond with Amanda had died with her. The pain had not been as strong, for death was a natural process that the mind understood. The artificial severing of his first bond had torn him apart inside. "It is painful, but it can be done. Once a new bond has been created and consummated, it must be allowed to remain for three months before it can be safely broken."

Winona bit her lip. "It would be logical to bond, in case we aren't saved for a while. We can break the bond after three months, once you are safe."

Logic. It _would_ be logical. A bond was traditionally a marriage, but it wasn't unbreakable. The bond between him and Winona could be a business arrangement. Amanda would not begrudge him his life. He pulled his hand from Winona's and slid his fingers into position on the meld points. "My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts." One slight push and he was in her mind.

Confusion. Anxiety. _What is happening?_

Calm, calm. _I am here. I will form the bond._

She relaxed and her mind blossomed open. He threaded through her memories, simultaneously sending his memories to her. For the bond to be stable, they had to know everything about each other.

She was married twice. The memories of her husband George were tinged with love and sadness. The memories of her husband Frank were full of bitterness and regret. Were they still married? No, she pulled forward a memory of signing their divorce papers. Irreconcilable differences. He loved her, but she didn't love him. He was George's friend, a marriage of convenience so he could have custody of her boys and watch them while she was in space. She didn't realize he loved her until she had already crushed the love and broken him.

Winona's whole mind seemed to sigh. What was in the past was in the past. They were building a future. Move on.

Sarek moved past the memories of her husbands. He explored the life she had led, the people she had met, the things she had done. He saw her boys grow up in fits and spurts, the scattered memories of the time she had spent on Earth. Sam ran away and married a girl, got a family. Jimmy ran away and joined Starfleet, got a ship. Got Spock. Spock gained Jim too. She drew his memories into their shared consciousness. Spock ran away and joined Starfleet, got a ship. Sybok ran away and joined a group of rebels, got emotion. All the boys were happy now. They were good/bad/adequate parents. It was okay.

At last, Sarek moved past the memories and into the depths of her mind. A ball of twine revealed itself as her mental center, the string wrapping in, around, and under, connecting everything in her life to everything else in her life. He reached into his own familiar mental center and found his pool of water, shallow and still but easily perturbed. He drew the water and the twine together, dipping the end of the twine into the pool so that the water would flow out of the pool, through the length of twine, and into the ball.

With the water, the blood fever flowed away from him. Pain shared was pain halved. Lust shared was lust halved. Lust shared was also lust multiplied, pulling them together, uniting them.

Sarek pulled back in the meld, until he could see only the surface of Winona's thoughts. Lust, affection, condolence, comfort. He slipped his other hand from her grasp. He slid the image of a Vulcan kiss into her mind and pressed his fingers to hers. The buzz of her emotions and thoughts rebounded through both of his hands now.

Winona pressed an image of a Human kiss back at him, one with tongues and open mouths. She leaned forward and captured his lips, opening them with her tongue. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and explored it scientifically, testing how different areas felt, whether his molars were dull and his canines sharp.

When Sarek's skin began to tingle, he thought it was merely their connection deepening. Then the atmosphere around them changed. The air was suddenly cooler and drier. Sarek slipped out of Winona's mind and broke both the kisses. He opened eyes he hadn't realized he had closed. It took him a moment to identify his surroundings as the transporter room on the _Enterprise_. Spock and Jim were staring at them.

Spock's eyes were wider than Sarek had ever seen them. Jim's mouth gaped open in shock.

_How are we supposed to explain this?_ Winona wondered through the bond.

_I will explain to Spock. You will explain to Jim._ His mind worked through the implications of their apparent rescue. _We no longer need to bond. I will retreat to a private room until we reach New Vulcan. A mind healer will remove the partial bond and I will take a Vulcan bondmate._

Anger and worry seared through the bond. _I don't know how this bond works, but I don't want to break it! I need you._ She seemed to fumble for words. _My blood burns for you._

How he wished to take her. The burn in his blood grew with each second, multiplied by her lust. But it was illogical.

Jim started to splutter. "Mom, what the hell? You just… you just kissed Spock's dad!"

Winona sighed audibly. "Have you got a private place to talk, Jimmy? I think this is going to take some explaining."

Jim's mouth opened and closed a few times before he got any words out. "I'll take you to conference room one. Spock, do you and your dad wanna come with…?"

Sarek shook his head. "I must speak to my son alone." He would explain the circumstances. He had not forgotten Amanda. He would break the bond.

_No, you fucking won't._

They would discuss breaking the bond, after they had spoken to their sons.

_Fine._

Spock pursed his lips. "Please follow us." He turned and stalked through the door. Jim walked after him.

Sarek followed. He had to explain, and perhaps if he had some distance from Winona, his blood would not burn so fiercely. Winona walked next to him, following their sons. She was close enough to touch him, but too far away to ease the fires. She never would ease the fires. Their bond was illogical.

_I've seen your mind, your memories. If you don't bond with me, you take a bondmate from another Vulcan. Isn't it more logical to keep me as a bondmate?_

She was correct. But why did she push for them to bond?

_We're kindred spirits, Sarek. We've both lost the ones we've loved. I want to help you._ Mental laughter pulsed through the bond. _Besides, your stupid bond has got me more turned on than I've ever been! I need release just as badly as you do._

Sarek did not look over at her. He was not embarrassed. It was illogical to be embarrassed. The need to mate was a biological drive.

_You just keep trying to convince yourself. Meanwhile, I'm gonna talk to Jimmy and see if I can't get this settled as quickly as possible so we can go have sex like horny teenagers._

Jim ushered Winona into one room, and Sarek followed Spock into a different one. The conference room was simple with a computer system on one wall and a table surrounded by chairs in the middle of it. The simplicity was comforting. Normal. Expected.

_You know, I have no gag reflex._

And that was… unexpected. Sarek did not understand the significance of the statement.

_You prudish Vulcans. Please tell me you know what oral sex is?_

Yes, Sarek understood the concept, but it was not something he wished to discuss with his son staring at him.

_Well, finish talking to him quickly then, and I'll show you exactly what it means to not have a gag reflex._ The lust that accompanied the words made it clear that it was supposed to be an innuendo.

The fires flared higher. Perhaps the bond was logical. Perhaps they would enjoy the experience, as he and Amanda often had.

_Perhaps you should stop thinking and start talking so we can get to fucking sooner._

Perhaps he would stop thinking.

* * *

Spock located the _Trellis's_ survivors on Fellor III after scanning for twenty minutes. There was an emergency signal beacon in the upper atmosphere. Spock traced it to a shuttlepod on one of the planets northern-most continents. Twenty-seven kilometers to the west of the shuttlepod he discovered four Human lifesigns and one Vulcan lifesign.

"Captain, I have located the survivors. There are four Humans and one Vulcan on Fellor III." Spock noted the location in the computer and stood. "Shall we proceed to the transporter room?"

Jim was already out of his seat and headed for the turbolift. "Let's go."

They sped down to the transporter, making a quick stop at the sickbay to grab Doctor McCoy. When they entered the transporter room, the ensign working the transporter jolted upright in her seat. "Sirs!" Her hands flew to the controls. "Orders?"

Spock moved to the console next to her. "We are rescuing the survivors of the _Trellis_. Total survivors numbers five: four Human and one Vulcan. The location is in the computer." Spock watched over her shoulder as she began working. Jim and McCoy took positions near the transporter.

She ran through some calculations. "Sir, I only see three lifesigns, all Human, at the location in the computer."

His father had been there just minutes before. "Beam up the three Humans and begin searching for the other two survivors."

"Yes, sir." She locked onto the three lifesigns and energized. Two men and a woman appeared on the transporter pad. They were all sitting, but the men sprung up when they realized what had happened.

"Welcome aboard the USS _Enterprise_," Jim said. "I am Captain James T. Kirk. Are you survivors of the _Trellis_?"

"Yes. I'm Robert Nelson, ensign." Nelson glanced back over his shoulder. "This is Nilly Velasquez, lieutenant, and Mark Williams, ensign." His forehead wrinkled. "Kirk? You said your name was Kirk?"

"Yes." Jim shifted his weight from one foot to another. "My mom, Winona Kirk, was on the _Trellis_."

Nelson nodded. "She was with us in the cave a few minutes ago, but Ambassador Sarek ran off and she chased after him. I don't know where they went."

Jim and Spock shared a glance. Their parents were alive.

McCoy stepped forward. "Well, we'll find them. Right now I want to get you three to sickbay. I noticed Lieutenant Velasquez isn't responding to stimuli. What caused this?"

Nelson turned and knelt next to Velasquez, coaxing her to a standing position. "We landed on the planet in a shuttlepod with seven survivors all together, but two of our crewmates were killed violently on the planet by this bear creature. She had a mental breakdown." Velasquez tottered forward on the pad, her steps uncertain.

McCoy held out a hand and took hold of Velasquez's arm, helping her step down from the transporter. "All right, let's get going then. Hopefully I can figure out how to help her." He glanced at Jim. "Send your parents when they get onboard, okay?"

Jim nodded and McCoy and the survivors left the room. Then the ensign manning the transporter let out a shout. "I've found the other two lifesigns!"

"Beam them up, Ensign," Jim commanded. He stepped closer to the transporter pad and Spock moved to stand beside him.

The transporter lit up, the beam solidifying slowly. Only one shape could be seen. Had the transporter only been able to lock onto one of them? Then the edges of the shape moved outwards, filling the space of two people. They were very close together. Was one of them injured?

The beam fully solidified and Spock realized his father was kissing Jim's mother, both the Human and the Vulcan way.

His father stiffened and pulled back, removing his hand from her face, and Spock realized that they had been melded. What had he been doing? What reason was there for him to be kissing her? Spock's mother hadn't even been dead a year!

Jim started to splutter. "Mom, what the hell? You just… you just kissed Spock's dad!"

Winona sighed and took a step towards her son. "Have you got a private place to talk, Jimmy? I think this is going to take some explaining."

Jim gaped at them. "I'll take you to conference room one." He glanced in Spock's direction. "Spock, do you and your dad wanna come with…?"

Sarek shook his head. "I must speak to my son alone."

Yes, Spock and his father most definitely needed to talk. "Please follow us," Spock said. He turned and headed through the door for the nearest conference rooms. Jim followed immediately after Spock, but their parents walked next to each other, a few steps behind them.

Arriving at the conference rooms, Jim took his mother into one room and Spock stepped inside a different one, knowing his father would follow. He turned and waited for the door to close behind his father. "Explain."

His father would not meet his gaze. "I have entered Pon Farr. We were uncertain as to when we would be rescued, so Winona agreed to bond. We would break the bond after our rescue."

"Then you will break it now?"

His father opened his mouth to speak then faltered, closing it again. Spock had never seen his father at a loss for words. It was logical that his father had chosen to bond rather than die. To not break the bond now would imply things that Spock did not want to consider. His father should not have feelings for someone besides his mother, not so soon after her death.

His father's stance stiffened. "It would be logical to keep the bond until I am stable. The number of Vulcan women available to bond is small, and I do not know how many more men will enter Pon Farr as I have. Also… Winona wishes to maintain the bond."

Jim's mother wanted to marry Spock's father, and there was a logical reason for it. "But what about Mother?"

"Your mother was Human." His father closed his eyes. "I do love her still, but she would not wish for my death." He sounded as though he was trying to convince himself.

Seeing his father struggle to maintain control was a shock. Even after his mother's death, Spock's father had remained in total control of his emotions. Now that he was faced with bonding with a woman who wasn't Spock's mother, he was falling apart. That, more than any grief his father could have shown, was proof that he had truly loved her.

"The bond is logical," Spock said, and it really was. "Mother would support your decision."

His father's eyes opened at last. "Do you support it?"

The bond would save his father's life. If he and Winona decided to break the bond afterwards, it would be their decision and Spock would support it. Spock could not see them breaking the bond though; the only time bonds were broken on Vulcan was when a Vulcan committed themselves to Gol or when a Vulcan's spouse died. If his father and Winona decided to keep the bond, it would have little to no effect on Spock. Winona would not replace his mother, and she might make his father… happy.

"I support the bond, regardless of whether you choose to break it or keep it." He would have to deal with his own emotions privately.

Sarek nodded. "Winona has informed me that Jim… your captain also supports the decision."

Spock had seen his parents talk through their bond before, but it was startling to realize that Winona now had that connection to his father, to the point that he was calling Jim by name. Once the bond was consummated, it would be even stronger. And if his father was deep enough into Pon Farr to bond, he would want to consummate the bond quickly. "I will arrange for rooms for you and Winona. The flight to New Vulcan should take approximately eight point three hours. I am certain you wish to… rest." Telling his father that he had permission to have sex with Jim's mother on Jim and Spock's ship was awkward.

His father turned to the door. "I would like to retire as soon as possible."

Learning that his father was eager to have sex with Jim's mother was even more awkward. Spock led his father to the guest quarters quickly and assigned him and Winona to rooms with an adjoining bathroom. He left after informing his father of how to contact him. Spock doubted he would hear from his father for at least a day. It would take time for the flames of Pon Farr to leave his body.

Spock headed for Jim's room. They would both need someone to confide in, and who better than their new parent's child?

Their new parent's child. Spock and Jim were going to be brothers. How would this affect _their_ relationship?

Spock irrationally felt like banging his forehead against a wall.

* * *

Sarek gave Winona the location of their rooms through the mental bond and listened in, with her permission, as she finished her conversation with Jim. He was busy worrying about whether his mom was going to be hurt by this, which amused Winona. It took her nine point three minutes more to convince Jim that she would be fine. Finally, she shocked him into ending the conversation with the pointed statement, "You know, Sarek's waiting for me to go have sex with him and he's getting a little impatient. Unless you want us to get it on in here when he comes to track me down, I need to get to our rooms."

Jim spluttered and Winona gave him a hug. "I love you, too. I'll see you in…"

_How long is this gonna take?_

Pon Farr normally lasted between twelve and twenty-four hours for Sarek.

"…I'll see you in a day, Jimmy." She released her son, chuckling mentally at the horrified disgust on his face, and headed for their rooms.

Sarek was waiting for her when she opened the door and stepped inside his room. He set the lock and pulled her to him, pressing his fingers to her face and delving into her mind. She welcomed him, opening up under his touch.

_Are you certain you wish to do this? A new bond cannot be broken—_

_For three months, I know, you said before. I can handle three months of this brain connection thing. It's actually kind of cool. Plus, I bet we can really freak Jim and Spock out by having silent conversations around them._

Sarek let his amusement travel through the meld. Winona was very different from Amanda, her mind less orderly, her thoughts chaotic, but it was attractive. Falling into the tangled web of twine that made up her mind was easy. He guided her into the pool of his mind, showing her how to follow her twine to him.

The flames engulfed them, and Winona whimpered. _God, take me now, please, please, please!_

Sarek left their minds touching, but he drew his hand away from her face so that he could run his hands down her sides. Winona giggled when his hands hit her stomach, but it turned into a moan when his fingers slipped lower.

_God, I haven't been this wet since I started menopause seven years ago._

Somehow, Sarek didn't think she meant to send him that thought. He settled his hands on her hips and pulled her into a kiss.

_Oops… oh well. As least you know that pregnancy isn't going to be a problem now! I haven't had a period in over six months._

Pregnancy. He hadn't even considered taking precautions for it. _The hormones caused by Pon Farr might affect you. Conception is nearly twelve times more likely during Pon Farr._

_Are you sure that's not just because of the day-long sex marathon?_ She smirked into the kiss and let her tongue dip deeper into his mouth. _And a whole day? Really?_

_Indeed._

_Oh, I'm gonna be sore._ Her mental laughter flooded between them again. _But it'll be worth it to see Jimmy's face when we finally come out._

_I believe it will be worth it for other reasons as well._ He sent a bit of his pleasure through the bond and her breath hitched.

_Oh, God, shut up and do that again!_

Sarek kissed her deeply. _It will be my pleasure._ He sent her the feelings that the kiss and the deepening bond were causing to build up inside of him. Their pleasure bounced back and forth between them, growing exponentially. Through the bond, Sarek could feel everything that Winona felt. As he shared his thoughts with her, Winona's pleasure skyrocketed, sending him into a tailspin. He had nearly forgotten how strong Human emotions were.

Bonding with Winona Kirk was logical… and very, very pleasurable. And they still had approximately twenty point five hours left until the Pon Farr was assuaged. They would be getting to know each other very well.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Jim looked a bit vacant when he entered his room. He blinked at Spock for a minute, then shook his head. "Our parents are having sex on our ship. I will never be able to enter that set of guest quarters again." He sunk down next to Spock on the bed. "Even worse, Bones accosted me in the hallway wanting to know why I hadn't sent our parents to get checked out. I had to explain that your father was dealing with a crazy mating urge with my mother—on my ship!"

"You do realize he is now also your father and she is now also my mother," Spock said quietly. "Bonding is equivalent to a marriage on Vulcan."

Jim slumped over until his head hit the pillows. "Really? I was over the stepdad thing by elementary school." He suddenly sat bolt upright and stared at Spock. "Wait a minute. If he's my dad, then you're my brother." Jim burst into laughter. "I totally had sex with my brother!"

Of course that was the first thing that would jump into Jim's mind. "As we have no genetic connections and were not raised together as children, there are no societal constructs that would deem us ineligible for an intimate relationship."

Jim smirked. "So you still want to have sex with me?"

Spock should have banged his head against the wall while he had the chance. "Yes, Jim, I would like to continue engaging in coitus with you."

Jim's smirk grew. "Good. So tell me more about this Pon Farr thing. Are you gonna go through it?"

"I assume I will not, as my sexual characteristics are more Human than Vulcan in origin."

Jim elbowed him in the side. "I was wondering why you looked so Human down there. Aside from the green skin, of course."

"Of course." Choosing to wait for Jim's return on his bed had been a bad idea. Jim's thoughts gravitated to sex far too quickly, even when the surroundings were more neutral. "I believe we should be discussing our parents' situation and not my sexual characteristics."

Jim's nose wrinkled. "Ugh. I don't even want to think about them. Mom made it sound like they'd be spending all day doing nothing but have sex."

"She is correct."

Jim stuck out his tongue and made gagging noises. "Ew! Geriatric sex is so gross!"

"My… our father is quite young. On a Human age scale, he's barely in his thirties." And Winona was only in her late forties, according to the data Spock had on her.

"That's even worse! That makes Mom a cougar!" Jim smacked his forehead with his hand repeatedly. "Stop putting horrible images in my brain. Now I can't get them out!"

"Jim. Focus. Consider how things will change if our parents remain bonded."

Jim lowered his hand. "Wait. Mom said they were gonna break it off once Sarek was over his 'issue'."

Spock looked up at the ceiling, contemplating it for a moment. "Bonds are difficult and painful to break, for both parties. A bond is typically not broken unless a spouse begins the process for obliterating their emotions completely or dies. Death naturally destroys the bond and it is not as painful. A forcefully broken bond causes terrible mental distress."

Jim punched his pillow. "Damn it, I asked my mother if she knew what she was getting into. She didn't say anything about it being painful." He pulled the pillow into his lap and proceeded to throttle it.

"You are operating under the assumption that they will break the bond." Spock tugged the pillow from Jim's grasp. "I do not believe they will. A bond unites two people in a way that little else will."

Jim tried to steal the pillow back, but Spock would not release it. "Fine, keep it then. And how do you know about the bond?"

"I was once bonded."

"What, really? You were married?"

"The preliminary bond is not quite a marriage, but it is more than a betrothal. I was bonded with my mate T'Pring when we were children." The bond had been amazing. To know another person so completely was awe-inspiring. They had not been in contact since the bonding though, and the bond had grown weak.

"Are you still married to her? Am I sleeping with my married brother?" Jim stole the pillow back before Spock could stop him.

Spock elbowed Jim in the side and he fell over laughing. "It is not that amusing."

"Hell yeah it is!" Jim whacked him with the pillow. "Seriously though, am I going to have deal with your jealous wife someday?"

Spock shook his head. "T'Pring died when New Vulcan was destroyed." He had felt the bond die that day, but it had been only the smallest thread in his mind and the loss had not been painful. He had often wondered if he should feel guilt over that, but he could not bring himself to care that much for someone he had not seen for twenty years. He would always remember their bonding though; he had loved her in that moment when their minds met.

Jim slumped against Spock. "I just keep sticking my feet in my mouth, don't I?"

"I have come to expect it from you."

Jim whacked him with the pillow again. "I was trying to apologize, you asshole."

Spock stole the pillow again and tossed it to the other side of the room. Before Jim could think to grab the other pillows on the bed, Spock tossed them aside as well. "You are no longer allowed to have pillows in my presence. They make you behave like a child."

Jim stuck out his tongue. "I'll show you behaving like a child." He pounced on Spock, knocking him backwards so that he was laying on the bed with Jim stretched out on top of him. Then Jim licked a long stripe up Spock's cheek.

Spock wiped off the saliva with the back of his hand. "That is disgusting."

Jim grinned. "Good." He pushed himself up, but didn't move off Spock. "And now I've got you right where I want you."

"Jim, is this really an appropriate time for this?" Spock tried to squirm out from underneath him. Their parents were on the ship.

Jim slid a hand under Spock's shirt, flooding his system with Jim's constant lust. "Oh, I think this is a great time. Our parents won't be out of their room for hours yet, the ship is on a direct course for New Vulcan, and we've got seven hours until we're expected on the bridge." He licked Spock's face again, swirling his tongue along the line of Spock's jaw. It was… not unpleasant this time. "Plus, Bones declared that we need rest, so we're officially off duty till our arrival at New Vulcan."

There was logically nothing to impede them. "Very well… Captain."

Jim laughed and stripped off his shirt. His pants, underwear, and shoes quickly followed. Spock had barely gotten his shirt off before Jim started yanking Spock's shoes off. They pulled his pants off together before they both tumbled back onto the bed.

"Hold on," Jim said suddenly. He clambered over Spock and headed for the bathroom. On his way, he grabbed the pillows from the floor and tossed them at Spock. Then he darted into the bathroom.

"Jim!"

Jim stuck his head out the door. "What?"

"I said no pillows." Spock lobbed one at him.

Jim caught it and grinned. "I promise not to do anything childish with them." He disappeared from sight and Spock heard a cabinet open. Jim reappeared a moment later, a bottle of personal lubricant in hand. "You wanna?"

"Yes." Spock's arousal grew quickly as Jim sauntered across the room wearing nothing but a grin.

Jim paused next to the bed to toss a pillow onto Spock's head. "Get comfy then. How long has it been since you bottomed?"

"Years." Most of his partners had been female only by chance. Given the choice, he was more attracted to men. Spock settled two pillows under his head and two more under his hips.

Jim climbed onto the bed. "I'll go slow then." He froze, hovering over Spock.

When Jim didn't move, Spock growled. "Fuck me, Jim."

Jim just smiled. "Now, now, big brother, don't get impatient."

That was so very wrong. They weren't related, not genetically, but the taboo of the thought was terribly arousing. Jim apparently agreed as his lust continued to grow and spill over into Spock, though Jim still wasn't moving.

Spock could play this game. "Fuck me, baby brother."

Jim's eyes fluttered closed. "I'm not a baby."

"You are younger than me. That makes you the baby." Spock had to fight a smirk when Jim's arousal sparked under his skin. "Come on, little brother."

"I think I like the Captain roleplay better," Jim whined.

"Less talking, more fucking."

Jim groaned and leaned down to kiss Spock harshly. They soon put the pillows to good use. Afterwards, Jim collapsed next to Spock. "That was awesome."

Spock took a deep breath. "Indeed. We have six hours until our arrival at New Vulcan. I suggest we sleep." Spock redistributed the pillows so that they each had two to lie on. Then he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. From the bathroom, he heard Jim rustling around. Something occurred to him. "I refuse to sleep on the wet pillows, Jim."

Jim cursed and a pillow flew into the bathroom. "Fine then! I'll just sleep on you!"

"As you wish." Spock wasn't about to complain. He liked feeling the press of Jim's emotions in his sleep.

Jim huffed. "You make it really hard to rebel, Spock."

Spock climbed into the sonic shower for a quick cleansing. When he finished, he pulled on a pair of underwear and peeked into the bedroom. Jim was already asleep and curled up with both of the dry pillows.

Spock sighed and turned off the lights. After raising the temperature slightly, Spock climbed into bed and wrestled one of the pillows from Jim. Jim rolled over and cuddled into Spock. He set an alarm for thirty-minutes prior to their arrival and closed his eyes. Jim's drowsy contentment tugged at Spock, lulling him to sleep.

* * *

Sarek woke up and sat up in bed. His back was stiff and his whole body ached, but the flame of Pon Farr was finally gone.

Winona rolled over next to him and she yawned. "What time is it? Ugh. Computer, what's the stardate?"

"The stardate is 2259.48," the computer announced.

"Shoot, it's been two days since our rescue." Winona sat up.

"I am certain we have arrived at New Vulcan." Sarek climbed out of bed. "I will get dressed and speak with our sons. You should visit sickbay."

Winona waved a hand at him and yawned. "I'm fine. A little rough sex isn't going to kill me. Just let me sleep some more." She flopped back onto her pillow.

"You should drink some water and eat."

Winona stuck out her lower lip. "I don't have the energy to move yet."

Sarek entered the bathroom and got two glasses of water. He drank one himself and brought the other to Winona. "Drink." It would not be enough to rehydrate her, but it would help.

Winona drank it all and set the glass on her nightstand. "Can I sleep now?"

There was little that needed Winona's attention at that moment. She could sleep while he spoke with Jim and Spock. "I will wake you when plans have been made."

She yawned. "'kay. Night." Winona closed her eyes and sprawled across the majority of the double bed.

Sarek took a quick sonic shower to clean off the bodily fluids that had dried on his skin, and then he dressed in the same clothes he had come on board in. He had not thought to ask for other clothes due to his… distraction.

Not wishing to wake Winona, Sarek stepped into the other bedroom of the suite and turned on the communication system. "Ambassador Sarek to Commander Spock."

"Spock here."

"I wish to speak with you and the Captain."

"We will meet you in the conference room where you and I spoke."

"Very well. Sarek out." He turned off the connection and left for the conference room. He remembered its location easily, and arrived before Spock and Jim.

Spock entered the room calmly and Jim followed after, agitation apparent in the short steps he took. "Is my mom okay?" Jim demanded.

"She is fine but resting. Humans are not meant to withstand the pressures of Pon Farr." Sarek nodded to the table. "Shall we sit?" Jim yanked out a chair and fell into it. Spock lowered himself into a chair next to Jim, and Sarek took a seat across the table. "Have we arrived at New Vulcan yet?"

"We have been in orbit around the planet for twenty-five point three hours now." Spock's lips tightened. "We have been ordered to leave you here and return the _Trellis_ survivors to Earth before attending to our prior mission in the Neutral Zone. The admiralty expects us to leave New Vulcan in twelve hours."

Jim sat upright in his chair. "Spock told me why you had to come back to New Vulcan. Why didn't you explain to Starfleet that you've got this crazy epidemic going on? Spock won't let me tell them and Starfleet won't let us stay to help if I can't give them a good reason for our presence."

"Vulcans cannot tell out worlders about Pon Farr." Sarek clasped his hands together. It was bad enough that they had to explain Pon Farr to Winona and Jim.

Jim threw his hands up in the air. "Why not? It's just sex."

"During Pon Farr, a Vulcan's logic is ripped from him. He devolves into a creature ruled by emotion." Spock stared at the wall. "He goes mad."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Sarek didn't look mad to me. A little more irritated than normal, but not crazy."

Sarek released his clasped hands. "That was due to Winona's stabilizing presence in the bond. If I had fallen further into the blood fever, I would have lost my mind, attempting to forcefully bond with any unbonded female in my vicinity. If anyone had tried to stop me, I would have ripped them apart with my bare hands."

"Um…" Jim stared at him. "I think it's probably a good thing that I didn't know that before I left you alone with my mom."

Spock looked over at Jim. "A Vulcan would never hurt their bondmate, Captain."

Jim rubbed his neck for a moment. "That's good. And you're sure my mother is okay?"

Sarek felt for the bond. Vague impressions of Earth animals filtered through the connection. "I believe she is dreaming about… sheep?" That was the name connected with the fluffy white animals in his mind. He had never seen such a creature in real life.

Jim chuckled. "She's addicted to those things. The farmhouse is full of sheep figurines and sheep dishes and stuff."

Intriguing. Sarek made a note of the information.

Jim's laughter died quickly. "I still don't understand why you won't tell Starfleet about this. Spock said you're running out of women. What are you going to do when there aren't any more?"

"We will have to send the other men off world to find bondmates or bring women to New Vulcan." It was a simple solution, but it would work. "We will hopefully stop the epidemic before that becomes necessary."

"Don't you want the _Enterprise_ to help?"

Spock leaned slightly towards Jim. "As I said, Captain, the premier scientists on New Vulcan are working on the problem. They will find the answer."

"I'm sure they will." Jim grinned. "But I've got an answer of my own. The _Enterprise_ is full of young women."

"You would order your crewmembers to bond with Vulcan men." That was against any code of ethics Sarek knew. "I will not allow that."

Jim stood up and started pacing the room. "Vulcans! What does it take to get you to understand innuendo?" Jim paused. "Well, except you Spock. I think you understand innuendo quite well now." Jim winked.

Spock did not meet Jim's gaze, instead turning to face Sarek. "I believe that the Captain meant to say that the crew of the _Enterprise_ would like to help with the investigation and that there are many female members of the crew who might find Vulcan men attractive should they happen to come in contact with them."

Jim clapped Spock on the shoulder and left his hand resting there. "That's exactly what I meant."

It was a partial solution. The _Enterprise_ had some of the most intelligent scientists in Starfleet and approximately two hundred members of her crew were female. The women wouldn't be enough to supply mates for all the Vulcan men, but if even a few voluntarily chose to bond, it would aid the decreasing population of Vulcan women.

It was logical to request assistance from the _Enterprise_. The council would be upset, but simple embarrassment was not enough reason to not accept the help that they did need. "You may inform Starfleet about our situation. Spock will be able to provide the necessary information." Sarek rose. "I will prepare the Vulcan council to accept your assistance."

Jim pumped his fist in the air. "Awesome! No Neutral Zone for us!"

Spock stood. "Captain, I do not believe that is an appropriate statement to make in front of the Ambassador."

Jim waved an absent hand in the air. "It's fine. I mean, he's like my dad now… right, big brother?"

"Jim!" Spock sounded scandalized and his eyebrows rose dramatically. The last time Sarek had seen him express that much emotion was the day Amanda died, and that had been Jim's doing as well.

"Captain Kirk, your behavior is acceptable in the Human culture and I take no offense, as your reasoning is correct." He was, temporarily and technically, the father of this illogical human.

"Really? I don't get any kind of reprimand?" Sarek was surprised when Jim sighed. "What _does_ it take to ruffle your feathers?"

"I have no feathers to ruffle."

Jim shook his head. "Vulcans! Never mind, I'm going to go get in touch with Pike and let him know what's going on. I'm sure he'll okay us to stay." Jim held up his hand in a Vulcan salute. "See you later, Pop!"

Spock and Sarek watched Jim leave in silence. When he was gone, Sarek turned to his son. "Your captain enjoys irritating you."

"Affirmative." Spock's facial expressions had returned to normal, but his cheeks were slightly tinged with green.

"Perhaps that is a good thing."

"Father?"

Sarek clasped his hands together behind his back. "You are half-Human, Spock. My ways may not be your ways."

Spock gave a short nod. "I have found that logic has limitations, especially when dealing with Humans."

Or when dealing with Pon Farr. "Have you located a potential bondmate yet?" Allowing the _Enterprise_ crew to know of the epidemic would make it easier for Spock to find a mate. The Humans would not allow their First Officer to die.

"No."

Spock seemed unwilling to consider that he might suffer Pon Farr. Sarek did not wish it on him, but preparation was logical. "You must locate one. Choosing a mate while in the blood fever will be difficult and you may choose unwisely." Winona was an adequate bondmate. Sarek would not have fared Pon Farr so well with any of the other survivors of the _Trellis_. It was fortunate that he had chosen her.

"I will locate one soon." Spock turned to the door. "I must assist the Captain." He left.

Sarek remained in the room and used the communication system to contact the council. They were not pleased to learn of what he had done, but they had to admit to the logicality of the decision. The Vulcan species was endangered. Extinction was to be avoided at all costs.

Sarek made arrangements to beam down himself, Winona, and a preliminary team from the Enterprise. Once they had been briefed, the _Enterprise_ crew would be mobilized to begin research on the epidemic.

Sarek was just finishing his conversation with the council when he felt Winona stirring in his mind. He ended the communication and proceeded to their rooms. They needed to talk.

* * *

Winona was in the shower when he arrived. In the bedroom, Sarek changed into the clothes he had procured on his way to their rooms. He left Winona's clothes on the bed for her and took a seat at the room's small table.

Winona stepped out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her head and her lower body naked. "Did you talk to the boys?"

Sarek watched her move about the room, utterly secure in her nudity. It was well deserved security. Her breasts, just large enough to hold, and her hips, round enough to grip, were very attractive. Even the gentle curve of her stomach was aesthetically pleasing. She was quite physically fit for a woman of her age.

With a soft laugh, she suddenly approached Sarek and bent over to kiss him quickly. "You better watch out. If you keep looking at me like that, I'm not going to want to break the bond when our three months are over."

Would that be a bad thing? Sarek brushed away the thought. He had not betrayed Amanda by taking a Human bondmate to save his life, but he would betray her if he kept that bondmate. "How do I look at you?" he asked. He would avoid such actions in the future.

"Like I'm the most interesting science experiment in the world, and you want to study everything about me." Winona leaned over and kissed him again. As they touched, Sarek read her emotions without thinking. Sheer lust washed him away.

Sarek broke the kiss. "I apologize. I believe you are still suffering from the bond's initiation of Pon Farr."

"Huh?"

"Your main emotion is lust." Strong, powerful, burning lust that made Sarek's stomach clench pleasantly.

Winona tugged the towel from her head. Damp hair spilled over her shoulders. "Oh, that's not Pon Farr. Lust is my perpetual state of being nowadays." The towel slipped to the floor.

Sarek felt along the bond. Winona sensed him and guided him to the appropriate thoughts. She had been divorced for two years, ready to move on for one year, and casually dating for six months. Memories of a string of random men in Winona's bed floated past. Sarek shoved them violently away.

_A little possessive for someone who claims he wants to give me up, aren't you?_

Sarek pulled away from the bond. Winona followed him into his head.

_Don't be like that. I know you're hurting. I also know you want companionship, even though you consider it a petty Human ideal._

How was she so good at manipulating the bond? It had taken Amanda months to learn how to talk through it.

_My family has mild psi-abilities. And don't try to change the subject. You know Amanda won't hate you if you fall in love with someone. It took me a while to realize that after George died, but I know you already know. You just won't let yourself believe it._

She wouldn't hate him. Amanda could hate no one, and though she had taken on Surakian principles after their marriage, Amanda understood emotion better than anyone. She would understand, but she didn't need to understand. Sarek could love no one but her.

_I won't push. It takes time. I just want you to know that I like you. I understand how you think, and I really liked the sex. If this relationship turns into something deeper, I won't mind._ Winona withdrew both physically and mentally. She began to get dressed, pulling on her underwear. "Now, tell me about our sons. How are they taking this?"

Sarek was grateful for the distance she gave him. "Jim called me 'Pop.' I believe that is a Human word for father?"

Winona shook her head. "Jimmy's testing his boundaries with you. He used to call Frank that. It pissed Frank off because he always wanted Jim to call him Dad." She pulled up her pants. "How did Spock react?"

"Spock did not mention our relationship or its connotations, but he reprimanded Jim for speaking potentially provocative statements in my presence."

"Poor kid. He's probably all twisted up at the thought of me replacing his mother. I'll have to let him know I'm not interested in taking her place." She tugged her shirt over her head.

No one could ever take Amanda's place, but it was good that Winona did not want to try.

Winona sat down on the edge of the bed to pull on her socks and shoes. "Well, at least the boys aren't too upset. It'll probably take them a while to get used to this, but they've got each other for support." Fully dressed, she stood up. "Now, let's go grab some food, I'm famished. You can tell me about what's happening with New Vulcan while we eat."

Such an illogical woman. She would fight over emotions even though she was starving, and yet an epidemic with the potential to affect the entire New Vulcan population was less important than food.

And yet, it was that very illogic that Sarek found intriguing. Amanda had been quite logical from the beginning of their relationship, and though she had not always agreed with Surakian principles, she had liked the orderliness of logic. Sarek had loved her, his logical Human. He could never love Winona. She was intriguing but irrational. It was impossible.

Winona opened the door. "Food, Sarek. Come on!"

He followed her, sighing internally. He would only be connected to her for three months. The time would pass quickly, he hoped.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Sarek stepped onto the transporter pad. Winona took a place at his side, and Spock and Jim stood together on the far side of the pad. Doctor McCoy was the final member of the landing party, and he took a spot between the two pairs.

"You know, this is kind of like being a neutral faction between two warring parties," McCoy whispered to Jim, but Sarek's Vulcan ears caught the sentence.

Jim punched McCoy in the shoulder. "Oh, shut up." His voice was plainly audible to everyone in the room. "It's just awkward. There are certain things that no one needs to know about their parents."

Winona clucked her tongue at him. "Everyone has sex, Jimmy. How do you think you got here?"

Jim wrinkled his nose, as if he smelled something rancid. "I was an immaculate conception."

Before Winona could reply, Sarek turned to the transporter operator. "Energize." The transporter room blurred into the New Vulcan high council hall.

The council was gathered in preparation for their arrival. Sarek stepped forward and saluted them. "We come to serve."

T'Pau returned his salute. "Your service honors us."

Jim stepped forward and raised his hand in a salute. Sarek wished to stop him from speaking, expecting Jim to act as irreverently to Sarek's mother as he had to Sarek. Instead, Jim surprised Sarek.

"Greetings. I am Captain James T. Kirk of the USS _Enterprise_. My crew and I are sympathetic to your plight and wish to offer our assistance."

T'Pau was seated on the council platform, and she tilted her face down towards Jim, regarding him silently. After a few moments, she nodded. "I am T'Pau, head council woman. We accept your offer. Welcome to New Vulcan." She stood and stepped down from the platform. "I shall speak with Sarek privately while you are introduced to the rest of the council." She turned towards the door.

Sarek took a deep breath. "Winona Kirk should accompany me in this discussion." He needed to introduce his new bondmate to his mother. He had not wished to explain his bonding through a comm link, and he knew Spock and Jim had not spoken of it in their communications with New Vulcan.

T'Pau looked over her shoulder. Her eyes narrowed at Winona. Sarek knew she was merely assessing why he had made the statement, but Winona cringed, anxiety spiking through the bond. Finally T'Pau nodded and left the room.

Sarek moved to follow her and Winona caught his hand in hers, shocking him. _This is inappropriate!_ he said through the bond.

Winona's hand fell away, and she didn't reply, but worry/fear/frustration/sadness leaked through the bond. Sarek followed his mother and Winona walked just behind him. In the corridor, he saw his mother enter a different room and headed in that direction. The emotions coming through the bond intensified.

Outside the door, Sarek paused. He held his hand out to Winona.

_Sarek?_

It was inappropriate to hold hands in public Vulcan society, especially before one's elders, but Winona was Human and Humans took comfort from the gesture. _I wish to soothe you,_ he thought at her.

Winona flooded the bond with pure affection and captured his hand in hers. She dragged him into the room before he could recover from the rush of emotion.

T'Pau stood waiting. Her eyes flicked to their clasped hands and then to Sarek's face. Sarek tightened his grip slightly. "This is Winona Kirk, mother to Captain James T. Kirk. When I entered Pon Farr, she chose to bond with me." He looked at Winona. "Winona, this is my mother, T'Pau, head of the house of Surak and the highest council member."

Winona raised her hand in a perfect Vulcan salute. "Nice to meet you, ma'am."

T'Pau inclined her head towards Winona. "You honor the house of Surak through your assistance of Sarek. I had wished to speak with Sarek about procuring a potential bondmate, but you have negated that need." She took a more formal stance, clasping her hands behind her back and straightening her shoulders. "Lady Winona Kirk, bondmate of Sarek, I welcome you into the house of Surak."

_**Lady** Winona?_

_The house of Surak is the highest clan on Vulcan. As my bondmate, you are afforded the respect inherent in that social status._

Winona's head whipped towards Sarek. _You didn't tell me I was marrying royalty!_ She pursed her lips. _And you definitely didn't tell me I was going to be meeting the queen, who's apparently **your mother**!_

_She is not the queen. New Vulcan is not a monarchy._

She glared at him. _I'm gonna get you for this. Just you wait._

T'Pau cleared her throat. "We shall return to the council room now." She didn't wait for them but proceeded quickly from the room.

Winona and Sarek followed. Winona still held his hand, but Sarek did not try to break the connection. Amanda had assimilated into Vulcan culture prior to her arrival; Winona had not been given that opportunity. He would have to accommodate her Humanity until she learned more about Vulcan culture.

Prior to entering the council room again, Winona withdrew her hand from his. Sarek glanced at her and she smiled. _I don't need as much support for this. A room of Vulcans is nowhere near as frightening as a mother-in-law._

Inside the council room, conference tables were being set up. Sarek was surprised until noticed that most of the people arranging the tables and chairs were _Enterprise_ crew members and that Jim was telling them what to do. The council seemed uneasy, standing around the edges of the room and talking amongst themselves.

Sarek spotted Spock nearby. "Why are the tables here?" he asked his son.

Spock glanced at Jim and then the council platform. "The Captain wishes for this to be a collaborative effort."

Bringing in tables and seating everyone on the same level, instead of having the Humans look up to address the Vulcan council on the platform, would remove power from the Vulcan council and distribute it evenly among the Humans and Vulcans. Jim was more intelligent than he appeared. "Did the council brief you?"

"No. We are awaiting the arrival of the scientist heading the investigation."

The buzz of the activity in the room came to a halt as the last of the tables were put into place. Jim stepped up to Spock and Sarek. "I want you two on either side of me. I'm going to need your support in this."

"Of course, Captain," Spock replied. Sarek simply followed Jim to the middle table and took a seat to his left. Winona sat next to Sarek, and Spock sat on Jim's right. The _Enterprise_ crew members filled in the rest of the seats on their side of the table.

The council and the rest of the Vulcan scientists attending the meeting sat across the table from them. As a member of the house of Surak and the top Ambassador of Vulcan, Sarek had often taken an honorary place amongst the council. It was peculiar to be opposite them. T'Pau took the seat across from Sarek, leaving the seat across from Jim empty. There was no one higher than T'Pau. Who would be afforded the place of honor?

The door to the council room opened and a Vulcan older than Sarek entered. Sarek had never seen the man before.

Next to him, Jim covered Spock's eyes with his hands and hissed loud enough for every Vulcan in the room to hear, "Don't look, Spock!"

The elderly Vulcan smiled—actually smiled!—and shook his head. "The universe will not implode, Jim. Spock and I have met before."

Sarek did not understand what the Vulcan meant. His reaction and appearance seemed somewhat Human in origin though. Perhaps he was one of the Vulcans who had attempted to embrace emotions among the Humans after the _Kelvin_ and it was some kind of Human practical joke. Sarek could not surmise if this were true for the complexities of Human pranks escaped him.

Jim's hands fell from Spock's eyes. One of Spock's eyebrows was raised in what seemed to be amusement. Jim looked back and forth between the old Vulcan and Spock. Suddenly he pointed a finger at the old Vulcan. "You lied to me!"

"Vulcans do not lie," chorused Spock and the old Vulcan at the same time. Though their voices sounded slightly different, the old Vulcan's cracking with age and Spock's somewhat testy, their intonation was exactly the same, as were their raised eyebrows.

Jim sighed and his shoulders slumped. The air of maturity he had cultivated was gone. "You're both a pair of lying liars."

T'Pau pursed her lips. "Captain Kirk, I would introduce you to Spirk, but I believe you have already met." Her words were polite and distant from the situation, but her tone was censorious.

Jim straightened up in his seat and rearranged his facial expression to a more neutral position. "Yes, ma'am."

Winona chuckled through the bond. _I think I like this new mother-in-law of mine. It takes a strong lady to make Jim behave._

The old Vulcan proceeded to the empty seat across from Jim. He gazed around the room after he sat, taking a moment to meet the glances of those looking at him. At last, he spoke. "Greetings. I go by the name of Spirk. I am the head scientist investigating the Pon Farr outbreak. Your assistance on this project will aid us in stopping the epidemic before it can claim lives."

Jim leaned forward in his seat. "What do we know about Pon Farr?"

"Pon Farr is a mating urge that exists naturally in male Vulcans. Certain chemicals can cause Pon Farr in both genders and a male Vulcan can initiate Pon Farr through a bond or mindmeld with a male or female of many different species." Spirk glanced at Spock as he spoke. "The physical characteristics of Pon Farr include elevated levels of certain hormones such as testosterone. The mental characteristics include an impression of one's blood burning in one's veins and the need to quench the 'fire' through mating. If these mental urges are left untreated, the sufferer's body will reject food and water and the elevated hormone levels will quickly kill them." Spirk stopped talking and folded his hands together on the table before them.

Doctor McCoy spoke up from down the table. "What kind of studies have been done on the phenomenon?" Most of the Vulcans shifted uncomfortably in their seats. "Is it purely psychological, or are there physiological reasons for it?"

Spirk shrugged, a very human movement. "There have been no studies done. Pon Farr is shrouded in ancient rituals and taboos. To speak of it like this would be impossible if our species was not so close to extinction."

McCoy shook his head. "You mean to tell me y'all have no idea what happens to you in Pon Farr?"

"Correct."

"Well, we've got our work cut out for us then." McCoy pinched the bridge of his nose and frowned.

Jim tilted his head to the side. "You don't have any _special_ information for us, Spo... _Spirk_?"

Spirk glanced at him sharply. "Captain?"

"I mean... isn't there any information you might have that the rest of us wouldn't for... oh, about a hundred and fifty years?" Jim grinned then jerked suddenly. He squinted, as if in sudden pain. "Never mind, I'll shut up."

Spirk turned to Spock. "I do know more, perhaps, than the average Vulcan does on the subject. It is why I have been given control of the project. I found it necessary to understand Pon Farr more thoroughly after a life spent in space made my Pon Farr somewhat different from ordinary Vulcan men's Pon Farr."

At those words, Spock's eyes widened, his nostrils flared, and his lips tightened. The Vulcans in the room who noticed shook their heads at him. Did they realize that disapproval was an emotion, if a subtle one? To criticize Spock's emotional reaction with an emotional reaction of their own was purely hypocritical. Sarek wondered what had caused his son's blatant reaction though.

Jim settled back into his seat. "That's what I thought. Alright, my crew, I'll talk to Spirk and see about getting you set up with his research team and working on this as quickly as possible." Jim turned to T'Pau. "Only about half of my crew has a strong enough background in biology to assist in the research, but the rest of us would like to help too. I'm sure you have some capable scientists stuck working on other things when they could be helping with the epidemic research, so I'd like to offer the remainder of my crew as workers to replace those scientists."

T'Pau bowed her head. "Your offer honors us greatly. We accept and anticipate working with you." She stood. "Spirk will attend to your scientists. His bondmate T'Pella will attend to the remainder of your crew." She offered the gathered crowd a salute. "Live long and prosper."

All of the Vulcans and many of the Humans raised their hands and repeated the salutation, and then the meeting was officially adjourned. Sarek turned to Winona. "Will you be assisting in the research?" They had not discussed her plans for the future yet. Sarek did not even know if she would be returning to Earth to be assigned somewhere by Starfleet.

"Of course! My background leans more towards the physical than the life sciences, but I know enough to help out with the basic research." Winona waved a hand at Jim. "And Starfleet's officially added us survivors of the _Trellis_ to the _Enterprise's_ crew list, so I'm allowed to stay and help."

She would not be leaving. Sarek felt a relief he could not explain. He pushed the emotion away and stood. People were beginning to mingle. He pulled Winona's chair out for her and then guided her towards one of his acquaintances. It was time to start focusing on the epidemic.

* * *

Jim approached Spock's counterpart and slugged him in the shoulder. "So, Spirk, how have you been and why are you a lying liar?"

The edges of Spirk's mouth quirked up. "Jim, it is good to see you. I did not lie."

Spock stepped closer to join the conversation. "I believe Spirk allowed you to infer something that was not the truth, Captain. He did not, in fact, lie."

"Indeed. I merely allowed you to lie to yourself."

Jim crossed his arms. "Sure. We'll go with that. And what's this I hear about you having a bondmate and Pon Farr? Spock said that wouldn't happen to him."

Spirk glanced at Spock. "I am afraid our biology is more Vulcan than we thought. I experienced my first Pon Farr when I was thirty-five years old."

Spock was grateful for the warning, but knowing that he would have to experience Pon Farr at all was upsetting. He had truly thought he would never go through it. Perhaps he would have to follow his father's suggestion and look for a potential bondmate after all.

"More recently," Spirk continued, "I experienced Pon Farr six months after I arrived on New Vulcan and took T'Pella as a bondmate." Spirk pointed to a young woman across the room. "T'Pella is in charge of city planning for New Vulcan." Jim started coughing.

"Captain?" Spock asked.

Jim waved a hand in the air. "Um, nothing, just choked on a little air there. Spirk, your wife can't be more than forty years old!"

"She is thirty-two," Spirk said.

Jim grimaced. "But you're nearly two-hundred!"

Spock had a feeling Jim was less upset by the age difference than Spirk's age alone. Humans seemed to think of sex as something that only the young partook in. Vulcans had never developed that attitude, for Vulcan men often experienced Pon Farr into their third century of life and Vulcan women could carry children for equally as long.

Spirk just shook his head again. "Age matters not in the face of Pon Farr. She was the only unbonded female on the planet at that time, aside from T'Pau, and I did not wish to bond with my grandmother even in the midst of the blood fever."

"T'Pau's your grandmother?" Jim stared at Spock. "She's your grandmother too? Does that make her my grandmother? Please say no."

Was it awful to take pleasure in tormenting Jim's psyche? Spock thought it probably was, but that didn't stop him from telling the truth. "Due to our parents' bonding, since you have no prior connection to a Vulcan clan, you are now an extended member of the house of Surak. In Human terms, yes, she is your grandmother, though Vulcan familial connections are traditionally less defined."

"Mom chooses the best husbands, I swear. The first one died, the second one was a bastard, and this one has the head of all Vulcan for a mother." Jim sighed.

Spirk looked back and forth between them. "I do not understand. My father and Winona bonded?"

Jim laughed. "Oh, believe me, it surprised us, too! Mom's vessel was transporting Sarek to New Vulcan when, as far as we can tell, an asteroid fragment smashed into it and weakened the ship's hull. It ruptured a few minutes later and the whole thing imploded. Mom and Sarek escaped with a few others on a shuttlepod, landed on Fellor III, and Sarek went into Pon Farr. He and Mom bonded just as we saved them and they had sex—on my ship!"

Spirk blinked rapidly. "How odd. Father did take another Human wife in my timeline after my mother died. I suppose it is not an unprecedented course of action."

Jim settled his hands on his hips. "Now that we know we're all one big happy family, let's get down to business. What can we do to help?"

Spirk immediately launched into a discussion on how the _Enterprise's_ crew members could help with the scientific research and the work on Vulcan. He even offered suggestions for crew members to fulfill certain positions. Spock was shocked to discover that nearly ninety percent of the _Enterprise's_ crew had been on the ship in Spirk's timeline as well. It seemed as though there was a force in the universe realigning everyone to fit a predestined path. Spock did not know what to think of this. Would he really be trapped in a future not of his choosing?

Thoughts of what the future might hold occupied a small corner of his mind as they concluded their preliminary planning with Spirk and T'Pella. Spock and Kirk beamed back to the _Enterprise_ to begin briefing the crew that had remained onboard and to craft duty schedules to accommodate the work that had to continue on the ship, as well as the work that they would begin on New Vulcan. It wasn't until later that afternoon, while finishing up the schedules in Jim's room, that Spock broached the topic that had been bothering him.

"Spirk spoke as if he expected this universe to eventually revert to the same appearance as his. Do you believe that this will occur?"

Jim glanced up from his PADD. "Oh, I don't know. Why?"

Spock continued arranging crew members into time slots, but most of his attention was redistributed to the conversation. "I am uncertain whether the notion of destiny appeals to me."

Jim set the PADD on his desk and twined the fingers of his fingers together. Pressing them outwards, they made a painful sounding crack. "Maybe it's not destiny that will bring us back to that universe. Maybe we all just make decisions based on who we are. If we are the same people, our decisions would remain the same, and thus our place in the universe would be the same."

"That cannot be true. In the other universe, you were not a captain until you were much older, correct?"

Jim propped his chin up on his palm and rested his elbow on the desk. "That's what Spirk says, but the point is that I made the decision to aim for captaincy and I got it. If the universe were really trying to realign itself, wouldn't it have made more sense for the universe to hold back on making me captain until I was supposed to be captain?"

Spock placed the last few crewmembers on his list into the schedule. He put aside his PADD then pressed the fingertips of his hands together. "It is impossible to tell without more data."

Jim stood and cracked his back. "I've been staring at computer screens for too long to be thinking about existential questions. Let's take a break."

Spock was not mentally tired, but his body did feel a bit stiff. A walk to the mess hall would relax his muscles. "Shall we get some lunch?"

"Oh, I'm hungry—" Jim stretched, his body forming a long, lean line "—but not for food." He came out of the stretch with a grin and reached out for Spock.

Spock allowed his hands to be taken and for Jim's emotions to thrum through the contact. The lust was duller than normal, and there was a softer feeling that Spock did not receive from many besides Jim: companionship. Feeling their friendship through the bond was nice, but not at all erotic. "You do not seem to be aroused."

Jim wrinkled his nose. "Sorry. I keep thinking of Spirk and T'Pella. I mean, I know what you're like in bed, but I just can't imagine Spirk having sex. He's so old!"

"So you want to have sex with me in an attempt to get rid of your thoughts of Spirk?"

"Hell, yeah." Jim tugged on the bottom of Spock's shirt. "Off with this now."

Spock backed away. "I think not. You have insulted me."

"What?" Jim reached out for him. "Come on, don't be like that."

"Insinuating that I am repulsive and should become asexual when I am older is not conducive to copulation." Spock took another step back, consciously moving closer to the bed. Teasing Jim was quite entertaining, but Spock would not keep on for much longer. He shared Jim's interest in sex.

Jim stuck out his lower lip. "I don't think that about you at all! You and Spirk are totally different!"

"And yet we are the same person with the same physical traits, meaning I will look like him one day."

Jim put his hands on his hips. "You're just being a pain in the ass now. What do I need to do to prove I don't think you'll be ugly when you're old?"

Spock halted next to the bed. Casually, he raised a hand to his face and stroked his chin. "Hmm. Perhaps you should go seduce Spirk."

Jim squawked. "No way!"

Spock let his hand fall. "Then copulation is out of the question."

Jim opened his mouth to speak, but before a word could escape, he snapped it closed. His eyes narrowed. "You Vulcans are lying liars!"

Jim had finally caught on. "Vulcans cannot lie, Captain."

"Oh really, Mr. I'm-so-insulted-you-should-go-seduce-old-m

e?" Jim jabbed a finger into Spock's chest.

Spock stripped off his shirts and then tugged off Jim's. When they were both bare-chested, he pressed himself close. The thrum of arousal was much stronger now. "Vulcans cannot lie," he said. He moved his lips close to Jim's ear and whispered, "But I am not entirely Vulcan."

With a cry of delight, Jim shoved him backwards onto the bed. "I knew it! You both are lying, lying liars!" He yanked off his pants and his briefs, tugging off his shoes along with the pants and leaving them all lying on the floor in a mess. Spock allowed Jim to then pull off his shoes and pants.

Jim had just begun to tug of Spock's underwear when Spock heard the Jim's door slide open. "Jim!" Jim pulled harder. "Stop!" The tugging at his underwear stopped, but they were halfway down his legs and Jim was still holding them when Winona Kirk stepped into the now open door. "Jim, stop!" Jim finally pulled back. He looked up at Spock.

Spock gestured towards the open door and their mother while trying to cover himself with his hands. Jim looked over his shoulder and gulped. She stared at them for a second, and Spock and Jim stared back.

"I just wanted to see if you wanted to get lunch with me, but obviously you don't, so I think I'll just be going to the mess hall now." She took a step back. "When you're done, maybe we should have a talk." She turned and fled.

Jim let his head fall to Spock's thigh. "I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I spent nearly six years sneaking girls into my room back home, and she never caught me. Why does it have to be this time that I forget to lock the door?"

Spock shook his head, even though he knew Jim couldn't see it. He knew that there was nothing wrong with what he and Jim had been doing, but he didn't think Winona would share that opinion. She seemed confident that she wished to remain bonded with Sarek, and in the short time Spock had spent around her, she had begun making friendly overtures as if she considered him part of her family. To Winona, it had probably looked like her sons were having sex.

And that was exactly what it would look like to his father. "Jim. Sarek will know about us through the bond."

Jim settled back onto his heels and Spock propped himself up on his elbows to look at him. "This is going to be awkward, isn't it?"

"Exceedingly awkward. Vulcans do not have casual sex. My father will be... shocked, in emotional terms." Spock sat up fully and reached for his shirts on the ground. There was no way he could get aroused now.

Jim stood and started getting dressed too. "What are we going to tell them?"

"I don't know." They finished dressing in silence and then stood still for a moment, thinking.

Finally, Jim turned to the door and squared his shoulders. "Well, there's no time like the present. Mom said she'd be in the mess."

They left the room and headed for the mess. The halls were empty, most of the crewmembers having beamed down to New Vulcan. In the mess, they gathered trays of food before going to sit with Winona, falling back on the semblances of normalcy to alleviate some of the discomfort of the situation.

Winona's food was nearly gone. She stared across the table at them for a minute, then looked back down at the nearly empty tray. "I apologize for barging in like that." Her gaze came back up quickly. "But what the heck were you two doing?"

Jim snorted. "Are you really asking that, Mom? Weren't you the one who just this morning said, 'Everyone has sex, Jimmy'?"

She flinched. "I know what you were doing. I just wasn't expecting it. You are already so close that, with my bonding to Sarek, I kind of thought you'd bond as brothers."

"Oh, we've been doing lots of 'bonding.'" Jim smirked.

"Don't back-talk me, James Tiberius Kirk!"

Jim's hands clenched into fists. "Don't treat me like a child, Mother. I am your commanding officer at the moment."

Winona clenched her teeth and gritted out her next words. "Don't even think about calling this insubordination. There's not a court in the Federation that would ask a mother to let her son order her around."

It was time for a voice of reason to be added to the conversation. "There is no reason to fight. Jim and I are not blood-related, and while I understand your confusion at the apparent change in our relationship, we were intimately involved prior to your bonding with my father. Jim is... my closest friend. This relationship is acceptable to both of us."

Winona softened, her shoulders relaxing visibly. "I knew you two were close; I just didn't realize how close."

Jim calmed down too, his hands relaxing out of their fists. "Spock's my first officer, friend, brother, and more." He glanced at Spock. "I don't really know how to describe our relationship, but he gets me better than most people do."

Winona shook her head, then suddenly nodded. "Sarek is pleased with your relationship as... t'hy'la?"

T'hy'la. It was not a term Spock had thought to ascribe to Jim, but it fit. "It is an archaic Vulcan term for a friendship than transcends simple friendship. T'hy'la can be used in place of the Standard words 'brother', 'friend', and 'lover'."

"Your father is also pleased with your selection of a bondmate."

"Wait, what?" Jim's eyes widened.

Spock cleared his throat. "As I said, Captain, Vulcans do not have casual sex." He should have assumed that discovering Jim and Spock were involved would lead his father to believe Spock had chosen Jim as a bondmate.

Winona tilted her head to the side as if listening to something. "He wants to know if you will wait for the Pon Farr to bond, or if you will do it now."

Jim stared at her. "What?"

Winona smiled gently. "If I were you, I would do it now. The bond is more amazing than you can ever imagine. Before the bond, I liked Sarek and found him interesting, but now that I've bonded with him, he's more intriguing than any science experiment out there. I can reach out and touch his mind with no effort, and you'd think that would make him seem boring, but there's always more to learn about him."

The bond _was_ as awe-inspiring as Winona said, but bonding with Jim was impossible. They were only friends. Spock wanted to bond with someone who loved him. It was, perhaps, not a standard ambition for a Vulcan, but he had seen his mother's love for his father and heard him speak of his love for her. He wanted that connection for himself.

Winona stood up. "Oh, sorry, I'll be right back. Sarek's beaming back up to the ship now because he wants to talk to you in person. I'm going to meet him in the transporter room."

"Um, okay?" Jim waved as his mother walked off. "Why the heck does your father think we are going to bond? I get the t'hy'la thing, but a bond? I don't _do_ commitments like that."

"He is pressuring me to locate a potential bondmate in case I undergo Pon Farr."

"But you won't go through Pon Farr for years yet..." Jim clicked his tongue. "...and he doesn't know that because he doesn't know who Spirk is."

Spirk had decided to keep his identity secret from all but his bondmate, T'pau, and those who had learned of him because of the _Narada_. Spock understood Spirk did not want to affect the timeline too much, but he wished Spirk would reveal himself to Sarek and explain that Spock didn't have to worry about Pon Farr for years.

Spock took a bite of his salad and chewed slowly, using the time to think. "I do not want to take a bondmate at this time, but he wishes I would. If he were to assume that we would bond one day, and we did not correct this faulty assumption, he would cease requesting that I locate a bondmate. I would then be able to locate an actual bondmate on my own terms closer to my first Pon Farr."

Jim poked him in the side, making Spock flinch slightly. "Liar, liar, pants on fire!"

"Not offering the full truth is not lying." Spock firmly believed that a little disambiguation could often help a situation.

Jim took a bite of his cheeseburger, but he didn't stop talking. "You know, my mom was only freaked out by this until she thought we were going to bond. And the way she was talking, she expects to stay bonded to your dad forever. They're both going to have fits if they realize we aren't serious about this."

"Please do not talk with your mouth full," Spock said when Jim paused to drink some water.

Jim rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I think you've got the right idea. Let's play like we're going to get bonded, but we'll say we aren't going to bond until you start Pon Farr. Once we're out of reach of our parents where we won't have to listen to them bitch at us, we can pretend to break up."

Spock considered the suggestion. It was not entirely logical, but it would allow Jim and Spock to continue their casual relationship without censor. Spock's father would also stop pressuring Spock to find a potential bondmate. There were few drawbacks to them pretending they would bond and _many_ drawbacks to confessing they were only together for sex. The rational decision would be to pretend.

"We shall not correct their assumptions then."

Jim grinned. "Liar!"

Spock kicked him under the table, a trick he had learned from Uhura that always shut Jim up. He aimed for the spot he had kicked earlier that morning when Jim nearly exposed Spirk's secret to the entire meeting room. Jim yelped and pulled away.

"Damn it, do you have to do that?"

Spock noticed his father and Winona entering the room. "Our parents have arrived."

"Alright, time to act all lovey-dovey. Too bad we can't cue some romantic music in here." Jim winked, then turned back to his food. Spock followed suit. Normalcy and evasion were the key points to fulfilling their plan.

When Sarek and Winona took seats at their table, Spock and Jim glanced at each other, then turned to meet their parent's gazes. The plan was now in action.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Spock took his seat in the officers' mess on Jim's right. The other officers fell into seats around them, sitting according to rank. Scotty sat to Jim's left, McCoy took the seat across the table from Jim, Uhura sat to the left of McCoy, and Lieutenant Commander Giotto, as Head of Security, sat on McCoy's right. Spock was surprised to see the addition of Robert Nelson at one end of the table.

Jim called the group to attention with a peppy, "Good morning, crew!" Most of the group chorused good mornings back at Jim. "Alright, let's get down to business. We've been working on New Vulcan for two days. What have we learned at this point?"

"That all Vulcans are pointy eared bastards, not just Spock over there," grumbled McCoy.

Jim wagged a finger at McCoy. "You know what the Cultural Liaison said about prejudice, Bones."

McCoy rolled his eyes. "Come on, Jim, you know—"

Jim cut him off. "No, I don't know. Prejudice is not permitted onboard my ship. If you're having a personal problem with one or two people, that's fine, but don't hate a whole species because of them."

McCoy nodded. "Yes, sir." He frowned down at the table in front of him.

Spock felt like reaching out and squeezing Jim's hand in gratitude for defending Spock and his species even though it meant rebuking a friend. He would have, too, if they weren't in a command situation.

Jim winked at McCoy. "Now, if you want to call Spock a pointy eared bastard, I don't really care."

Never mind. Spock had passed judgment too soon.

McCoy rolled his eyes but smiled. "Yes, sir. Anyway, aside from finding out that a few of Spock's brethren are also pointy eared bastards, we've discovered that there is next to no data about Pon Farr available. What Spirk told us in that first meeting was the sum total."

Jim tapped the handle of his fork against the table, something Spock saw him do often when he was thinking. "Continue."

"Now that we know what we know, we've started a full scale study of the phenomena. We're comparing the normal patterns of Vulcan heart rate, hormone levels, and so on to the levels of a Vulcan entering Pon Farr, one who is actively in the 'blood fever' state of Pon Farr, as they call it, and one who has just finished Pon Farr. There have been no specific discoveries made yet."

Jim's fork stilled. "I'll continue to divert all available biological science and medical personnel to the investigation then. Scotty, report."

Scotty paused with a fork of hash-browns halfway to his mouth. "Aye, Captain. Progress is being made on the water and drainage system of the outlying regions of the city and we are helping complete new homes for the people who are living in the city barracks. Current population in the barracks is six thousand and seven hundred people. Families are being given precedence and we should have homes for approximately fifteen hundred people built by the end of next week."

"Excellent! Spock?"

Spock set aside the bite he had been about to take. "The physical science team is working on mapping the planet and the surrounding star system in greater detail. They have taken shuttlepods to the nearby planets to examine potential resources and are not expected back for nine days. I remain as the sole member of the team to serve as a liaison between the ship, planet, and shuttlepods."

Jim nodded absentmindedly. He and Spock had already discussed Spock's team, but the orders had been reported again for everyone else's benefit. "Okay. Uhura?"

"Construction of a communications and information relay system within the city is underway. My people have taken the places of Vulcan scientists to aid in building the relay. We have begun to make progress, especially in regards to making the system multi-language compatible." Uhura gave Jim a smug smile at that. "Results are expected to remain steady as we continue working, but the system will not be completed for months."

Jim's fork began tapping again. "Good. Cupcake?"

Giotto snarled just a bit. "My name is Michael Giotto, Captain."

"I know that." Jim pointed the fork at Giotto. "But you are not going to get called by name until you prove I can trust you after Boldun. Until then, you're still the same Cupcake I met in a bar in Iowa."

An unorthodox method of punishment, but it seemed to work. Giotto quelled his anger and gave a straightforward report. "Security has been drafted by T'Pella to assist with manual labor for Engineering, in drafting protective codes for the relay network for Communications, and in running errands for the Science and Medical teams. I feel that our talents are being wasted, but I recognize that Vulcan is peaceful and has little need for a Security team."

Jim's fork came up to tap his chin. "I know most of you are crosstrained in at least one other area. I'll try to get your people assigned at least part-time to more meaningful work."

Giotto blinked rapidly. "I... thank you, Captain. It'll help morale a lot."

Jim waved away the gratitude with a sweep of his fork that came dangerously near to Spock's eye. With a gentle tug, Spock pulled the fork from Jim's hand—for safety reasons, of course, and not because the fork's movements had been distracting.

"No problem, Cupcake. Alright, Ensign Nelson, you're next. I understand your field of study is xenobiology with a focus on reproduction. Since you were cleared for duty last night, I'm going to pair you up with Dr. McCoy and see if you can't give him a hand in figuring this out. McCoy will be in charge of the investigation, but you'll be directly under him in the chain of command."

Nelson nodded quickly. "Thank you, sir! I know I'll be able to help."

"I'm sure you will." Jim surveyed the group. "I like the progress we are making. We're more out-of-touch than I like while on planet, and I want everyone to have a chance to keep up with what the other groups are doing, so we'll meet for breakfast daily from now on." Jim took his fork back from Spock. "Meeting adjourned. Eat up, and then head off to wherever you need to go."

Most of the officers had eaten while everyone else was talking, and they fled at Jim's dismissal. Nelson remained at his end of the table, eating his cereal and milk slowly.

Jim stabbed his fork into a sausage and ate it with relish. He moaned in delight. "Spock, you have no idea what you are missing. It's just not breakfast until you've had at least one sausage link. Sure you don't want a bite?"

Spock found his own bowl of fruit much more appealing. "Thank you, Captain, but I am content with my own food."

Jim shrugged. "If you say so. What have you got in there, oranges and blueberries?"

"They are pla-savas, a citrus fruit, and sash-savas, a sweet, blue fruit."

"So... Vulcan oranges and blueberries?"

Jim would not be satisfied until he received confirmation that he was correct. "Essentially, yes," Spock said.

"I knew it!" Jim reached over and stole a sash-savas. "Are you ready for our first day of getting down and dirty?"

"I do not believe we will get dirty while assisting with scientific research," Spock said. He was amused to see Jim sigh. In truth, there were still idioms that Spock did not understand, but for the most part, he just enjoyed annoying Jim.

"What'll it take to convince you stop pretending that you don't understand?" Jim asked.

"Pretending?" Nelson piped up.

Jim glanced over at Nelson. "I forgot you were there." Nelson ducked his head and stared down into his cereal bowl. "Don't let them fool you. Vulcans are just as smart as they say they are, so they can definitely understand slang if they're exposed to it in context. Well, most slang anyway." He grinned at Spock. "Sometimes things like 'cat got your tongue?' or 'let's do the horizontal tango' are a little too colloquial for them."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I do know what is meant by 'the horizontal tango', Captain."

Jim's grin grew. "I really have corrupted you, haven't I?"

Nelson lifted his head to look at them. "Sorry for interrupting, Captain. I just... you're going to work with the biological science team today, right, sir? I thought I'd wait and beam down with you so I wouldn't have to go alone. Um, if that's alright with you, sir."

Jim ate another sausage link. "That's fine."

"Thank you, sir."

"What's with all the 'sir's and 'Captain's?" Jim asked. He lowered his fork.

"My first assignment was on the _Trellis_, sir. Aside from at the Academy, I've never been expected to follow proper Starfleet protocols. I'm not sure how to act, exactly, and I want to get it right." He smiled. "I like it here on the _Enterprise_ and I'm hoping I'll be assigned here permanently."

Jim pointed his fork at Nelson. "Now that's what I want to hear! Confidence! Don't worry about how you talk to superiors so much. Just be polite and confident and do your work well, and I'll be sure to recommend you for an assignment onboard."

Nelson straightened up in his seat. "Thank you!"

Six months ago, Jim would not have noticed Nelson's nervousness. The fact that he had and that he had soothed it so completely spoke to the fact that Jim had grown into his position as captain in the past year. Spock had watched from the sidelines, uncertain in his own position at times, but willing to aid Jim when necessary. Those times were far and few now.

Jim ate his last sausage and grabbed the last piece of sash-savas from Spock's bowl. "I'm full. Are you two ready to go?"

And even though Jim had matured in his job, he still acted like an overgrown teenager in private. "As you have finished my meal for me, _yet again_, I am ready."

Jim rose and clapped Spock on the shoulder. "See? I'm so helpful, I can't even stand it." He carried his empty plates to the depository.

"Neither can I." Spock added his dishes to the pile in the depository and stepped aside to allow Nelson to do the same.

They travelled to the transporter room together and waited for the groups in front of them to beam down. It was the start of a new day of work, and nearly everyone on the ship needed to beam to the planet, so it took a few minutes for them to reach the pad. They stepped on and a few other people joined them before the ensign at the controls energized them.

They arrived on the fringes of the city, where the beginnings of a new Vulcan Science Academy were being built. The new hospital was located two blocks from the academy, making it the optimal place to do research even though only two of the academy's buildings were useable. Spock was still unused to the appearance of New Vulcan. It's dusty red sands were very similar to Vulcan's, but New Vulcan had few mountains and no active volcanoes. It was an older and drier planet, and the passage of time had worn most of the planet flat. Spock missed the red peaks of Vulcan's mountains.

Jim led the way to the building being used by the biological research teams. The other building was being shared by the physical science and city planning teams. Inside of the building, Jim kept walking until he reached the auditorium, which was filled with people. Men and women filled the audience seats and doctors and scientists were working on the stage. Every few seconds a Vulcan would step off of the stage and another Vulcan would step onto it. He or she was then sent through the line of doctors and scientists, being prodded and scanned and questioned as they moved along fluidly and rapidly. It looked like a bizarre ballet.

Jim strode right on up to the stage and to where McCoy was scanning a Vulcan woman. "Hey, Bones, what can we do to help?"

McCoy glanced up from his tricorder. "Oh, Jim, your mother's in charge of non-scientific staff. Go bother her. Ensign Nelson, you can stick with me for a while. Maybe you'll see something in these readings that I'm not."

Nelson stepped forward and eagerly picked up another tricorder. Jim headed off in another direction and Spock followed along. He spent a lot of time following Jim, but he didn't mind. Jim always seemed to lead him to new things that Spock would never had discovered on his own.

They found Winona on the left side of the stage where people were being admitted to the lines onstage. She had a PADD in one hand and a stylus in the other, and she was asking the Vulcans questions and scribbling down their answers.

Jim waited until she finished speaking with a male Vulcan to tap her on the shoulder. "Morning!"

She turned around and smiled at him. "Oh, good morning, Jimmy. What do you need?"

"We're here to help. Bones said you were in charge."

Winona handed each of them a PADD. "We've started a database of information about the Vulcans. Just open up a new file in the database, ask the Vulcan you're working with the questions on the screen, and then save the file. Let them know that the computer will randomize a case number for them and that after today, no one will know what data is theirs, so they can be frank with you." She gestured out at the crowd. "Now go pick a Vulcan to torture. We've got over ten thousand to get through as quickly as possible."

Spock and Jim moved down the line and started interviewing Vulcans. The questions were rather intrusive, but Spock watched each of his fellow Vulcans fight off the uneasiness that came with discussing personal information. Such was the power of logic that they could overcome embarrassment to help with the investigation.

The questions were the same for each person. What is your name? Birth date? Gender? Place of origin? Mother's clan? Father's clan? Medical history? When did have your first Pon Farr? If male, was it natural? If female, was it caused by your bondmate or an outside influence? Have your Pon Farrs followed the traditional seven year cycle? When was your last Pon Farr? Are you currently experiencing the effects of Pon Farr? Have you ever had a bondmate? Do you currently have a bondmate? Did you bond prior to or during a Pon Farr? Describe how Pon Farr affects you. Describe how Pon Farr affects your bondmate. And so the list continued for two pages.

By 1200 hours, everyone in the room had been processed. Spock relinquished his PADD to Winona gratefully.

"Worn out, are you?" Winona asked.

Spock inclined his head in agreement. "Repetition is wearisome."

She patted him on the shoulder. Her pinky finger brushed his neck, and he got a small sense of her emotions. There was exhaustion, of course, but underneath that he was somewhat disturbed to sense the same baseline lust that Jim carried around. It was with morbid amusement that Spock wondered how Sarek could handle their bond being constantly flooded with lust. Jim's lust was enough to drive Spock insane, and he only had to feel it when he was touching Jim.

Winona drew her hand back. "Are you ready to get some lunch? Jim ran off a little bit ago, but he promised to meet me in the mess hall."

Spock did not mind being around Winona, but he still remembered her walking in on him and Jim. Spending time in her presence was vaguely embarrassing now. "I do not wish to interrupt your time with your son," he offered for an excuse.

Winona didn't seem to accept excuses. "You won't be interrupting. You're my son now, too."

"I do not..." Spock paused to gather his thoughts. "I do not mind that you consider me as such, but I am afraid that I may never return the sentiment. I have only one mother."

Winona reached up to touch Spock's cheek. Spock wanted to step away from her, but he held himself in place. The touch was vaguely inappropriate for such a public place. Spock glanced around, but no one was paying any attention to them. Finally, he registered Winona's emotions again. He was shocked to feel an almost motherly affection coming from her.

"I don't want to be your mother, darling." She stared up at him with big blue eyes, so very like Jim's. Spock had to look away. "I've seen your father's memories. Amanda was an amazing woman, and I could never replace her, even if I wanted to."

"I miss her," Spock admitted softly. There was something about Winona that made her easy to talk to. He didn't feel disgusted with himself for admitting to her that he had emotions.

Winona smiled and patted him on the cheek before letting her hand slip away. "I understand, and that's why I don't want to be your mother." Her smile widened. "I would much rather be your mother-in-law."

Perhaps it was that Spock could see Jim in Winona that made it possible for him to relate to her. Like Jim, she seemed to rely on humor in potentially emotional situations. It was so foreign to the way Spock was raised to approach emotions that he found it intriguing.

"In that case," Spock said, "I believe I will join you and Jim for lunch."

Winona hooked her arm around Spock's. "Let's go then. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" She pulled him out of the room and then out of the building entirely.

"I have never understood that idiom." Spock allowed Winona to drag him towards the transporter beam-up coordinates. "It is my understanding that there are few Terran cultures in which it is permissible to eat horses. Also, I am uncertain as to whether the idiom refers to eating a whole horse or merely the more palatable parts."

Winona's laughter rang out in the nearly empty street. "Don't think about it so much. I think Humans just picked the biggest animal they saw in their day to day lives. And I think it implies eating the whole horse, but I haven't really a clue. Linguistics was never my forte."

Linguistics, particularly of Earth languages, was something Spock had studied exhaustively, but he had never come to a conclusion about the meanings of most idioms. From what he had discussed with Uhura, even Humans didn't understand the idioms that they used. It seemed strange and illogical to use phrases which one could not define, but then, Humans were strange and illogical themselves.

They arrived at the location where all beaming was to occur to lessen the chance of transporter accidents, and Spock turned on his communicator. "Spock to _Enterprise_. Two to beam up."

"Energizing," someone answered and they were quickly beamed aboard.

On board the ship, Winona kept hold of Spock's arm, pulling him through the corridors like a recalcitrant child. In the mess hall, she let go of his arm while they got their food, but she waited for him before proceeding to the table where Jim was sitting.

Jim looked up from a PADD. "Hey, Mom, Spock." He returned to the PADD

Spock took a seat. "Captain." He began to set up his tray in the order he preferred when eating.

Winona set down her tray and put her hands on her hips. "Are the two of you fighting?"

Jim and Spock looked at her. "What?" Jim asked.

"Yesterday the two of you worked on completely different projects, and I know from Sarek that neither of you saw each other all day. Then this morning, I didn't see you talk to each other once! And now, you barely look at each other and only offer these stiff little greetings." She threw up her hands up in the air. "Even Sarek shows more emotion than that, and he still thinks he can get out of our bond!"

Spock cringed, grateful that most of the crew was still on the planet and that no one was close enough to hear Winona's outburst. Spock glanced at Jim, only to find him looking back at Spock. Jim shook his head and then stretched out his hand on the table. Spock took it to reassure Winona that they were in a relationship. He didn't mind the extra contact at all. He had permission to reach for Jim's emotions when Jim touched him, and he enjoyed letting them thrum through him in a way he could never allow himself to experience his own emotions.

Jim smiled up at his mother. "See, Mom, we're fine. It's just that we're in command positions, and we can't just make-out every time we see each other. Most of the ship doesn't even know we're together yet."

Winona settled into her seat at last, and Jim released Spock's hand. Spock almost reached out to capture it again, but he stopped himself, knowing that they were in a public area.

"Sorry," Winona said. "I just worry about you. I've never seen you in such a serious relationship before, Jim, and I guess I'm waiting for the ball to drop and my new family to fall to pieces."

Jim picked up his PADD again. "Well, stop worrying. Spock and I are t'hy'la, right? We're stuck with each other." He waved the PADD at them. "And I've got to get these reports completed and sent off to Starfleet before thirteen hundred hours, so I'm going to have to ignore you for a bit." He winked at Spock. "I can't play the devote boyfriend right now."

"I understand. Please proceed." Spock waited for Jim to settle in with the PADD and then turned to Winona. "It is my impression that Human mothers take great delight in embarrassing their children. I would be amenable to hearing stories about Jim's childhood if you should wish to participate in this ritual."

Winona burst into laughter and Jim shot them both dirty looks over his PADD. "I'm going to go pester Sarek for your humiliating stories, Spock."

"That would be an impossible task as Vulcans do not experience humiliation," Spock replied. He kept his voice as dry as possible and was rewarded with more laughter from Winona and an eye-roll from Jim.

The conversation did indeed turn to stories of Jim's childhood, but Winona refrained from embarrassing him too badly. Spock was glad to see that her worries that he and Jim would break up seemed to disappear as they ate. Using humor to avoid an emotional situation apparently also worked to Spock's benefit.

* * *

Sarek met Winona for dinner in the mess after not seeing her all day, and he was surprised by a sudden urge to sweep her into his arms when she waved to him from across the room. He refrained, instead retrieving food and drink and then proceeding to the table. After he had taken his seat, he did acquiesce slightly to the urge, holding out two fingers to Winona.

She returned the kiss and then interlaced her fingers with Sarek's, pulling their connected hands down to rest on the table. "How was your day?"

"It was productive. We have now catalogued two-thousand Vulcan men and women and potential patterns seem to be emerging, particularly regarding how hormones and certain chemicals previously thought to pertain only to puberty seem to affect the Vulcan biology."

She smiled and squeezed his hands. "Good. Hopefully we'll keep making progress and figure this out before everyone has to go through it. Though, I really don't think it's as big a deal as you Vulcans make it out to be. I _liked_ Pon Farr, rather a lot."

Through the bond, she threw him an image of her on top of him, pressing his erection inside of her. It was followed by a wave of lust that was tinged in laughter.

Sarek tried to tug his hand from hers, but she wouldn't let him escape. "I wish you would not send me such thoughts in public."

"Then perhaps we should take this somewhere private?" Winona said in a low tone.

It had been three days since Pon Farr ended—three days in which they had not engaged in coitus. Sarek felt the stirrings of arousal within himself, but he squashed them. "I do not believe it is appropriate for us to engage in sexual relations since we plan to nullify the bond."

Winona pulled her hand away from his. "Fine," she muttered, then she returned to eating her food. She did not look up from her plate.

Sarek felt gently along the bond, but she shut him out, erecting a wall between them. She had never shut down the bond before, and Sarek didn't understand why she had done so now. He prodded at the wall, but it didn't move. It was odd, being alone in his head. He had gotten used to having a bond again, and not being able to reach her made him feel... lonely. "Winona?"

She glared at him. "No, I'm not letting you in. I'm trying to make this relationship work, and all you can think of is how long you have left till you can get rid of me."

"It is not like that. It is simply illogical for me—"

Winona held up a hand. "You can take your logic and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. I'm done trying. Goodnight, Sarek." She stood, taking her tray with her, and stomped off.

Sarek stared down at his full tray for a minute, then stood and followed her. He caught up with her in the corridor outside of their rooms. She was about to enter the room of their suite that neither of them slept in, and he stopped her by grabbing her wrist. "Winona." Through the contact, he could feel a loneliness that matched his own.

She spun to look at him. There were tears in her eyes. "I was so lonely, for so many years." Her words spilled out as her tears did. "George died. I could never love Frank, no matter how hard I tried. I didn't know how to relate to my boys. All I had were my science experiments. Then the _Trellis_ imploded and I thought I had lost everything." She took a shuddering breath. "And then you were there, a calm in the storm, supporting me even before the bond. I thought you were interesting, but I knew you had just lost Amanda. There was no hope for me and you, so I pushed thoughts of that aside."

Sarek released her wrist and moved to embrace her. "Winona." He held her close, uncertain as to what else he could say.

Winona kept talking. "And then you told me you were dying, and I couldn't let that happen because you were such a strong, interesting person. And when you told me how I could save you I was even a little happy because I thought maybe, just maybe, I would have a chance to get to know you better and maybe you would start to like me. And then we bonded, and I wasn't alone anymore. I wasn't lonely! And I loved that feeling, that you were there with me."

She pulled herself out of his embrace. "I do not know..." Sarek started, but he did not finish. He didn't know how to finish.

Winona wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I know you don't. Your heart is still full of Amanda. There's no room for me." She took a step backwards, away from Sarek. "I'll stick around for the three months, and then I'll get out of your hair. We can keep the bond closed off and pretend we're total strangers." She turned to her door and entered the key code. "Goodnight."

She stepped inside the room, and before the door could slide closed, Sarek followed her. Once he was in the room, he couldn't have said why he had entered. Wasn't that exactly what he wanted? To break the bond and take a Vulcan bondmate? But he didn't want to let Winona go.

She retreated across the room, leaving Sarek standing by the door. The distance between them seemed unsurpassable, but Sarek would make an attempt to reach her. "There was no room in my heart when we first bonded, but you have made a place for yourself in me."

"I thought Vulcans didn't lie." Winona crossed her arms and hugged herself tightly.

"We cannot lie." Sarek took a step forward. "I do not know why, but I like you. Your illogic is attractive. I want to be around you. When I did not see you today, I wished to go to you immediately in the mess." He took another step. "I do not understand myself. I thought I loved Amanda."

Winona shrugged. "You do love her. I can feel it inside of you."

"Then why do I not want to break the bond?" Sarek took a step back. He retreated. There was too much emotion inside of him. He needed to meditate. He needed to regain the control that Winona's tears had stripped from him.

He halted in his retreat when Winona took a step forward. "Do you really want to stay bonded?"

Sarek's stomach twisted. "I should not want to be bonded with a Human who is not Amanda."

"And yet you do want it." Winona took two steps forward. "You want me."

Sarek steeled himself. "I do." He took a step forward and abandoned himself to the situation. What would happen, would happen.

Winona flung herself at him. The bond flew open between them and that aching loneliness inside of him was filled with her. Sarek tilted her face up and kissed her deeply.

_I do not love you._ Sarek did not want to admit that and hurt her, but he could not let Winona think there was more to his feelings than what actually existed.

Winona's hands came up to his chest and reached for the fastenings on his robes. _I know. I don't love you either. But I think we can love each other someday, and I want to try._ She undid the clasp that held his robe together and the whole thing slid down his body to the floor. _Will you try?_

_I will._

Winona finished stripping Sarek and then pulled off her own clothes. She grabbed his hand, pulling him over to the bed and then onto it. Her gentle hand quickly coaxed him to an erection, and then he buried himself inside of her. What happened after that was a blur.

The rest of his memories were mere flashes. He could remember the smell of her hair, like wild violets he had once smelled on Earth. He could taste the salt of her skin on his tongue and feel the velvety softness of her underneath him. He could hear her breathy moans in his ears, the high pitched squeak she made when he hit a certain spot inside her. He could see her flushed skin, the dusky rose that spread to her chest and entranced him.

One bright moment stood out to him through the fog. After they cleaned up, they crawled under the covers. Winona settled herself against Sarek and fell into a deep sleep as soon as her eyes closed. Sarek stayed up and watched her for a while, letting the gentle press of her emotions in his mind lull him slowly to sleep. Just before Sarek himself fell asleep, Winona's emotions brightened suddenly, happiness overflowing into him. He slid into the bond without thinking. He found himself observing her dream, which was of the two of them, lying in bed, talking.

Sarek knew then that he had made the right choice. He loved Amanda, but she was dead. She understood emotions and she understood Sarek. Amanda would be happy if he was happy. And lying there in bed with Winona, he felt happier than he had since Amanda died. He didn't want to let that happiness go.

He closed his eyes and started to fall asleep. Just before he lost consciousness, he was amused to note that Winona had decorated the bedding in her dream with little sheep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Jim looked around the table. "We've been working on New Vulcan for six days now. Updates?"

"Science teams have been reporting back with adequate data," Spock said.

Scotty leaned forward in his seat. "Engineering is ahead of schedule. We finished all the houses we were working on and have started a new batch."

"The communications relay is proceeding as planned," Uhura said.

"Security has been reassigned to specific teams and I've heard no complaints from my people or their supervisors." Giotto paused then added, "Thank you for getting us assigned to more important tasks."

"No problem. Bones? Nelson? What's happening with your research?"

Nelson and McCoy both shook their heads. "We've got nothing, Jim," McCoy said. "We finished our database of Vulcans two days ago, but we haven't found any particular patterns in the research yet."

"All we know is that men are experiencing Pon Farr and they shouldn't be." Nelson bit his lower lip for a second. "Previously, almost all men on Vulcan experienced Pon Farr within the same one year period, and this period occurred in seven year intervals. There were some who fell out of that range, of course, but these were mostly Vulcans who traveled in space a lot and it was thought that the disruption of their circadian rhythms caused the changes in cycle."

Jim propped his chin up on his hand, narrowly missing planting his elbow in his eggs. "But now you know it's not a circadian thing?"

"That's just it, we don't know." McCoy shifted and crossed his arms. "New Vulcan's planetary rotation and revolution are almost exactly the same as the planetary movement was on Old Vulcan. That was part of the reason this planet was chosen. The days are seventeen minutes shorter and the year is three days longer, but it shouldn't be enough of a change to impact an entire race, especially not this quickly."

"And it's happening very quickly." Nelson sat up in his seat, tensing slightly. "In the month since this started, nearly one thousand men have gone through Pon Farr. In the first week, only one hundred and thirteen men underwent Pon Farr. Last week, four hundred and fifty-three underwent it."

Jim whistled lowly. "It's getting faster."

Nelson nodded. "If it keeps progressing at this rate, every Vulcan man will have undergone Pon Farr within the next five weeks."

Spock ran through some calculations. "Given the information I have, it appears that every Vulcan woman will thus have bonded to a male Vulcan within the next three weeks."

McCoy scowled. "Exactly. If we can't figure this out in three weeks, a sixth of the population will be left without bondmates and will die."

Jim smacked a hand on the table. "Why the fuck are there so few Vulcan women?" He turned to Spock. "Did they just happen to save a bunch of all-male colleges or something?"

Spock shook his head. "Pon Farr occurred approximately one year prior to the _Narada's _ attack for most adult Vulcan men. Pon Farr increases the likelihood of pregnancy and thus a large percentage of the female population was pregnant or had recently given birth when Vulcan was attacked. Women and children were given precedence in the evacuation of Vulcan because of the low numbers of them on starships as men had replaced many of the women on maternity leave, but very few ships were launched from the planet before it imploded." Spock wished there had been more warning. There had been enough shuttlepods on planet to get at least a million Vulcans into space had there been more time. A million more Vulcans would have made the population far more stable.

"I wonder if Nero knew that would happen." Jim snorted. "He probably did. I bet the bastard got a kick out of killing other men's wives and children just because his wife and kid died."

"I wouldn't put it past him," McCoy growled.

Uhura sighed. "That's so depressing."

"Aye." Scotty shook his head. "Those poor wee babes."

Nelson sat back in his seat. "So we've got three weeks to keep another tragedy from happening and destroying what little happiness these people have found." He glanced over at Spock. "Not that Vulcans feel happiness, but..."

Jim chuckled. "We know what you mean." He pushed his chair back from the table and stood. "Alright, meeting adjourned. Hopefully we'll figure something out today."

Everyone hurried out of the room. Spock followed Jim to his room. They were going to go down later that day and work with some of the afternoon crews, so they had the morning to work on paperwork and planning. In his bedroom, Jim collapsed onto his bed with a sigh.

"I feel like we're failing." The pillow under his face muffled his words

Spock took a seat on the edge of the bed and laid a hand on Jim's back. He rubbed it gently, soothing Jim as Spock's mother had often done for him. "We will figure this out."

Jim turned his head to the side so he could speak clearly. "But will we figure it out soon enough, or are people going to die because of this?"

"People may die." Spock wouldn't lie, not about this. He needed to face the truth for his own sake, as well. "But finding the answers is not your responsibility." He trailed his hand up Jim's back until he could touch the bare skin of Jim's neck. As he had suspected, Jim was full of anxiety and guilt.

Jim rolled over under Spock's hand. Spock waited for Jim to settle and then let his hand rest on Jim's heart. He couldn't feel the subtle thump through Jim's clothes, so he let his hand drift to Jim's neck instead, resting two fingers on the carotid pulse point. Jim's pulse and emotions buzzed under Spock's hand.

Jim sighed, his chest rising and falling with the rush of air. "I know it's not my responsibility, but I volunteered my crew to help. I cracked open your social taboos and made you all talk about something so personal to you. If we can't find the answer, I'll have destroyed more than I've saved."

"Vulcans are not always right." Spock ran his fingertips across Jim's face, smoothing out the lines worry had creased into it. Jim's eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into the touch. "Humans overcame their societal taboos regarding sex before they even developed a warp drive. Vulcans have had warp for thousands of years, and yet we can't speak of a simple biological imperative. If nothing else, this epidemic has opened our eyes to a need we previously ignored. _You_ have opened our eyes to the need to speak about this."

Jim pressed a kiss into Spock's palm. "You always know what to say." His eyes fluttered open as he sat up.

"You always know what to do," Spock replied. It was what made them a good command team. They balanced each other.

"And I know just what to do right now." Jim leaned forward and captured Spock's lips in a kiss. His anxiety and guilt began to fade into lust.

Spock pulled away from the kiss. "We need to complete the requisition forms, Captain."

Jim wrapped a hand around the back of Spock's neck and pulled him closer, until their foreheads were pressed together. "I've got some emotions I wanna ignore for a while. This is my meditation. Humor me?"

How could Spock say no to that? "Very well."

Jim tilted his head and pressed his lips to Spock. It was a gentler kiss than Spock was used to receiving from Jim, but it fit the solemn mood that filled the room. Spock responded in the same way, allowing Jim to lead the kiss. Jim kept it shallow, nibbling and sucking on Spock's lips but not demanding entrance to his mouth.

As they kissed, Spock pressed Jim back onto the bed. He lay halfway on top of Jim and trailed his hands along Jim's body. When his hands slid from skin to clothes, he lost a little of his connection with Jim's emotions. Frustrated by the loss, he pulled back long enough to tug off Jim's shirt and then returned to kissing him. He let his hands roam freely across the newly visible skin of Jim's chest.

They kissed for a long time before Jim began to tug at Spock's clothing. They moved apart to undress, but as soon as their clothes had been removed, they dove back into the kiss. Spock felt like he was suffocating from not enough air and too much Jim. The press of Jim's emotions made his stomach churn with Jim's anxiety and his heart race with Jim's arousal and his lungs tighten with Jim's guilt. None of his previous partners' emotions had ever filled him so fully. It was intoxicating and Spock wanted more.

He moved his fingers to Jim's face and settled them on the meld points. Jim broke their kiss with a gasp. "Spock?"

"I want to feel your emotions. I want to feel you."

Jim swallowed hard and then nodded. "Okay."

Spock entered Jim's mind slowly. The only time they had shared a meld before had been to save Jim's life at Boldun, and it had been a painful experience for both of them. He didn't want to hurt Jim now.

He fell into the first layer of Jim's mind softly. Jim's surface emotions swirled around Spock, swirled _into_ him. A new anxiety arose in Jim's mind threading through his arousal.

"I will not go farther," Spoke said aloud. This level of the meld did not allow for communication of words, only emotions and perceptions. "Do not worry."

The new anxiety slipped from Jim's mind. Carefully keeping his hand in place, Spock began to kiss Jim again. The feel of his lips against his own lips shocked him and he pulled back.

Jim looked up at him with wide eyes. "It feels like I'm kissing you and I'm kissing me. Is that normal?"

"I do not know. I have never attempted a meld during sex before." Experimenting with the sensation, he traced Jim's jaw with the fingers of his free hand. A ghostly hand touched his own cheek. "It is a duality of sensations. I feel what you feel as well as what I feel."

Jim closed his eyes. He reached up and ran a finger across the tip of Spock's ear. Spock shuddered at the sensation, and Jim moaned. "I can feel your emotions. Lust, lust, lust." A tingle on the surface of Spock's mind was Jim reaching out through the meld. "Some affection, sadness, but mostly lust." He wriggled under Spock, thrusting his hips up. "It's making me hot."

"Now you know what I experience every time you touch me." Spock bent his head down and kissed Jim again. This time, he was prepared for the onslaught of sensations and he allowed them to wash over him. Jim moaned and shifted underneath him and Spock deepened the kiss, pressing his tongue into Jim's mouth and exploring it. Every jolt that Spock felt, Jim felt, and every spark that ran through Jim, ran through Spock.

Their movements were slow and steady, but the arousal moved back and forth between them, multiplying with each pass through the meld. Spock pressed deeper into the meld without meaning to and a flash of pleasure shot through both of them. Spock could now feel nearly everything that Jim felt. He could feel Jim's heart beat fluttering high in his chest while his own heart beat raced lower, below his lungs. He could feel Jim grow closer and closer to the edge of climax, and as he felt Jim's muscles clench in preparation for release, his own body tensed in sympathy.

And when Jim suddenly gasped and climaxed, his orgasm burst through the meld, burning Spock up from the inside out. Emotions and sensations overwhelmed him and everything went white. Spock burst into fragments. His control disappeared as if it had never existed.

After a few seconds, Jim's orgasm ended and Spock was able to focus on the world around him again. He withdrew from the meld and was shocked to discover he had climaxed without realizing it. Spock collapsed next to Jim on the bed and spent some time just breathing.

"Now I know why Mom wants to stay bonded," Jim murmured. "I have _never_ had sex like that before."

Spock took a deep breath but he was too busy processing to respond. He had thought the bond was amazing when all he could sense was T'Pring's thoughts. A full bond would let him feel how his partner felt, what they were thinking, and all of their emotions every time they had sex. Spock could hardly comprehend it.

Jim shifted next to him. "Spock? Are you alive?"

Spock shook his head to try to clear it. "I am... I don't..." He couldn't put his thoughts into words. Emotions swirled inside of him and pleasure thrummed through his nerves, throwing him off-balance.

Jim snickered. "Shit. I broke you."

Spock smacked him in the stomach. When he was in a childish mood, the only thing that seemed to get through to Jim was similarly juvenile actions. "I am not broken, merely thinking."

"Well, while you're thinking, I'm going to take a shower." Jim climbed over Spock and out of the bed. He paused on his way to the bathroom. "I'd invite you to join me, but I don't think I'll be able to come again for... oh, at least a couple hours after that."

Spock didn't know if he would ever be able to climax again. Contrary to his prior statement, he did feel a bit broken. "Go shower. I will take mine when you are done." Jim disappeared into the bathroom, and Spock took another minute to breathe, trying to pull himself together.

Sex had never felt like that before. Spock wondered if it would feel like that with someone else, or if only Jim's mind would break him open and leave bits of him strewn everywhere. Surely when Spock found a bondmate he loved, there would be just as much emotion between them, if not more, but the idea that it could be possible to have even more emotion was incomprehensible.

Maybe it was just the force of Jim's emotions that made the melded sex so powerful. Normal bonded copulation would probably be calmer, less destructive. Spock would be able to control his emotions better with someone less explosive.

Illogically, Spock hoped that his reasoning was faulty. Jim may have broken him, but something deep inside of Spock felt like it had been completed for the first time in his life. How could a bond ever be whole if he could never feel this again?

* * *

Sarek stared at the data in front of him. There had to be something there. He just couldn't see it.

The door of the conference room burst open and McCoy strode in. "What do we know about the sun on Vulcan and the sun on New Vulcan?"

Torek, a Vulcan scientist, looked up from his computer screen. "Your query is too general. Both suns have been studied in-depth and more knowledge about them is available than can be recited in a general verbal answer."

McCoy crossed his arms. "I didn't mean tell me everything, and you know it!"

"I did indeed believe that you expected a full answer." Torek inclined his head to the side. "What exactly did you wish to know?"

Robert entered the room quietly. "I could hear you halfway down the hall, Doctor McCoy." He moved to Torek's side. "We want to know how the two suns each influence Vulcan circadian rhythms."

Torek nodded. "The circadian rhythms created by the sun on Vulcan supported a twenty-four hour daily cycle. The more habitable parts of the planet received, on average, eighteen hours of direct sunlight a day. When left to sleep and rise on their own, a Vulcan will sleep for the six hours of darkness and stay awake for the eighteen—"

"No," McCoy cut him off. "Tell me how the sun was connected to Pon Farr."

Torek glanced at Sarek. "I believe you have more knowledge of physical science than I."

Sarek put down his data PADD. He did not know where McCoy was going with this, but he would attempt to answer the question. "It was believed that the seven year cycle of Pon Farr is connected with the solar activity of Vulcan's sun. Vulcans evolved to experience Pon Farr when the radiation levels were highest so that when the levels lowered, Vulcan women would be pregnant and infants would be born into an environment with very little radiation. This has been proven incorrect, however, as the seven year cycle is purely biological. There are a number of men who naturally experience Pon Farr at times outside of the cycle."

McCoy shook his head. "What if it isn't biological?" He began to pace around the room. "What if the sun's high levels of radiation are what is causing Pon Farr?"

"New Vulcan's sun's radiation levels are equivalent to the moderate radiation levels on Vulcan. The levels neither go as low or as high as they did on Vulcan." Sarek shook his head and picked up his PADD again. "If it were caused by the high levels of radiation, then it would be impossible to experience Pon Farr on New Vulcan because the radiation would never reach high enough levels." Sarek returned to his data aggregation.

McCoy continued to pace around the room, distracting Sarek. "I'm not sure about that. Nelson, why don't you are Torek look at the data on the suns' radiation and see if you can find any correlations?"

Robert nodded. "Sure. It's better than just staring at the same data for hours on end."

Sarek looked at the PADD he had been reading repeatedly since the prior day. He set the PADD aside. "May I ask what instigated this line of questioning?" he asked McCoy.

McCoy paused in his pace. "Nelson mentioned that Vulcans who travel in space seem to experience Pon Farr at odd times because of their changed circadian rhythms." He ran a hand through his hair. "It got me thinking. The circadian rhythms haven't changed enough to cause this, but what if something else about the sun caused it?"

"That is a reasonable deduction."

McCoy shrugged. "It might not pan out though. If the circadian rhythm of this planet and Vulcan are nearly the same, then it would have to be something like the radiation causing it. And if you're right that the high radiation from Vulcan doesn't exist on New Vulcan, then it can't be that either." He plopped into a chair near Sarek. "At least this will give the lovebirds something to do besides flirt," he muttered and glared over in the direction of Robert and Torek.

"Flirt?" Sarek hadn't noticed any flirting.

McCoy glowered. "Yeah, just watch them." He shook his head. "I don't understand it. My ex-wife was way too frigid for me, and she was Human. What is with all these Humans falling for Vulcans?" He glanced at Sarek. "No offense to Winona, of course."

Sarek shifted in his seat. "No offense was taken. I have wondered the same thing. I understand that my wife Amanda was attracted to me because she enjoyed logic." He watched Robert and Torek converse. Robert smiled brightly at something Torek said and replied with a statement that made Torek nod vigorously. "Even Robert, as a scientist, should appreciate logic. I do not understand why Jim and Winona, two such illogical beings, would be attracted to Vulcans."

McCoy mouth fell open. "Wait, what? Jim's attracted to a Vulcan? What Vulcan? Why haven't I heard about this?"

Sarek had assumed Jim and Spock would have been open about their relationship with McCoy since he appeared to be a close friend of Jim's. Apparently, his assumption had been wrong. "I thought Jim and Spock had spoken with you."

McCoy gaped at him. "Jim and... Spock?"

"They are to bond."

McCoy burst into laughter. "Oh, you got me. And here I thought you Vulcans couldn't tell lies."

"We cannot." McCoy's laughter stopped abruptly. "I was speaking the truth. You have never seen any evidence of their relationship?"

McCoy shook his head slowly. "Are you kidding me? Jim doesn't _do_ relationships."

Winona shared that opinion of Jim, Sarek knew. If that was Jim's true character, would he actually bond with Spock? Or would his son be tossed aside when Jim decided to locate a new partner?

Sarek picked up his PADD again. "I shall continue to examine the data," he said to end his conversation with McCoy. McCoy shook his head again and retrieved his own PADD.

Sarek buried his mind in the information displayed on the screen. He did not want to doubt his son's potential bondmate, but if Jim was not serious, he would hurt Spock, especially now that Sarek knew his son was beginning to deal more openly with his emotions.

He pushed the worries aside and focused on the data. He spent six hours aggregating the data according to various criteria. It seemed as though there was no pattern to the epidemic. Men from sixteen to two-hundred and seven had experienced Pon Farr in the past month. Bonded and unbonded men were experiencing it. For some, it was their first Pon Farr. For others, it was just another one in a long series. For most it was out of their normal schedule, but there were a few who had been expecting to undergo it at this time. Sarek did not know what to make of any of it.

When he finally set aside his PADD, it was past lunchtime and the room was full of various scientists and doctors. He observed for a few minutes and noted from the conversations he could hear that no one else seemed to have any idea what to do with the data either. Knowing there was little he could do at the moment, Sarek left for the barracks cafeteria.

He felt along the bond for Winona. _Have you eaten?_

_Yes, sorry. I've been starving lately with all this work and couldn't wait._

_That is fine. Shall we eat dinner together?_

_I'd like that._

Sarek pulled back from the bond and continued walking. The cafeteria wouldn't be too busy since Sarek had missed the official lunch hour. He would be able to eat quickly and get back to work.

As he rounded the corner near the construction site next to the barracks, Sarek was surprised to hear Jim's voice.

"...and when he told me I could finish Academy in four years and have a command position in four more, I told him I'd do it in three. I only meant Academy at the time, but wouldn't you know, three years later, I was a captain." Jim laughed.

Sarek looked around the construction site until he found Jim and Spock near a group of _Enterprise_ engineers.

"I believe you have now told every crew member that story, Captain," Spock said.

Jim turned to him and put his hands on his hips. "Are you making fun of me?"

Spock tilted his head to the side. "I would never act insubordinately, sir."

Jim shook a finger at Spock. "Don't try to pull that with me." Jim turned to the engineers. "See, he manipulates me into thinking I run the ship, but really it's him pulling the strings." He winked, and the engineers laughed.

"Captain, you wouldna be distracting my engineers now, would you?" Lieutenant Scott approached from the opposite direction as Sarek. "Now, why are you lettin' him get away with this, Mr. Spock?"

Spock clasped his hands behind his back. "I am afraid that there is little that will persuade the Captain from completing an action once he has decided to do it."

Jim slung an arm across Spock's shoulder. "I thought you were on my side, Spock!"

Spock did not step away from the touch. In fact, he leaned into it. "Taking sides in an impossible battle is illogical."

Touch was personal for Vulcans. One had to be close to someone to touch them or to accept their touch since touching meant experiencing their emotions. The very fact that Spock welcomed Jim's touch proved how close he was to Jim. He probably loved Jim, but Sarek had seen no indication that Jim returned Spock's affection.

Perhaps his reservations were not baseless. There was a large chance that Jim would hurt Spock.

Scott scoffed at Jim then. "Oh, off with you. We're on a schedule here and you are going to throw it off!"

Jim shrugged. "Fine. I know when I'm not wanted." His arm slipped off Spock's shoulders and his hand slipped down to take Spock's. "Let's go, Mr. Spock."

Sarek watched in astonishment as Jim paraded across the construction site, towing Spock along by the hand. As far as he knew, holding hands for extended periods of time in public was reserved for couples on Earth. Even if it were merely a friendly gesture on Earth, it was a solely romantic gesture on New Vulcan. Jim would not risk his authority as captain by behaving improperly.

Jim was serious about his relationship with Spock.

Jim and Spock disappeared from sight, and Sarek continued on to the cafeteria. He should not have doubted them. Spock was intelligent. He would not have begun a relationship with Jim if he knew his affections would not be equally returned. The data in this case was fairly obvious. Jim and Spock would make good bondmates.

* * *

McCoy slid into the seat across from Jim with a grin. He looked back and forth between Jim and Spock and his grin widened. "So, what's this I hear about the two of you getting bonded?"

Jim shot Spock a panicked look. They had not planned for this. "Where did you hear that?"

McCoy gestured to Winona and Sarek where they stood at the food synthesizers. "Your new dad informed me about your upcoming nuptials." He looked from Jim to Spock again. "You aren't laughing." McCoy's grin disappeared. "Don't tell me he was telling the truth."

Jim opened his mouth to speak, and Winona appeared next to their table. "Hello, boys. Mind if we sit with you?"

McCoy slid over to the far end of the table. "Not at all, ma'am." He motioned for her to take a seat. "We were just discussing how Spock and Jim are getting married, and _they didn't tell me_."

Jim looked at his mother and then at McCoy. Finally, he turned to Spock and mouthed _Help?_

Spock cleared his throat. "We did not wish to speak of this with the crew as of yet. Our parents discovered the situation quite on accident a few days ago."

Winona frowned. "You hadn't told anyone you were together before us?"

Jim rubbed at his face with his hand. "No, Mom. He's my _First Officer_. If it gets out that we're fucking, it'll affect our command."

McCoy stared at Jim. "You're _fucking_ the green-blooded hobgoblin?"

Jim returned the stare for a few moments and then buried his face in his hands. "Why do I even bother to talk?"

Sarek took a seat next to Winona then. She smiled at him, then turned back to Jim. "How long have you been together? It can't have been long if you haven't told anyone, but I was under the impression you have been together for ages since you're going to bond."

Jim didn't raise his head from his hands. Was he really going to leave this up to Spock to answer? He knew Spock didn't like to lie. Spock took a deep breath and attempted to construct an answer to the question that would contain vague parts of the truth. "Prior to the _Narada_, I disliked Jim's lack of integrity and thought he was immature and illogical."

"Hey!" Jim muttered from his hands.

"However, he proved himself to be capable and mature during the battle with the _Narada_ and I found that we worked together well, though he was still utterly illogical."

"You make me sound like an idiot."

If Jim wanted to appear brilliant, he could tell the story himself. Until then, Spock would tell it as he saw fit. "I struggled with the decision to remain in Starfleet or help build New Vulcan, and it was Jim himself who made me choose the _Enterprise_."

Jim pulled his hands away from his face. "I didn't know that." He sounded pleased.

"Indeed. I wanted to be certain you would not destroy the ship."

Jim groaned and covered his face again.

"As we worked together and Jim grew into his captaincy, a friendship developed between us." Spock paused to order his thoughts. "It remained a simple friendship until two months ago."

Jim looked up. "Boldun."

"Indeed."

Jim settled back in his seat. "If you hadn't been there, I wouldn't have survived."

Winona had been raising a bite of steak to her mouth, but her fork paused in midair. "You nearly died and I didn't hear about it?"

"Boldun is hard to talk about." Jim crossed his arms.

McCoy leaned forward. "I knew about Boldun, but I didn't know this. What was... oh, was it the meld?"

Jim shrugged. "It was a lot of things. Even before the meld, when they tortured and killed my crew before my eyes, Spock was there to support me." Jim glanced at Spock. "Thank you for that, by the way."

"Of course."

Jim turned back to his mother and McCoy. "Once they finished with the crew, they tried to torture Spock. They wanted codes that I had. With Spock there to support me, I stayed strong, but when it was him on the metal table with knives being dragged along his skin, I was weak. I nearly gave up the codes, and I would have if Spock had screamed even once, but he remained so stoic, so strong, that I couldn't be weak. I thought they killed him, but I still wouldn't give up the codes. I wouldn't waste Spock's death like that." He reached out under the table and squeezed Spock's knee. "It was awful, but thankfully Spock woke up before they tried to torture me."

Winona leaned closer and her steak fell off her fork. She didn't even seem to notice. "Tried? They couldn't manage it?"

Jim shook his head. "I was holding Spock's hand when they came in. They thought they had killed him, and the leader berated me for holding a corpse's hand. Thinking I was starting to break, they strapped me to table and tossed Spock onto the floor next to it. They found it amusing when I kept holding Spock's hand even as they started cutting me up. But Spock... Spock was forcing a meld through our hands. And... and he used the meld..." Jim's voice broke. "...he used the meld to take on my pain so I could stay strong, even though he was in his own pain."

Spock let his hand rest on Jim's where it still clasped Spock's knee. The meld had been difficult to maintain, and when it had slipped the pain would return to Jim along with the pain of an improperly formed meld. Spock knew he was strong though, and he knew it was important that Jim protect the codes and himself, as captain, so he had struggled to keep the meld going for the hour they tortured Jim. After they left them alone, Jim had lapsed into unconsciousness until a rescue team arrived to save them. Those forty-five minutes where he couldn't see if Jim was still alive on the table, couldn't move because of his injuries, couldn't grasp Jim's hand were it hung down from the table because they had broken Spock's fingers before they had left him for dead... those had been the longest forty-five minutes of Spock's life.

It had been Giotto's mistake that forced Spock and Jim to go through that and which had cost three crewmembers their lives. Because Giotto had decided to flirt with a Boldun native, instead of watching for danger, they had been kidnapped. Giotto had been left behind by the kidnappers, and he had not been tortured or had to watch his fellow crewmembers die. He had been reprimanded and demoted to lieutenant from lieutenant commander, but the punishment was a slap on the wrist from the Admiralty because, like the rest of them, he had been thrown into command before he was ready. If Jim took comfort in adding punishment in the form of a nickname like Cupcake, Spock would not be the one to rebuke him for it.

Winona's fork clattered on her plate. Her hand came up to cover her mouth. "Oh, that's horrible."

Spock squeezed Jim's hand. "I regret that it happened, but I do not regret that it brought us closer together. Jim is my t'hy'la." Jim returned the squeeze.

McCoy cleared his throat. "I knew what happened, but I didn't realize how much it had affected you." He looked down at his plate. "I don't exactly understand your relationship, but I will support it."

Spock remembered then why they had told the story of Boldun. Something that meant so much to both of them had been attached to a lie. Spock released Jim's hand.

Jim patted Spock's knee once more and then withdrew his hand. "Thanks, Bones. In return, I promise not to tell you the details of our sex life."

McCoy grimaced. "I'm just going to pretend that you never said that and that there is no sex life to discuss because you are both asexual in this relationship."

Jim and Winona both laughed, and the tension broke. The others at the table settled into a conversation about the developments on New Vulcan, but Spock found himself unable to focus. Boldun had been poisoned by its very nature, but the connection he and Jim and forged had made Boldun somewhat palatable. The lies by omission that spilled from Spock's lips were indigestible in comparison.

His appetite and concentration gone, Spock excused himself from the table. Jim wished him goodnight, and Spock returned the sentiment, but he left before Jim could say anything else. Twice that day, his whole world had been turned upside down. He needed to think. He needed to meditate.

He needed to put himself back together.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

A woman burst into the conference room. She scanned the assembled group until her gaze fell on McCoy. "You are needed at the hospital."

McCoy stood up. "I'll come back as soon as I can," he said to Sarek. "What is this all about?" he asked the woman.

She straightened and clasped her hands behind her back. "A shuttlepod has returned from Fellor I with my bondmate. He is in Pon Farr. The doctors at the hospital have already assessed him and have asked for your input as well."

McCoy started throwing PADDs and tricorders into a bag. "And he is different from the other men in Pon Farr, why?"

"He went through Pon Farr twenty-nine days ago," she said quietly.

Sarek stood. "May I accompany you?" Going through Pon Farr twice in mere weeks was beyond the pale. This deserved study.

The woman nodded and they all proceeded to the nearby hospital. She led them to the fourth floor where the private treatment rooms were located, and then she stopped outside of the door to the wing where Pon Farr patients were being placed. Her hand reached out to open the door, but halted before touching the door release. It hovered in midair, shaking slightly. "I have felt Toval through the bond and know he is here and in Pon Farr, but I dare not let him see me." Her hand fell. "I will retreat to the waiting room."

Sarek nodded. "We shall call for you as soon as we have finished our observations." If her bondmate burned, she did as well. He and McCoy would have to work quickly so they could be united as soon as possible.

She left and McCoy pushed open the door to the wing. Only one room on the wing appeared occupied. Sarek checked the name on the patient chart by the door: Toval. He opened the door cautiously, uncertain what to expect from a man undergoing Pon Farr for the second time in such a short period of time. Inside the room, Toval sat in a chair by the window, staring out at the barren desert behind the hospital. He looked up when Sarek and McCoy entered.

"Greetings, doctors."

Sarek offered a salute. "Greetings. This is Doctor McCoy. I am Sarek. I am no doctor, merely a scientist."

Toval rose from his seat. "Please complete your observations quickly. It has been two days since I began Pon Farr. The blood fever may overtake me at any time."

McCoy pulled out his ever-present tricorder. "What was the exact date of your last Pon Farr?" He began to pass the tricorder over Toval.

Toval bowed his head. "Stardate 2259.24 signaled the onset. It was alleviated on 2259.26."

"What has occurred since then?" Sarek asked. He took one of McCoy's PADDs to transcribe the response.

"I have spent the past twenty-three days on Fellor I as part of a team attempting to mine the dilithium deposits discovered in the planet's core." Toval trembled suddenly and took a deep breath as he steadied. "A fair number of the men who accompanied me underwent Pon Farr in the past week, but for them it was the first time since the destruction of Vulcan. I was not expecting to experience it for a second time and was rushed back to be examined when I realized what was happening." His gaze drifted to the door. "My bondmate S'Rina made arrangements for my arrival when I informed her I was returning." He took a small step towards the door and away from McCoy, making McCoy frown. Toval shook his head and drew himself up straight. "I apologize. I am beginning to burn."

McCoy's frown deepened. "Well, I've got nothing. All your readings are typical for a male in Pon Farr. I'll take a blood sample to study. Maybe you've been exposed to something that stimulated it, but right now I haven't got a clue." McCoy glanced around the room until he spotted some storage cabinets. He strode over to them and began to fumble inside of them.

Sarek examined Toval. He appeared quite normal, though agitated. "Have the effects of Pon Farr been harsher or weaker than typical?"

"They are weaker than expected. The men of my family tend to experience Pon Farr strongly and towards the beginning of the seventh year. My current symptoms are twenty-nine percent lower in degree than normal."

Interesting. Sarek made a few more notes on the PADD. McCoy let out a crow of delight as he yanked a phlebosac from a drawer. McCoy used the phlebosac to collect a large blood sample, which Sarek assumed was because McCoy was uncertain which procedures he would need to perform on the sample and not because McCoy took pleasure in the slightly painful procedure—though the happy smile on the man's face was suspicious.

When McCoy released Toval, the man took a few tottering steps towards the door. "Have you completed all necessary evaluations?" His eyes darted from Sarek to the door. "The fever is near."

"I have completed my assessments." Sarek looked to McCoy.

McCoy shook his full phlebosac at them. "I'm all done here."

The door opened and S'Rina strode in. Toval held out two fingers and S'Rina pressed her own fingers to them. Toval's eyes shuttered closed. S'Rina nodded to McCoy and Sarek. "Live long and prosper."

Sarek saluted her and retreated from the room without speaking. McCoy hurried out behind him and pulled the door shut. A deep moan came through the closed door and McCoy's eyes widened. A second higher but no less passionate moan sent McCoy skittering out of the wing. Sarek followed after him. In the hallway, Sarek stopped a nurse who was passing by. "Toval and S'Rina require solitude."

He nodded. "I will engage the privacy lock." The nurse walked off.

McCoy had paused halfway down the corridor and waited for Sarek to reach his side. "I thought you were supposed to be emotionless people. Those were not emotionless noises that I heard!"

"Such is the destructive power of Pon Farr that it removes all control over our emotions." Memories of the fever burned in Sarek's blood for a moment. He reached for the bond without thinking, looking for Winona to quench the thirst. The touch was not enough to alert her to his searching mind, but it did offer him an impression of her location—she was far nearer than he expected her to be.

McCoy snorted. "You make it sound as if the only time Vulcans unfreeze enough for sex is when your biology makes you."

"Most Vulcans only engage in copulation during Pon Farr." At least, that is what society seemed to believe. Sarek was uncertain whether that was the truth. There were, of course, no studies to show exactly how often Vulcans had sex. Sarek had never sought sex outside of Pon Farr prior to his marriage to Amanda. It had shocked him somewhat to discover Amanda wished to have sex daily at times. Once he had overcome the stigma of experiencing emotions so often, he had found that his sex drive was more than equal to hers. Sarek often wondered if perhaps other Vulcans, ones with proper Vulcan mates, were as drawn to sex outside of Pon Farr as Sarek was. "I have found that this does not hold true for all Vulcans, of course."

McCoy's face puckered as if he had tasted something bitter. "Obviously, or Jim wouldn't be threatening to tell me about his and Spock's nighttime shenanigans."

"I was speaking from personal experience," Sarek said quickly. "I no more wish to think of my son's sexual relations than you."

"You?" McCoy shook his hand and held up his hands. "No, don't tell me, I don't want to know. I'm going to take the blood and go run tests on it and think about anything except Vulcan sex."

"That is impossible."

McCoy glared at him. "Well, now that you've put those awful images in my head, heck yeah it'll be impossible."

What an obtuse man. "I meant that you are studying the blood in order to better understand Pon Farr, which is intimately connected to sex, therefore it is impossible to avoid thinking of 'Vulcan sex'."

McCoy narrowed his eyes. "Why do I bother?" He spun on his heel and left without a farewell.

The abrupt departure didn't bother Sarek. McCoy, despite his harsh words, was by all accounts one of the best doctors in Starfleet, and he was trying his best to help them solve the epidemic. He was an honorable man, even if he was not a polite one.

Sarek began walking towards the academy, ready to return to his study of the data, when he recalled his realization that Winona was closer than she should have been. He reached out along the bond again, this time alerting Winona to his presence. _Were you not to work on the soil enrichment project this morning?_ The project was located on the other side of town, nowhere as near as Sarek could feel Winona. In fact, she was so near that Sarek thought she was probably in the same building as him.

Winona sighed along the bond. _I was working on it, but I passed out and Spock forced me to go to the hospital._

_Why did you pass out?_ Was she ill? Perhaps it was an aftereffect of the Pon Farr. She never did get properly examined afterwards.

Winona sighed again. _You and Spock are such worrywarts. I was in a rush this morning and didn't eat breakfast. It was my own fault my blood sugar dropped and I fainted. There's nothing to worry about._ She sent him an image of the examining room in which she sat and the doctor attending her. _Look, I'm getting checked out and everything, and then I promised Spock I would eat lunch with him and Jim. I'm about done and getting ready to leave._

Sarek changed direction, walking towards the part of the hospital where Winona was likely to be._I will join you. What is your exact location?_

_No, Sarek, you were working on something. Don't let me distract you!_

_You are no distraction._

Winona's happiness burned through the bond. _You are so adorable._

Adorable? That wasn't an adjective Sarek would attach to himself, but at least Winona seemed happy. Her happiness soothed the tension that had settled into his chest without his permission. He headed towards the room Winona indicated to him.

Normally Sarek would refute the idea that he worried about anything, but he couldn't refute the truth, not at that moment. If one man could undergo Pon Farr again so soon, what would stop it from happening to every man?

What would stop it from happening to him?

* * *

Spock watched his father carry his and Winona's trays to the table where Jim sat. Winona shook her head at him, protesting loud enough for the entire barracks cafeteria to hear that she was "perfectly fine, you big fussbudget."

Sarek paid no attention to her, just as he had often ignored Spock's mother's protests when Sarek was attempting to care for her. Spock thought it was a sign of his father's affection that he did whatever he felt was necessary to protect his family, even if they did not appreciate the gestures—such as Sarek's pressuring Spock to find a bondmate. Spock was glad that his and Jim's deception had stopped Sarek's constant inquiries as to whether Spock had located a bondmate, but he felt horrid that he was deceiving Winona.

They had been working together on a soil enrichment project that morning, and she had taken great delight in informing Spock how happy she was for him and Jim. She was a sweet and gentle woman, with a shockingly straightforward attitude. At one point, she had actually asked if he and Jim were having safe sex. Spock knew that both he and Jim were safe—they had both undergone rigorous testing after their experience on Boldun and neither of them had had intercourse with anyone except each other since then—but Winona's question had shocked him and he had stammered out something inane about routine inoculations against sexually transmitted infections which all Starfleet employees received. She had passed out soon after that, and Spock had used it as an excuse to send her to the hospital as much for her own safety as for his sanity.

Spock gathered his food from the cafeteria buffet line and took a seat with his family. The word sounded odd, but that's what they were now. He truly doubted Sarek and Winona would break the bond, and even if they did, Jim would always be like family to Spock. It made keeping the deception going even more difficult though. He hated lying to Winona and Sarek, even if they were only lies by omission.

Winona and Jim were commiserating over the heat on New Vulcan together, and Spock listened in with only part of his attention. Instead, he watched his father. Sarek's attention was focused solely on Winona. When she wasn't paying attention, Sarek slid a serving of vegetables onto a plate dominated by protein and carbohydrates. She ate in a manner similar to Jim, simply swallowing anything on her tray. As Spock watched, she took a bite of the vegetables. Her fork didn't even pause, dipping back down to the plate for another bite of vegetables and then one of pasta.

Sarek looked pleased, his posture relaxing back into his seat with every bite she took. As Winona began to complain about not getting any work done on her part of the project that morning, she reached over and took Sarek's hand in her own. It seemed to be a subconscious gesture and a fairly annoying one that required her to twist oddly in her seat, but she didn't release his hand to regain her comfort.

It was love. The signs were even more obvious between Sarek and Winona than they had been between Sarek and Amanda. It hurt a little, though Spock knew it was only because Winona was more open with her emotions than Spock's mother had been. Amanda had loved logic and Vulcan culture even though they required her to stifle her natural emotions.

It also hurt because Spock wanted it. He wanted a bondmate, someone he could share everything with. There was no one Spock could tell anything and everything to, who would care for him no matter what. But then, perhaps he would never find such a person. If T'Pring had survived, Spock would have been trapped with her, trapped in a bond where he would have had to stifle his emotions and be purely Vulcan.

Jim reached over suddenly and clasped Spock's hand under the table. "Hey, you look gloomy. What's up?"

Spock assessed his person. He could feel that his facial expression was neutral, his posture straight but not rigid, and his actions fluid and concerned only with eating his meal. "I do not look gloomy." There was nothing in his appearance that would cause someone to believe he was upset.

Jim rolled his eyes. "You can't see yourself."

"I know what I look like when my muscles are in specific positions."

Jim's hand squeezed Spock's. "Alright, fine, whatever you say. You're sending out gloomy waves then."

"My telepathic abilities are limited to affecting those I am touch—"

"Shut up." Jim leaned over and bumped Spock's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Jim wouldn't allow him to disseminate. Spock didn't want to tell him the truth though. Jim liked casual flings. He had said himself that he didn't do long term relationships. He would never understand how much Spock longed for a bondmate.

"Spock..." Jim drew his name out. "Tell me."

Spock shook off the gloom that had settled over him. "It is nothing."

"It's not nothing." Jim wriggled his hand in Spock's until his fingers were interlaced with Spock's. "Tell me."

Sarek and Winona were engaged in a private conversation across the table, though they were silent. They were holding each other's gazes, and Spock could tell they were deeply involved in a telepathic discussion. Lowering his voice, he offered part of the reason he had gotten upset. "My father is in love with Winona."

Jim softened. "Oh, Spock, he still loves your mom too."

Spock looked away. The lies kept building. "I know."

Jim pulled his hand from Spock's and grabbed one of the cookies on his plate. He tossed it on to Spock's plate with a grin. "Have a cookie. It'll cheer you up."

Spock shook his head but he did eat the cookie. It was an oatmeal and raisin concoction made for the Humans, but it was palatable. The fact that Jim beamed at him every time he took a bite of the cookie made it taste better than anything else on Spock's plate.

Spock's worries were inane. He might never find a bondmate to love, but he had Jim. Very few Vulcans ever found a friendship as strong as t'hy'la. Spock was lucky. Even when his intimate relationship with Jim ended, he would forever have Jim as a friend, and that was, perhaps, worth more than any bond. Bonds could be broken. Spock and Jim would never stop being t'hy'la.

Spock swallowed the last of his cookie, his thoughts immeasurably brighter.

* * *

Jim decided to join Spock and Winona on the soil project later that afternoon, and Spock didn't attempt to dissuade him. There was no reason for Jim to be working on the project, but he seemed intent on cheering Spock up. Jim's presence would be good for crew morale, at least.

As they approached the site, Spock could see people perking up all over. Much of the work was manual labor, and a fair number of the crewmembers were from security. Giotto offered Jim a military salute as he passed, and Jim returned it with a smile and a "Back to work, Cupcake" that made Giotto glower. The rest of the crew was from the physical sciences department, and they nodded at Jim as he appeared at their sides.

"What are you all up to?" Jim asked loudly.

Lieutenant Nilly Velasquez was turned away from them, talking to a Vulcan man, and she startled violently at the sound of Jim's voice. She squeaked and spun around, bumping into the Vulcan behind her and then crying out again and hunching in on herself.

Jim cringed guiltily. "Lieutenant, I'm so sorry." He moved to her side and started to rub her back. Spock headed towards the other side of the site where he was most needed, knowing Jim had everything under control.

McCoy had conferenced with them about Velasquez after her assignment to the _Enterprise_. She was still dealing with the trauma of the _Trellis's_ implosion. Loud noises, sudden movements, and any source of stress tended to send her into a fit. Human touch brought her out of it, more often than not. She was not dangerous, and in the low-hazard environment on New Vulcan, she would be fine, though she would have to be taken back to Earth and reassigned to a low-stress environment before the _Enterprise_ headed out on any risky missions. That was the decision McCoy and Jim had made after discussing her medical needs.

Velasquez calmed down slowly as Jim soothed her. Everyone's attention was focused on her, and when Winona took her aside to help her relax, everyone let out a sigh of relief. As they rounded a corner of a building and moved out of hearing and sight, the Vulcan she had bumped into suddenly let out a roar that Spock heard all the way on the other side of the site.

Spock was too far away to reach Jim. The Vulcan was much closer and when his face contorted in rage, he turned to Jim. Jim backed away, his hands raising slowly into the air to form an ineffective barrier. The Vulcan launched himself at Jim.

People screamed as the Vulcan slammed into Jim, shoving him to the ground. Jim tried to fight the Vulcan off, but the man grabbed Jim's throat and squeezed.

Spock sprang into motion, running to Jim's side. He was too far away, he'd never make it in time, Jim was struggling for breath, writhing on the sand. It would take twenty seconds to traverse the site. Spock had no weapons. He wasn't strong enough to defeat a full-Vulcan. He couldn't save Jim. He couldn't stop his attacker. But still, he ran.

A phaser blast hit the Vulcan in the side. His grip on Jim slacked and he collapsed into the sand at Jim's side. Spock kept running, but he scanned the crowd. Giotto had a phaser in hand, the tip glowing blue. Good, the Vulcan had only been stunned.

Spock fell to the ground by Jim. Jim's chest was rising and falling, but his eyes were closed. "Captain?" Spock shook Jim lightly. "Captain?" There was no response. "Jim?" Spock was nearly ready to gather Jim into his arms and carry him to the hospital when Jim suddenly coughed and opened his eyes. "Jim!"

Jim smiled up at him. "You Vulcans certainly do like to choke people."

Spock grabbed Jim's hand, needing to feel his emotions, to feel _him_. Jim's emotions were calm, the fright and anger from the fight fading away.

Giotto stepped up to them and pointed his phaser towards the Vulcan. "What should I do with him, sir?"

Jim glanced over at the stunned Vulcan. "Take him to the hospital. And thank you, Giotto."

A small smile crossed Giotto's face before it was hidden under a sharp nod and salute. "Aye, sir." He reached down and picked up the Vulcan, throwing him over a shoulder.

Spock squeezed Jim's hand. "You should go to the hospital as well."

Jim frowned. "Getting throttled hasn't killed me yet." He struggled to stand up.

"Captain, you lost consciousness." Spock helped Jim pull himself up. "I believe an examination is necessary."

Jim brushed the sand from his pants with his free hand. "Alright, fine. I want to go see what was up with that guy anyway."

Spock released Jim, and both of them followed Giotto. Spock was grateful that Giotto had thought to keep his phaser on him. New Vulcan was a peaceful society, just as Vulcan had been, and Spock never imagined he would need to carry a phaser. He resolved to begin doing so.

When they arrived at the hospital, Jim attempted to follow Giotto and the Vulcan back into a treatment room. Spock forced him to remain in the waiting room until he could be assessed himself. Twenty-three minutes passed before a doctor was available to attend to Jim. After Jim had been examined and declared uninjured aside from minor bruising, Jim demanded to know what had happened to the Vulcan.

A doctor ushered them into a nearby room. "Patient confidentiality means that I cannot inform you of his status."

Jim crossed his arms. "I was attacked by that man!"

She just looked at him. "Patient confidentiality exists for a reason, sir."

"I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the USS _Enterprise_. I could declare this an interplanetary incident."

The doctor's lips tightened. "As captain you have clearance to information pertaining to your crew's health and safety. I will only share that information. Sorel is in Pon Farr and has just entered the blood fever. He wishes to take your crewmember Nilly Velasquez as a bondmate. He viewed your contact with her as a challenge." She narrowed her eyes slightly. "That is all the information I may release to you."

Jim grinned and dropped his arms. "And that's all I needed to know. Is he gonna take a Vulcan bondmate, or do I need to get in contact with Velasquez?"

She blinked at him and her face relaxed into a more accepting expression. "We need Ms. Velasquez to either bond with him or reject him. He will not consider another until then."

Jim nodded and headed for the door, clasping the doctor on the shoulder as he passed. She flinched away from him and shook her head in disapproval. Spock followed Jim.

Outside of the hospital, Jim took a deep breath. "I hate hospitals. Alright, let's go find Velasquez and see if she's willing to go save a raving mad Vulcan." Jim sighed. "Poor thing will probably be scared to death."

"A Vulcan would never hurt their bondmate or intended bondmate, Jim." Spock did not understand why Jim had the misconception that a Vulcan in Pon Farr would be violent to their bondmate. "Sorel waited until Velasquez had left the area to attack you. That implies that he knew such actions would upset her mental balance and thus he waited to avoid hurting her."

Jim glanced at Spock. "Really? I mean, it makes sense but... that's kind of romantic, in a very Vulcan way."

"Most Vulcans care very deeply for their bondmates."

Jim gave him a crooked smile. "You make this bond sound so awesome, I'm jealous that I'll never get a chance to feel it."

"Perhaps you should take a Vulcan bondmate then." Spock raised an eyebrow. "It would set an example for the crew."

Jim laughed and slung an arm around Spock's shoulders. "If I tossed you over for another Vulcan, my mother would never let me hear the end of it. Besides, you're more than enough Vulcan for me, Spock. We're setting an example for the crew together."

"How is that?"

"Haven't you heard the rumors? Bones couldn't keep his mouth shut, apparently, and everyone's been whispering about our wedding all morning." Jim released Spock. "It'll be a shame to burst their bubbles when this is all over."

More lies. Spock's stomach twisted. "Perhaps they won't believe the rumors."

Jim shrugged. "They probably will. Having to pretend in front of our parents usually means pretending in front of a whole mess or cafeteria. The crew does have eyes."

"We should refrain from touching in public then." Spock would not allow himself to feel disappointment. He liked being able to touch Jim, but they couldn't put their commands at risk.

Jim just slugged him in the shoulder. "Psh. The rumor mill means nothing to me. We haven't been touching that much more than usual anyway. I'm not stopping."

"Very well." The number of touches from Jim to Spock had not changed since their intimate relationship began. The number of touches from Spock to Jim, on the hand, had changed dramatically. Spock considered the number of times he had touched Jim just that day. No wonder the crew believed the rumors. Spock would have to restrain himself. Such actions were uncouth on Vulcan anyway.

Spock's hands suddenly itched to reach out and touch Jim. He clasped them behind his back to keep them under control. They would be at the soil site soon. He had to remain professional.

They found Velasquez back at the soil project. She glanced up at their approach and immediately headed towards Jim. "Sir," she greeted him.

"Lieutenant. Are you alright now?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes, sir. I heard what happened when I left. I can't imagine why Sorel did that. He's absolutely the gentlest man I've ever known."

Jim snorted. "Not when he's in Pon Farr, apparently."

Velasquez's face dimmed. "Oh. Did you take him to find a mate then?"

"No," Jim replied.

Her brow furrowed. "Why not? He's not in danger, is he?"

"No, we didn't take him to find a mate because he needs his intended bondmate to come to him." Jim smiled as Velasquez's shoulders slumped.

"That's good then. That he's got an intended mate, I mean. He'll be safe."

Spock decided to take pity on the woman since Jim seemed determined to torture her. "You are his intended mate. He awaits your acceptance or refusal before he can take another."

Her eyes widened. "Me? He really wants me?" She started walking. "He's at the hospital, right?"

Jim started after her. "You aren't afraid? You want this?"

"I could never be afraid of Sorel." She paused. "When I was first assigned to New Vulcan, I was so frightened of everything, but he stayed by my side and made me feel safe. I didn't think I meant anything to him because he never showed me any emotions, and I was sure he would take a Vulcan bondmate." She smiled prettily. "But he does want me, even though I'm so screwed up."

Jim reached out, slowly so as not to frighten her, and grasped her shoulder. "Good luck with your bonding then. He's in the hospital. The nurses at the emergency station should be able to tell you which room."

"Thank you, Captain!" She dashed off.

Jim waved at her then turned to Spock. "I thought she'd be completely freaked out."

"I told you. A Vulcan would never hurt their bondmate."

Jim nodded slowly. "I'm starting to get what you mean now. This bond really is something special, isn't it?"

He had no idea. Spock had felt a bond and he had felt the emptiness of a broken bond. More than anything, he longed to be bonded again. Preferably to someone who actually liked him this time.

Jim slung an arm over Spock's shoulders again. "Oh well. That's enough drama for one day. Time to get back to work."

Spock didn't let himself lean into the touch. He had to be professional. "Indeed."

Jim let go and Spock nearly reached out to touch him. Professional. He clasped his hands behind his back. "I will go speak with the scientists." Since Jim was headed towards the laborers, it would put them on opposite sides of the site. Spock wanted that distance.

Jim pivoted the other way. "I'll go with you."

Spock would not sigh. Spock would not touch Jim. Spock would not lose his composure. He would be a professional.

Winona waved at them and Jim waved back. As his arm lowered, he let it fall onto Spock's shoulders again. "Gotta make it look good for Mom," he muttered.

Spock sighed as his composure disintegrated and he leaned into Jim. "Indeed."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

When the Sarek set down his bowl of bertakk soup, Winona grimaced. "That's awful!" she said. "What is that smell?" She leaned over and sniffed at his bowl. "Oh, I can't, that's gross—" she sprung out of her chair "—I gotta go throw up." With that, she ran out of the cafeteria.

Sarek glanced at his soup. Bertakk was known for being mild. How odd.

Standing, he abandoned his soup in favor of following his bondmate. As he traversed the cafeteria, he spotted McCoy and his tricorder near the door. Sarek stopped next to McCoy and lowered his voice. "Winona does not seem well. Will you examine her?"

McCoy grabbed his tricorder. "Sure." He said goodbye to the people he was eating with and followed Sarek outside to the public restrooms. As they were approaching, Winona stepped out of the building, patting her face with wet hands.

She glared at them. "What, a girl throws up once and you call the doctor on her?"

McCoy shrugged and started running his tricorder over Winona. "Better safe than sorry. Any idea what caused the vomiting?"

Winona wrinkled her nose. "Sarek's soup just smelled absolutely vile. My stomach couldn't take it."

Sarek clasped his hands behind his back so that he couldn't reach out and touch Winona as he wished to. "Bertakk is milder in taste and scent than even plomeek."

McCoy snorted. "And plomeek's got all the flavor of corrugated cardboard." He frowned at the tricorder and then at Winona. "You haven't had any other odd symptoms, have you?"

Winona shrugged. "I'm tired, but I think it's just the heat getting to me."

Was she not concerned for her health at all? "There have been other symptoms. You fainted seven days ago." Healthy people did not faint. She had claimed the episode was caused by low blood sugar, but evidently there was a serious problem at hand.

"Well, what Human wouldn't faint in this kind of atmosphere?" she grumbled.

McCoy fumbled at his side, then cursed. "Well, damn, I haven't got my hyposprays on me."

"What medication does she require?"

Winona crossed her arms and settled back on her heels. "Don't you even try coming near me with one of those hyposprays. Jimmy told me you're lethal with them."

"Vulcans and Kirks!" McCoy threw his hands up in the air, nearly tossing the tricorder to the side. "What did I ever do to deserve this?" He turned to Sarek. "I was going to give her a nausea suppressant. Your wife's fine, just pregnant. And apparently she's already getting mood swings."

What? Pregnant? "I am sorry, Doctor. I believe I misheard you."

McCoy sighed and turned to Winona. "You're pregnant. Which you would have known already if you had let me assess you after Pon Farr, but no, you're a Kirk and Kirks don't need doctors."

Winona's mouth fell open. "I've gone through menopause! I can't be pregnant."

McCoy absently tapped his tricorder against his leg. "Are you certain? How long has it been since you last menstruated?"

"Nearly seven months," Winona said. "Why does that matter?"

McCoy pointed the tricorder at her. "Because menopause isn't official until you've gone a year without menstruating. You aren't as menopausal as you thought you were."

The possibility of a Human/Vulcan pregnancy was quite small, even considering the hormonal changes of Pon Farr. Amanda had struggled for three years to get pregnant with Spock and had required heavy medical intervention and fertility treatments to finally conceive. The chances that Winona, as a Human, had conceived during their first union were nearly impossible. Still, Sarek moved to Winona's side. She obviously had some kind of illness and the tricorder was misreading it as a pregnancy. "Perhaps your tricorder is picking up signs of a parasite."

"Oh, it's something like a parasite, but most of us call them babies." McCoy thrust the tricorder at Sarek.

Sarek stared down at the tricorder screen. There were highly elevated levels of beta Human Chorionic Gonadotropin hormone in Winona's bloodstream. "You are pregnant."

McCoy reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know it's a shock. If you want to terminate the pregnancy, you'll need to let me know soon. You're over two weeks along and you have until the two month mark. At that point, the law says I have to transfer the embryo to an incubator so it can be put up for adoption when it reaches term."

Winona's hands fell to her stomach. _I want to keep my baby,_ she said through the bond.

_It is Vulcan. Its birth shall be celebrated._ Sarek had not expected to become a parent again, but it was more than logical to do so. Vulcan needed new citizens.

McCoy released Winona. "Don't get upset. I just wanted to let you know what your options were."

Winona pressed her hands against her stomach and stared down at it. "Thanks, but no thanks. We're keeping the kid."

McCoy smiled. "Congrats. Mind if I tell Jim? I'd like to be there when he faints."

Winona waved at hand at him, but Sarek could tell she wasn't thinking about McCoy or Jim. "Have your fun. I'd rather not see the explosion myself." She looked up at Sarek. "There's a baby in me."

"Indeed." Sarek sent her an image of their room on the _Enterprise_. "We should discuss this in private."

She grinned at him. "Heck, yes." She grabbed him by the hand and began pulling him towards the transporter location. "Later, Doctor."

McCoy shook his head at her. "Bye. Come in for a prenatal check-up this evening and I'll make sure everything looks alright."

Winona didn't stop to respond. Instead she increased her speed, dragging Sarek along behind her. Sarek allowed this, knowing that the faster they reached a private area, the faster they could discuss the situation.

When they reached their bedroom, Winona stepped inside, pulled Sarek in too, and then waited for the door to close before pouncing on him. She kissed him hard, slipping her tongue into his mouth, and then pulled away to let out a squeal. "It's a baby!"

"You are happy about the pregnancy."

She laughed and shook her head. "Oh, hell, no. I get morning sickness like crazy when I'm pregnant, and then I start bloating, and my whole body feels like shit by the end of it. But I'm happy about the baby." One of her hands slipped between her and Sarek and pressed against her stomach. Her face dimmed, her smile sad. "I love kids. George and I wanted a bunch of them. But when George died, I couldn't look at my boys without thinking of him. I missed their childhoods." Her smile brightened. "This baby is my second chance."

Sarek didn't know how to reply to that. All he could think of while looking down at Winona's smiling face was the utter heartbreak Amanda had felt month after month when she couldn't conceive. His bonding with Winona had been so fast, and his connection to her had grown quickly. He cared for her, and he would care for the child within her, but doing so still felt like a betrayal to Amanda.

Sarek didn't have to try to explain his thoughts though. Winona slipped inside his head and discovered it all for herself.

"Oh, Sarek, you know she wouldn't think of it like that." Winona wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly. "I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking about you. I was just so happy..."

"I am pleased as well," Sarek reassured her. "Our child will help populate New Vulcan." He let his hands fall to her waistline. It hadn't begun to bulge with the pregnancy. It would be months before the child was visible, even longer before the embryonic brain was developed enough to meld with it, and still longer before the child could enter the world. Winona was of advanced maternal age too, and she could miscarry or develop complications a younger woman wouldn't face. Things could go wrong, but at that moment, there was an embryo growing inside of her that was half-Vulcan.

She lifted her face and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "It's not just half-Vulcan, it's half-you."

Sarek's grip on Winona tightened. It was his child. He was going to be a father again.

Winona squirmed in his embrace and he relaxed his hold. She reached down and took hold of his hands, pulling them off of her body and then clasping them in her own hands. She took a step backwards, tugging Sarek forwards, and shot him a grin and a wink. "Best part about being pregnant, though, is the sex. If you thought I was horny before, you'd better watch out now."

Sarek let her tow him to the bed, but before she could topple them both into it, he stopped her. She let go of his hands, and he took hold of the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head. Then he reached behind her and undid the clasp of her bra. As she let it slip off her shoulders, he slipped his fingers into the waist of her pants. They were loose, so he pulled them down to her feet, bringing her underwear along with them. Her shoes and socks slipped off easily, leaving her standing bare before him. He pulled her to him and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She tried to deepen it, but he pulled away and lowered her softly to the bed.

He ran a hand down her side, then knelt next to the bed and pressed two fingers to Winona's stomach. He could not feel the child. There was still no heartbeat, no brainwaves, nothing to detect, but they would come. Leaning forward, his pressed a Human kiss just below her belly button, where his child likely lay.

Winona looked down at him with wide eyes. "Sarek?"

He covered her lips with two fingers. There was no need for words. He worshipped the body that held his child, giving pleasure to this woman who had so quickly come to mean so much to him.

After Winona recovered, she stared up at him with wide eyes. "Sarek?"

He pressed two fingers to her lips, not to silence her but as a caress. "I am pleased with the pregnancy."

Laughter burbled out of Winona and she shook beneath him. "I can tell."

He withdrew from her body and stood. "It is the middle of the day. We should return to our duties." He helped Winona stand, letting his hands linger on her stomach.

She leaned into his touch. "You're going be a possessive worrywart for the whole pregnancy, aren't you?"

"Indubitably." There was much to be concerned about. A cross-species pregnancy carried many risks for both mother and child, and Winona was far older than Amanda had been. There could be any number of complications. It was only logical to consider all of the concerns and to remain in Winona's vicinity whenever possible to be certain that her health would be monitored properly.

She patted him on the chest. "I expected nothing less. Now, let's get back to work." She bent down and grabbed her clothes before heading for the bathroom. Just before she went through the door, she turned back and grinned at Sarek. "And just so you know, the soft and gentle lovemaking was lovely and I adored it, but I'm expecting a right proper fucking later tonight. Being pregnant doesn't make me breakable!" She ducked into the bathroom.

Sarek took a seat at the table to wait for Winona to finish and dress so he could escort his bondmate back to the surface. His _pregnant_ bondmate.

He was going to be a _father_ again.

The thought seemed to click all of a sudden and he stared at the wall across the room in shock, unable to even muster up the brainpower to be offended when Winona heard his thoughts and started to laugh at him.

* * *

McCoy bounced into the room like a Terran puppy, an action that Spock was more accustomed to seeing from Jim than from the perpetually cantankerous doctor. "You're never gonna guess what I found out!"

Jim smiled, but it was a tense smile. "Later, Bones. We called you in here because there's something you need to know, something that might help with the epidemic."

Immediately McCoy became more professional, the wide grin on his face falling away. He took a seat at the conference table across from Jim and Spock. "What is it?"

Jim took a deep breath. Spock reached across the table to take Jim's hand and support him. McCoy shot him a surprised look, but Spock ignored it. Jim's emotions were in an upheaval, but they calmed slightly at Spock's touch. "Remember how you asked me about what happened on Delta Vega and I told you I just happened to run across Scotty and he helped me back to the _Enterprise_?"

McCoy nodded slowly. "Yeah?"

"Well, I lied." Jim flinched preemptively.

McCoy's chair screeched on the floor as he jumped up. "I don't like liars, Jim!"

"Doctor, your issues with your ex-wife have no place in this argument. Please return to your seat." Spock waited while McCoy calmed himself.

McCoy took a seat again, but he crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at Jim. "And then you go and tell the pointy-eared bastard my secrets."

Jim's guilt flared, though there was no reason for him to be guilty. Spock squeezed his hand. "I derived the information regarding your marriage from your Starfleet records. Jim has broken no confidences, and he lied only to protect another." Jim did everything in his power to protect his friendship with McCoy and would never have lied if he could have avoided it. Spock had seen the memories on Boldun. McCoy had been Jim's first true friend, someone he had trusted with everything. While Spock didn't understand Jim's affection for the ill-tempered and ill-mannered doctor, he did not seek to harm their friendship. Though, if McCoy ever upset Jim again as much as he had just then, Spock would seek to harm the _doctor_.

Tugging his hand from Spock's, Jim held his palms out in a placating gesture. "Hear me out, Bones."

"Fine."

Jim's shoulders slumped at the one-word response, but he continued speaking. "See, when I got to Delta Vega, I did bump into someone who helped me get back, but that person was Spock, not Scotty." McCoy opened his mouth to speak, but Jim cut him off. "No, not this Spock. It was an older Spock, from another timeline. You know him as Spirk."

McCoy's mouth fell open. "What on Earth?"

"I believe you meant, 'What on Delta Vega?' Doctor." Spock's remark earned him a glare from McCoy, but it made Jim smile, and that was what he had been aiming for.

"Yeah, I know, it's crazy, but it's true," Jim added. "Spirk was supposed to save Romulus from the supernova in his timeline, but he failed and got sucked into ours, like Nero, only he got pulled back to a later time. Nero was pissy that Spirk failed, and that's why he wanted to kill Spock. But Spirk knew the formula for transwarp beaming and got me back to the _Enterprise_ before Nero could wreak too much damage on the universe."

It was knowledge of Spirk that had released Spock from guilt after the _Narada_ incident. Spock's emotional collapse had been a low point in his life, and he had regretted sending Jim to Delta Vega after he came back to his senses, but if it hadn't been for Spirk and the information he shared with Jim, so many more horrible things could have occurred that day beyond what actually happened. Stranding Jim on Delta Vega may have been destiny, and as such Jim had forgiven Spock and Spock had forgiven himself. McCoy, on the other hand, hadn't forgiven anything. Spock knew Delta Vega was part of the reason McCoy still seemed to disbelieve their false relationship.

McCoy brought a hand up to rub at his chin. "Alright. Let's say I believe this. What's it got to do with the epidemic?"

"Spirk's from the future," Jim said.

McCoy waved an absent hand at Jim. "And?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "So he's got knowledge from the future, obviously."

McCoy looked as if he was ready to let loose with a scathing attack on Jim's intelligence, so Spock spoke before he could. "Spirk set up this meeting and asked up to tell you about him. We are uncertain what new knowledge he has to share in regards to the epidemic."

McCoy frowned. "Okay. When's he gonna get here then?"

"Right now." Jim and McCoy's heads snapped towards the end of the room where Spirk had just entered. Spock, knowing his own penchant for dramatic entrances, was less surprised at the arrival. "Hello, Leonard, Jim, Spock." Spirk nodded at each of them as he spoke their names, then took a seat beside McCoy.

McCoy looked back and forth between Spock and Spirk. "You look nothing alike."

"Indeed?" Spock and Spirk asked at the same time, each of them raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

McCoy's eyes bulged. "Never mind."

Jim leaned forward, setting his arms on the table. "Nice to see you again, Spirk."

"And you as well, Jim." Spirk straightened in his seat. "I called you all here to speak of something that is difficult for me to talk about—" he glanced at Spock "—my first Pon Farr."

Spock's stomach tightened. He wanted to know what to expect, but at the same time, he didn't.

Spirk's gaze focused on the center of the table. There was nothing there to look at, but Spirk seemed fascinated by it. "In my universe, I would not have to speak of this with you, for my Jim and my Leonard were there for the events that led to a _kal-if-fee_ and the end of my Pon Farr."

Spock recoiled inside. It was likely that Spirk's first bondmate in his universe would have been T'Pring. Knowing that T'Pring had called for a kal-if-fee made Spock regret the end of their bond even less. How he would have despised being bonded to a woman like her!

"What's a kali-fee?" Jim asked.

"Kal-if-fee," Spock corrected him. "It is a challenge, a battle to the death. In the past, Vulcan children were bonded quite young, often at the age of seven. When the male began his first Pon Farr, a ritual was undergone where the two bondmates met on a ceremonial ground. The female could then accept the male and they would be married and sent off to end the Pon Farr, or she could call for a challenge and have the male battle another male of her choice with the winner becoming her husband."

McCoy shook his head. "That's just plain archaic."

"It's a cultural tradition, Bones. Do you want people going around and insulting you for celebrating Christmas?" Jim smirked when McCoy shrugged and didn't reply.

Spirk took up his story again. "As it was, I returned to Vulcan when I entered Pon Farr. Leonard and Jim accompanied me to the surface of the planet to serve as witnesses to my marriage, only the marriage was halted when my bondmate called for a challenge. I ended up winning the challenge, but I refused her for a wife. How could I marry one so callous as she? Thankfully, Jim saved me from perishing."

Spock's heart stuttered to a stop in his side. Spirk had bonded with his Jim? No, that was not what he said. He said that Jim saved his life. But the only way to stop Pon Farr was to bond!

Spock glanced at Jim. He was entranced by Spirk's story, leaning forward to hear better. If Spock were to touch him, he was sure he would feel Jim's anticipation and interest. And suddenly, Spock did want to touch Jim.

He held himself back. It was not the time for emotions.

"T'Pring, my bondmate, chose Jim as her challenger, knowing he would not hold her to a marriage if he won. If he lost, she would also lose nothing. The other option for a challenger was Stonn, T'Pring's lover. T'Pring did not choose him because she was afraid that I might win and kill Stonn, and she would rather have been married to me than see Stonn dead. It was a logical decision on her part, and Jim thought he was making a logical decision when he agreed to be the challenger. He was afraid that Stonn would hurt me, as the blood fever had weakened me terribly. Jim, being Jim, did not think the challenge through and did not realize it would be a battle to the death. He saved me by letting me kill him."

McCoy gasped and Jim squawked in surprise. Spock's heart started up again with a painful thump. How could Spirk sit there so calmly when he had killed Jim? "How could you kill your t'hy'la?" Spock spat. He didn't stop himself from taking Jim's hand and holding it tight. He would never let that happen in this universe. Never.

Shockingly, the corners of Spirk's mouth rose in a smile. "That's exactly what I thought when I suddenly came back to my senses. I broke the bond with T'Pring and beamed back to the ship, my Pon Farr over as if it had never been. Onboard the ship, I discovered that Leonard's quick thinking had caused him to inject Jim during the battle with a compound that simulated death. Jim had been revived and was alive and well."

The story confused Spock. Obviously Spirk had not bonded with his Jim, but his Pon Farr had ended without sex. "I do not understand."

"Neither did I." Spirk folded his hands on the table. "I still do not understand. I have been bonded for all the rest of my Pon Farrs, so I have never had a chance to replicate what happened on Vulcan. As I grew older, I began to research Pon Farr. At the time, I thought myself an anomaly, but there have been records of men surviving the kal-if-fee only to find their Pon Farr broken. I thought at first that it was the shock of having killed my captain that saved me, but my research led me to believe it was the similar physical nature of battle and copulation that ended the Pon Farr. Specifically, both types of activity use testosterone."

McCoy's fingers drummed on the arm of his chair. "Changes in testosterone levels are one of the main effects of Pon Farr, according to the data."

Spirk finally pulled his gaze away from the table. "Unfortunately, all the data I had gathered in my time has been destroyed. None of the men currently living on New Vulcan have had a similar experience, leaving me as the only living person with knowledge of this phenomena. I cannot come forward with the knowledge without jeopardizing my new identity, and the seeds I have attempted to plant in the minds of various scientists have not come to fruition."

Jim wriggled his hand in Spock's grip, reminding Spock that he was holding onto Jim rather tightly. He released Jim's hand, clasping his own hands together in his lap. Jim settled back into his chair and tapped a finger against his jaw. "So why tell us?"

"The Leonard McCoy of my universe was a brilliant mind. I wished to share the knowledge with this Leonard for that reason." Spirk glanced at McCoy and then at Spock. "I also felt it prudent to warn you and Spock in case something similar were to happen in this universe. I would spare Spock the pain of killing his t'hy'la, even if the death was only temporary."

McCoy snorted. "I don't think they'll have to worry about it. Obviously, it's not happening anymore since there are so few Vulcans as it is without all the men killing all the other men to get wives, but even if it was, they're bonding to each other. Jim couldn't exactly choose himself as challenger."

Spirk's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Spock noted that the facial expression was somewhat comical and that he should probably avoid it in the future. "Choosing yourself as a champion is allowed," Spirk said distractedly. "You are bonding?"

McCoy frowned. "Yeah, they are. Didn't you ever bond with your Jim?"

Spirk shook his head vehemently. "No, I never even considered it. Jim was my t'hy'la, but he was far fonder of females than males."

Jim shrugged. "Eh, I like my women, but men can be just as fun." He winked at Spirk. "And Spock's a real tiger in bed."

Spirk looked absolutely flummoxed, his eyebrows still high on his forehead and his mouth slightly open. "You have not bonded yet though?"

Jim shook his head. "Nope."

Spirk's eyebrows drew together. "Fascinating." He stared at Spock as if he was a scientific specimen. "This universe has changed me in many ways. I would never have considered engaging in intimate relations without a bond, particularly not when I was so young."

The statement felt like a scolding. "I found no comfort in my Vulcan heritage as a child and when given the opportunity to experience things as a Human would, I took it," Spock asserted.

Spirk nodded. "Logical. The Human prejudice against Vulcans was much stronger after the _Kelvin_, and Vulcans responded in kind If I had faced similar discrimination, I would have taken the same path. It would have saved me much trouble, as I embraced my Human half at a far later age and with much difficulty."

Spock felt something in him loosen at Spirk's approval.

"I am surprised that you have agreed to bond, Jim. My Jim was not one for commitment."

This Jim wasn't one for commitment either. Spock considered that for a moment. Their intimate relationship had no defined end and seemed as if it would continue indefinitely, but it couldn't. Spock would need to bond and face Pon Farr and Jim would eventually move on.

Jim would move on. He would choose someone other than Spock. Why did that thought hurt? It made Spock's chest tighten and his heart race.

Jim leaned over and tossed an arm around Spock's shoulders. "Well, neither was I before I got together with this guy. Now I'm in it for the long run, right, Spock?"

Jim's fingers trailed along Spock's neck. Familiar fingers, familiar emotions. Spock would lose them both because this was all a lie. He had never had Jim's heart and he never would. All he would have when this was over was lies and memories. His t'hy'la's heart would not be his.

"Spock?" Concern trickled through Jim's fingertips.

Spock tried to focus on the conversation. "Yes, our bonding is imminent." Another lie, an overt one this time. It burned his tongue to speak it.

Spirk's face settled into a neutral position. "I wish you well then. My Jim never lasted more than a few years in a relationship, and my own bondings came from necessity and not compatibility. Perhaps this universe has the right idea, though I cannot imagine bonding with my Jim."

Neither could Spock because Jim would never bond with Spock, not in any universe. It was all a lie. Every last bit of it.

Spock didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to talk about it. "If that concludes the information you wished to share, Spirk, I believe you had an announcement, Dr. McCoy?" Changing the subject was a cowardly move, but Spock did not care. His chest hurt.

McCoy's face lit up. "My information's not nearly as important as Spirk's was, but I think it's rather entertaining. Jim, Spock, you'll be happy to know that you are going to be big brothers." He smirked. "Or maybe you won't be happy."

Jim pulled away from Spock. "What?"

"I believe McCoy is insinuating that Winona is pregnant," Spock said. It was easy enough to read the meaning in McCoy's words. They were unimportant. It was logical that Sarek would aid in the efforts to populate New Vulcan. Spock would logically have to take part in the population efforts one day too. He would have to take a female bondmate, one who wasn't Jim.

Jim's jaw fell open and he started to splutter. Perhaps the information was shocking, but Spock couldn't bring himself to care about a baby. Realizing that he wanted Jim for a bondmate was infinitely more world-destroying.

* * *

Spock escaped from the conference room before any of the men noticed his preoccupation and spent the rest of the day avoiding Jim. He threw himself into whatever work he could find, ate dinner in the barracks cafeteria instead of in the mess since Jim preferred eating on his ship, and didn't beam back up to the ship until the sun had dipped beneath the horizon on the planet.

Jim caught him sneaking back to his quarters, and Spock wasn't able to evade him with an excuse of exhaustion. Instead of letting him escape, Jim caught his hand in the middle of the corridor.

Spock could feel everything Jim felt. Concern, empathy, confusion, contentment, lust, and fondness filled Jim, but there wasn't an ounce of love to be found. They were friends, brothers, lovers, t'hy'la, but not bondmates. Why would there be love? Why would Spock even look for that?

Jim squeezed Spock's hand. "Hello? Spock? I asked if you were okay. You were acting weird after we talked to Spirk, and then I didn't see you for the rest of the day."

Spock withdrew from Jim's hand. "I am fine."

Jim's hand came up to touch Spock's face. "Are you sure?" His hand slid to the back of Spock's neck and tugged him down so he could kiss Spock. The touch of so much skin was torture for Spock, but kissing Jim was wonderful, as it always had been. When Jim ended the kiss, he kept his hand on Spock's neck, holding him close. "Do you want to come back to my room?" The lust in the touch burned bright.

Spock recoiled sharply, backing into the wall behind him. Anyone could have seen that. Spock looked both ways down the corridor. There was no one in sight, no reason for Spock to turn down Jim's offer for sex.

Sex. All Jim wanted from Spock was sex. It was all he would ever want. The thought made Spock's chest tighten.

Jim stepped closer to Spock and reached out, concern on his face but lust in the hands that cradled Spock's cheeks.

Spock grabbed Jim by the arms, carefully holding only where shirt covered skin, and pulled the offensive hands away from his face. "I am not interested."

"Come on, Spock," Jim coaxed. "It'll calm you down."

Spock released Jim's arms, shoving them away. Jim stumbled slightly, and Spock wanted to apologize, but he held himself back. "Sex does not fix everything." He crossed his arms in front of him. "It may actually make situations worse, though I am certain that idea has never crossed your mind before."

Jim's mouth fell open. "Spock..."

He had hurt Jim. Spock's chest ached; he wanted to apologize. Jim didn't know why Spock was upset. He had no idea that Spock wanted to bond. It wasn't his fault. But Spock couldn't find the words. Jim had hurt Spock too, and he would continue to hurt Spock with every touch, every innuendo, every gentle kindness that came from friendship and not love.

Spock forced his arms down to his side. This was his fault. He had... he had fallen in love. He had always thought the emotion was supposed to be beautiful, but all it did was tear him to pieces. But it was his fault. Spock wouldn't hurt his t'hy'la anymore. "I apologize. I am exhausted and it is affecting my mood. I must retire for the evening."

Jim frowned but didn't call him on his excuse. "Goodnight, Spock."

Spock looked at Jim, captured an image of Jim to hold in his memory. Their relationship would end soon, and memories would be all Spock had. They would still be t'hy'la, still be Captain and First Officer, but there would be no bond.

Image fixed in his mind, Spock turned away, heading for his room. "Goodnight... Captain."

The sooner they returned to their previous relationship, the less the memories would hurt.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"Explain how such a procedure would facilitate your research." Sarek clasped his hands behind his back. There must have been a valid motive for McCoy's request, but Sarek could not see what that might have been. Winona was shaking her head at him, but Sarek paid no attention to her. This request was quite unseemly.

McCoy turned to a nearby display. "I've been running scans for two days now, examining Vulcan brains. Here's a Vulcan brain prior to bonding." He pulled up a scanner image of a brain. "Here's a Vulcan brain after bonding." Another image was pulled up. "And here's a Vulcan brain in Pon Farr that isn't bonded and a Vulcan brain in Pon Farr that is bonded." Two more brain scans were displayed, filling the entire display screen. McCoy pressed an image and all of the brains were covered in colors that pulsed and changed according to brain waves. "All of these brains belong to men. If you look here, the lobe of the brain just above the spinal column and cerebellum is far more developed in the bonded men."

"That lobe contributes to the telepathic powers of Vulcans," Sarek said. "The fact that it develops when exposed to higher levels of telepathy such as those experienced in a bond is to be expected."

McCoy narrowed his eyes. "I figured that out on my own. But that's not the important thing. The important thing is that when a male Vulcan enters Pon Farr, that lobe begins to degenerate. The lobe is smaller in men in Pon Farr than it is in their counterparts, though the lobe of the bonded man in Pon Farr is still larger than lobe of the unbonded man who is not in Pon Farr."

"Intriguing." Sarek had never heard of this happening before. "What is causing the degeneration?"

McCoy shrugged. "I don't know that yet. I thought perhaps it was Pon Farr itself that caused the degeneration, but when I compared the Vulcan male brains to Vulcan female brains, they disproved my hypothesis. As an unbonded female in Pon Farr doesn't occur often, I wasn't able to gather data on that, but when I compared a bonded woman not in Pon Farr to a bonded woman in Pon Farr, I found the lobe to be of equal size, though an unbonded woman's lobe is smaller than either bonded woman's was." McCoy tapped one of the brain images, that of the unbonded man not in Pon Farr, and it grew to fill the screen. "Right now I'm hypothesizing that it has to do with the differences in male and female brain structure. Vulcan men have larger pituitary and smaller pineal glands than Vulcan women. I don't know how they affect the lobe though."

The preliminary hypothesis seemed sound, but Sarek did not understand how it related to McCoy's request. "I still do not understand how this procedure will aid in your research."

McCoy turned to the display and removed the images from the screen. "Scientists," he muttered under his breath while he back was turned. When the display showed nothing but the logo of the Vulcan hospital, McCoy faced them again. "While I was in the middle of this research, I got a tip that the consumption of testosterone during sex might be what 'cures' Pon Farr. I managed to convince two couples, one not in Pon Farr and one in Pon Farr, to allow me to scan their brains while they engaged in intercourse yesterday, but further volunteers have not been forthcoming. I need more data." McCoy focused on Winona. "Also, comparing what happens to a Human brain when they bond with a Vulcan and a Human brain actively engaging in telepathy to other Human records could offer clues that a Vulcan brain alone wouldn't, especially since Humans don't have that brain lobe at all."

"If it's alright with Sarek, it's fine with me." Winona smiled at Sarek. "Anything for the good of science, right dear?"

_You simply want to engage in intercourse yet again,_ Sarek accused her.

Her smile grew. "Do you have any _logical_ objections, Sarek?"

Sarek turned and inspected the scanner carefully. It was a normal medical scanner, long and tunnel-like. The cavity was barely twice the size of an average adult; he and Winona could not be inside at the same time.

Sarek turned to face Winona and McCoy. "It is improbable that two adults would be able to engage in coitus while inside the scanner. There is not enough space."

McCoy patted the biobed that slid in and out of the scanner. "No reason for both of you to be in the machine at once. I only need scans of the brain. The rest of your body can be outside of the machine... taking care of business."

What a horrible euphemism. Sarek looked at the machine again so he wouldn't have to see the smirk on McCoy's face. "Medical scanners often emit trace amounts of radiation. As the embryo in Winona's womb is at a precarious stage of development, allowing Winona to undergo such a scan would endanger our child's development.

McCoy pursed his lips, but Winona snorted. "That machine doesn't put out enough radiation to harm a flea. The truth is, you don't want someone watching while we have sex."

She knew him too well. "Indeed."

"Good thing I know how to run the machine then." Winona took hold of McCoy's shoulder and started steering him towards the door. "I'll take care of everything and let you know when we're done."

McCoy tried to halt their movement. "I wouldn't need to watch though. I can run my scans from the computer outside this room. All I'd need is an open comm line."

Winona smirked at Sarek. "Somehow I don't think my bondmate is particularly comfortable with that idea. You really don't need to worry though. I am a trained scientist, you know, and I worked in xenobiology for a few years."

"Alright." McCoy sighed and allowed her to push him until they reached the door. "I need scans during the arousal phase and at the moment of orgasm."

Winona nodded. "I can handle that."

McCoy took a step out the door, then back into the room. "Oh, and I need baseline scans before you start anything. Try not to touch each other before these scans are complete so you don't spark Sarek's touch telepathy. I need one baseline scan without active telepathy and one with active telepathy."

Winona planted her hands on his shoulders and shoved him out the door. "You'll get your scans. Goodbye, Doctor." She released him and stepped back into the room. The closing door cut off his response, and Winona pressed the privacy lock.

She rounded on Sarek with a grin. "You are insatiable," he murmured, but he took a seat on the biobed when she waved at it.

"And just think, the hormones haven't even gotten started yet." She began operating the machine. "Lay down, please."

Sarek laid back on the biobed, resting his head on the inadequate pillow at the top of it. "Must I do anything?"

"Nope." Winona pressed a button on the front of the machine, near Sarek's head, and the bed slid into the machine. "The scan is going to take a few minutes." Her voice sounded odd as it reverberated inside the tunnel. "Since we can't do anything fun until this is done, we ought to talk."

Sarek clasped his hands together and laid them on his stomach. He closed his eyes and relaxed. "What do you wish to discuss?"

"Well... I'm having a baby." Sarek wished he could see her face. Unable to tell what emotion colored her voice, he cannot determine if this was going to be a pleasant or uncomfortable conversation. "Before, when we were going to break the bond, I just assumed I'd go back to Iowa and live my old life. Obviously, I can't do that anymore."

Well, she could do that, but Sarek was glad that she wouldn't. He wanted to be around his bondmate and child. Between his duties on New Vulcan and Earth, he didn't have time for visits to Iowa. "I maintain accommodations on Earth and I have been informed that one of the new single family domiciles on the edge of town has been granted to me if I wish to take it. You and our child would be able to live in either residence."

"What about both of them?"

"Please clarify."

He heard her sigh. "You spend a lot of time on both planets. I wouldn't want to be left alone on one of them."

"Of course you may accompany me. Amanda usually chose to remain on Vulcan with Spock. I assumed you would do the same for our child." He shouldn't have made such an assumption. Winona and Amanda were very different people.

"There's no reason to stay on planet for the baby. He or she would come with."

"Do you think that wise?" There was much danger in interplanetary travel. The numerous trips Sarek made each year would endanger the child needlessly.

Winona laughed. "I had a baby in the middle of a battle, and Jimmy turned out fine. A bit of space travel won't hurt this little one. And I don't want to leave the baby behind, not like I did to Sam and Jimmy."

"What about your Starfleet duties?" The scanner beeped.

_Time to switch to telepathy!_ Winona turned the machine on again. _I'm retiring from Starfleet. They offered me an early retirement after George died, but I didn't want to take it. George died in space, and I wanted to be where he was._

_Do you not feel that way anymore?_

Affection suffused the bond. _Nope. George isn't in space. He's with me and he's with our boys. I can take him with me wherever I go. But you're here, and I can't exactly drag you around in my brain._

_Through use of the bond, I believe you can._

He received an impression of her shaking her head. _Hush. I'm trying to be poetic and philosophical and whatnot._

_Science is your forte. Poetry is most definitely not._

_I'm going to ignore you now. Besides, the scan's nearly done._ She pulled back from the bond and five seconds later the machine beeped. The biobed slid out of the scanner and Winona stepped away from it so she wouldn't touch him. "You hop up. It's my turn."

Sarek moved away from the biobed and she took his spot, laying back on the pillow and letting her arms rest by her side. "What must I do for the scan?"

"I've got it all set up for intracranial scans. All you have to do it hit the button to slide the bed in and then press the activation button next to the opening of the scanner." She turned her head to him. "I know all of this has been hard on you, and that giving up your privacy is difficult. I took control of the situation, but if you want to stop this right now, you can."

Sarek regretted that he was unable to reach out and press his fingers to hers. "For me... Amanda is still on Vulcan, but I cannot return to Vulcan as you returned to space. I am starting to realize that Amanda is in me because of you. You see her in me and that allows me to see her in me... just as I am beginning to see you in me."

Winona smiled and tears began to slip from her eyes. "Oh, that's beautiful." She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. "All I wanted to know was if you were okay with the scans and you go and tell me you love me."

Sarek looked away from her happy face. "I do not know if this is love." He had loved Amanda deeply. The mere sight of her had been enough to induce nervousness and joy in him. Touching her had made his heart beat faster and his breathing rate increase. To be certain, Sarek felt affection for Winona, but it was not the same love that had wracked his body and destroyed his control when he was with Amanda.

"It is love." Winona sat up.

"How do you know?"

She touched her chest, where her heart would be. "Because I feel it too. It's not the same as my love for George; that love was like fireworks and marching bands. I don't think all love is like that though. Sometimes love comes softly. My feelings for you are like sunsets and my grandmother's quilt—things that make me feel comfortable and protected."

Sarek contemplated Winona. She was still smiling broadly, as if completely confident in her words. Perhaps she was right to be confident. She was a part of Sarek now, as much as Amanda was. If she returned to Earth and cut off all communications with him, he would miss her. No one before Amanda and no one since her had understood Sarek as well as Winona did. "You are equivalent to solar phenomena and family heirlooms in my mind as well."

Her smile over took her face. "I love you too, Sarek." She laid back down. "Now please finish scanning me so I can kiss you."

Sarek pressed the power button and watched his illogical bondmate disappear into the scanner. Once she was in place, he started the scan.

After a few seconds, Winona giggled. "Hey, Sarek, are brain scans like porn for Vulcans?"

Sarek refrained from sighing. His _illogical_ bondmate, indeed. "There is nothing simulating about an image of a brain."

"Are you _sure_? My brain should be showing up on the display now." She paused for a moment. "Does it look fat to you?" The laughter she burst into implied that her question was a punchline to some joke that Sarek didn't understand.

He glanced at the screen. "Your brain appears normal for a Human." Then he looked harder as her laughter died down. "Actually, your brain does appear 'fat' in comparison to most Human brains. It is slightly larger than normal as you have a small telepathic lobe."

"Huh." Winona's feet wiggled a little. "I definitely didn't have that before. Do you think I'll develop any telepathic powers?"

Sarek studied the brain. "The lobe is approximately one-quarter the size it would be in a Vulcan. I believe that it is only large enough to maintain our bond. Any other increases in your telepathic abilities would be negligible."

The machine beeped to signal the end of the scan and Sarek absently started a new scan. He felt Winona wriggle her way into his head through the bond, but he was focused on the display. Amanda had never needed such a scan, so he had never seen what her brain looked like. Sarek wondered if all bonded Humans would develop such a lobe.

_You know, it's really, really sexy when you go all scientist on me._

_You are supposed to refrain from becoming aroused until the baseline scan is complete._

She sent him an impression of her sticking out her lower lip in a pout. _You're no fun._

Sarek looked over the display until he located a small time-remaining indicator. _There are one point four minutes left in the scan. When it is over, I will bring you to orgasm in approximately eight point six minutes, based on your current state of arousal and the average amount of time it takes you to reach orgasm. You have approximately ten minutes until you can climax. It is not an unduly long wait._

Winona groaned through the bond. _It's not fair to dirty talk me when I'm trying to stay calm!_

Sarek sent her an impression of a raised eyebrow. _Ten minutes._

_Ugh!_

* * *

Spock was still avoiding Jim and had chosen to eat lunch later than normal in the barracks cafeteria, so it was a surprise when Jim and McCoy flopped into seats on either side of him.

Jim leaned over and bumped Spock's shoulder with his own. "So, Bones has a proposition for us. Tell him, Bones."

McCoy leaned in and lowered his voice. "You know how Spirk mentioned that testosterone might be the key to all this? Well, I think I'm getting close to the answer, but I need your help."

Out of the corner of his eye, Spock saw Jim's hand move as if to take his own. Quickly, he turned to face McCoy and clasped his hands before him, where Jim could not easily reach them. It was a logical action to take; now he could better hear McCoy's whispers. "It is only logical that I take any action that may potentially help us understand this epidemic. How may I assist you?"

"Well, I've been scanning the brains of Vulcans to see how bonding affects them." McCoy looked over Spock's shoulder at Jim. "I'd like to scan your and Jim's brains."

"We are not bonded, Doctor." And they never would be. Spock turned back to his food. He had eaten everything but the oatmeal raisin cookie he had grabbed on an impulse. It didn't look so appetizing anymore. "I have completed my meal. I must return to my duties."

He attempted to stand, but Jim grabbed him by the sleeve and forced him to sit down. "Bones knows that, Spock. He needs us for a comparison. Bones is scanning brains while people have sex to see how sex affects the brain, but there aren't any other Vulcans who are willing to have sex before they bond."

All of those other Vulcans were apparently far more logical than Spock. "You did not share the exact specifications of your scans, Doctor." He tugged his sleeve from Jim's grasp. "I fear I will be unable to help you."

McCoy crossed his arms. "Come on, Spock. If Winona and Sarek let me scan them, surely you can too."

"What my father and Winona have done is irrelevant to my actions." He stood. "I will return to my duties now."

He made it out of his seat and halfway across the cafeteria before Jim caught up to him. Jim grabbed Spock by the arm and swung him around, knocking the cookie to the floor from his tray. Spock bent to retrieve the cookie, and Jim followed him down so they were both squatting.

"What did I do to upset you?" Jim reached down and picked up the cookie, then set it on Spock's tray. "What can I do to fix this? I don't like fighting with you."

Spock straightened up. Jim frowned up at him from a minute before standing up as well. "You have done nothing, Captain. This is my problem; I am attempting to find a solution."

"By ignoring me? I thought we were best friends or t'hy'la or something." Jim sighed. "Nevermind." He leaned in and kissed Spock on the cheek. Loneliness and concern burst through Spock's shields. "Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be here."

Jim turned and walked back to the table through the suddenly silent cafeteria. Spock looked around. Everyone's eyes were on him. He took a deep breath and forced himself to walk to the tray return, gently set his tray inside, and then turn and walk towards Jim and McCoy. As he grew nearer, Jim broke into a smile.

Spock took his seat again. Whispers were beginning to spread through the cafeteria. Jim had practically declared them bondmates before all of the Vulcans in the room, and while Jim's actions wouldn't seem particularly odd to the _Enterprise_ crew members who had probably seen Jim touching all of the senior crewmembers in somewhat inappropriate ways—Spock remembered an instance where Jim had kissed Uhura on the cheek and she had punched him—the fact that Spock had not reacted negatively to the kiss would reverberate like wedding bells in their minds.

Jim was not an idiot, regardless of how stupid he pretended to be. Something like this could not be blown off as mere rumor—in fact, for most of the crewmembers, it would confirm the bonding rumors. And yet, Jim had chosen to kiss Spock in public.

Why?

The logical reasons would be to try to soothe Spock, though touch was not traditionally a way in which Vulcans were soothed; to provide extra material with which to convince their parents that they were together, though their parents were not in the room; or... to confirm the rumors as reality.

Spirk lived in another universe. Their universes might be similar, but Spock didn't believe that this universe would one day align with the other one. The fact that Spirk had never bonded with his Jim and that his Jim had not liked commitments had little relation to this Spock and Jim.

Spock placed his hand on Jim's under the table. Through the contact, he felt sheer joy—joy that Spock had come back. It wasn't love, but it was close. Perhaps... perhaps Jim would come to feel love in time. And they had time. Spock wasn't due to experience his first Pon Farr for another seven years. He could wait until Jim was ready.

"I will allow the scanning," he said quietly.

McCoy let out a whoop. "Thank heavens. Lemme finish up my food and we can go."

Jim just squeezed Spock's hand under the table. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." Spock allowed Jim's joy and affection to suffuse him. "I believe I have found my solution."

* * *

After McCoy and Jim gobbled down their food, the three of them proceeded to the hospital. McCoy let them know what kind of scans he would need as they walked. As they rounded the corner near the scanner room, his voice level dropped. "I'm perfectly willing to let you run the machine—believe me, I don't wanna watch—but I'll need you to make sure you do a few things for me."

Jim clapped a hand on McCoy's shoulder. "Sure, Bones, just tell us what to do."

McCoy paused outside of the door to the scanner room. He glanced at Jim, then rubbed his face with his hand. "I don't even want to think about this. As a doctor, I know that men in homosexual relationships may dislike anal intercourse." Jim opened his mouth and McCoy held up a hand. "No, don't tell me. I don't want to know. I just wanted to tell you that you can do whatever the hell you want in there, as long as you are both touching when you orgasm because I need to see how Spock's touch telepathy affects things."

Jim smirked. "Are you sure that's enough? Spock and I are perfectly happy to fuck on your biobed if that's what you need."

Spock and McCoy glanced at each other and then away. "I don't want to know about your sex life, Jim." McCoy shuddered. "From now on, I'm making Nurse Chapel do the sexual health questions on your physicals."

Jim's smirk grew as he went to make a smart comeback of some sort, and Spock was grateful when the door to the scanner room slid open and two men stepped out.

"We're all done, Doctor McCoy," Robert Nelson said. The Vulcan next to him tilted his head in agreement.

McCoy snapped back into his professional mode, grabbing his PADD and noting things down on it. "Did you get all of the scans done?"

Nelson nodded. "Yes, sir."

Jim frowned. "Hey, Bones, I thought you couldn't find another couple who was unbonded to scan."

"I couldn't," McCoy mumbled as he added something to his PADD.

Jim crossed his arms. "Ensign Nelson's not bonded!"

Nelson ducked his head a little. "Actually, I am, sir." He turned to the Vulcan next to him and held out two fingers. The Vulcan pressed two fingers of his own to Nelson's. "Torek went into Pon Farr yesterday, and I took advantage of it to make him bond with me."

Torek shook his head. "No advantage was taken, as I had chosen Robert as my bondmate." Their hands dropped.

McCoy nodded. "Thankfully I convinced them to let me scan their brains yesterday as they were going through Pon Farr. I haven't been able to get another couple in Pon Farr to go through with it. Prudes." He tucked his PADD away. "They let me do some more scans today to see how their brains were being affected by the new bond."

Jim's frown deepened. "Vulcan men can bond with men?"

There was collective silence for a minute, and then McCoy cleared his throat. "Spock is a man, Jim. And so are you. I think you know the answer to that."

"But Spock's different." Jim gestured at Spock. "He's half-Human. Wouldn't a full-Vulcan find a homosexual relationship illogical? It's not like men can have babies."

The words filtered into Spock's brain slowly. He wasn't sure how to make sense of them. It sounded as though Jim thought bonding with Spock was illogical. But he had just kissed Spock in the cafeteria. Had the kiss been nothing but a Human gesture?

"On Vulcan, same-sex pairings did not occur very often," Torek volunteered, "but as long as the population was stable, there was no need for every couple to focus on reproduction. There was no reason for same-sex couples not to bond."

Jim's frown fell away. "That's very... enlightened. I wasn't expecting that."

"Few Vulcans have homosexual interests," Torek continued, "but the males of us who do are bonding with other males to keep the population alive due to the lack of females. Once this epidemic ends, same-sex couples will be matched with a woman who is willing to be a surrogate for them, thus reproduction is an unnecessary consideration for men when choosing a mate. Female same-sex couples do not have the same logicality. The remaining unbonded women will logically have to bond with men to keep them from dying, but women with homosexual interests are being given the opportunity to wait until nearer the end of the epidemic to choose to bond. If the epidemic is stopped in time, they will be able to bond with whoever they choose."

McCoy shook his head. "And that's not very enlightened at all."

"It's not as bad as it sounds!" Nelson piped up. "The rate of homosexual attraction in Vulcan society really is very small. There are only fifty women on the planet who identify as bisexual and none who identify as homosexual. All fifty of them were bonded to men before Vulcan was destroyed, so the ones I've talked to aren't upset that they might have to bond with a man."

"That still doesn't seem very fair," Jim said.

Spock took a deep breath. "Vulcans rarely bond because of affection, Captain. Such logic as bonding due to circumstance and not affection is also fairly... attractive to many Vulcans."

Jim nodded, his dark expression clearing up. "You do get off on your logic." He turned to Nelson. "Congratulations on your bonding then."

Nelson linked fingers with Torek again. "Thank you, Captain. I'm sorry I didn't tell you beforehand."

"Not a problem. I was expected at least a few of my crewmembers to get involved with a Vulcan. Come talk to me about your future plans later so I can get the proper forms filed with Command, alright?"

"Yes, sir!" Nelson released Torek's fingers. "Goodbye, Captain, Commander, Doctor." He nodded to Jim, Spock, and McCoy in turn, and then he and Torek left.

McCoy ushered Jim and Spock into the scanner room. "Alright, let's get this done quickly. I'll run the preliminary scans to show you how the machine works, and then I'll leave and let you handle the more private ones."

McCoy put them each through a quick baseline scan, then scanned Spock again while he held Jim's hand to test the effects of his touch telepathy. Holding Jim's hand for three long minutes hurt. All Spock could feel was lust. The joy was gone, and the affection had been drowned by passion. It came as no surprise to Spock when McCoy slipped out of the room and Jim climbed into the scanner and onto the biobed between Spock's legs.

He began to kiss Spock, but after a few moments, he looked up at Spock. "You're not into this at all."

Spock focused his gaze on the top of the white tube surrounding him. "You actually believed that Vulcan men could not bond."

"Well, yeah. New Vulcan is all about building the population right now, and if men can't have babies, why would they bond? Plus, you all were making such a big deal out of not having enough women that I thought maybe Vulcans didn't have same-sex bonds. If you did have them, then logically you would have been bonding all the men to each other to save their lives when you ran out of women."

"Male same-sex bonds are currently exceedingly logical, but they can only occur between men who have homosexual interests, otherwise the bond will not take."

Jim propped his chin on Spock's thigh. "That makes sense. Before I just figured it was because you were half-Human and sterile, so it didn't matter who you bonded to. And I didn't think too deeply about it because you and I weren't actually going to bond."

Above Spock's head was an emergency eject button. He hit it, and the biobed slid out of the scanner cavity. He sat up, knocking Jim's bony chin off his leg. "I am not sterile." It was easier for Spock to address that facet of Jim's argument than to think about the fact that Jim had never even considered that he might want to bond with Spock.

Jim peeled himself off the end of the biobed. "Really? Huh, that's odd. Most hybrids are sterile."

Xenobiology was not Jim's forte. "Vulcans and Humans have equivalent numbers of chromosomes. There is no reason that I would be sterile as a mule with uneven chromosomes would be." The doctors had performed in-depth examinations on him as he grew, checking his fertility and sexual development when he reached adolescence. His reproductive organs were fully functional. Spock let his legs fall over the edge of the biobed and prepared to stand. "I do not feel comfortable in this situation."

Jim insinuated himself between Spock's legs and wrapped his arms around Spock's neck. "Come on now, don't be like that. We're not going to get caught."

"Jim." McCoy's voice over the comm system made Jim jump. "I'm not seeing any scans. Is everything going alright in there?"

Shrugging sheepishly, Jim called out, "Go away, Bones, or I'll tell you exactly what Spock is doing with his tongue."

"Don't forget my scans!" McCoy blurted out and the comm link broke off.

Jim laughed. "We won't hear from him again."

Spock pulled Jim's arms away. "I do not want to do this."

Jim refused to move away so Spock could stand. "What are you mad about now?"

"I am not mad. Let me leave."

Jim shoved at Spock's shoulders. "You are mad. Is this because I said you were infertile? Because I totally get that you're fertile." He let a hand fall and linger near Spock's belt. "I'd love to see some of that fertility right now."

Lust and worry. There was no love in Jim's touch, just lust and worry. "Let me go."

"Tell me what's wrong!"

What was wrong was that Spock let himself believe he was half-Human. He let himself feel. He had casual sex with Jim. None of his partners before had ever hurt him like this, but none of them had been Jim. None of them had been his t'hy'la.

Another wave of lust burned Spock where Jim was touching him.

Spock stood up, knocking Jim over. Using Jim's momentum, Spock swung Jim around and threw him on the biobed. With one hand, he hit the comm link. "McCoy?"

"Yes?"

"If we are both in the machine at the same time, will it read both our brain waves?"

"It should."

"Spock out." He turned off the commlink, turned on the scanner, and pressed himself against Jim. Then he slid the biobed back into the machine.

Jim's eyes went wide. "Spock?"

"You may not talk." There was no room to move in the machine, but Spock wriggled around until he was in position. He began to stimulate both himself and Jim.

"Spock!"

"You may not talk!" Spock growled and he pressed his free hand to Jim's mouth to quiet him. Jim moaned under him, trying to thrust up. The lust continued to build, moving back and forth between them through every touch of skin.

Just as Spock felt Jim's arousal begin to peak, the machine beeped that the scan was over. Spock twisted backwards until his legs were free of the machine and hit the activation button with the toe of his boot. The scanner turned back on, and Spock returned to his previous actions.

Jim cried out loudly with every twist of Spock's hand, and finally, thirty-seconds before the scan was to end, Jim orgasmed with a loud cry. Spock fell into the rush of pleasure to trigger his own climax, but the moment the scanner beeped, Spock pressed the emergency eject button. The biobed slid out, and Spock climbed off of it. He washed his hands off in a nearby sink, pulled his pants back up, and straightened his clothing.

Jim rolled off the biobed with very little grace and stumbled over to the sink. "What on Earth was that?"

"I did as you wished, Captain. I must return to my duties."

Spock left, and didn't look back. He was tired of being illogical. He was tired of feeling. He was tired of being Human. _He's half-Human,_ Jim had said, but Spock was also half-Vulcan and he was ready to embrace that part of himself again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Sarek stared down at the missives he had just received. He had sent the requests out the day after his Pon Farr had ended, and he had only just received replies. They were exactly the replies he had hoped for.

Starfleet was sending a cargo ship of laborers as well as supplies and the newest replicators available to aid in building on New Vulcan. Three different Vulcan colonies were sending some of their women, particularly those with strong science and construction backgrounds, to support the expansion of the population on New Vulcan. Due to the higher incidence of female births than male births amongst Vulcans, Sarek knew he was not depriving the men of the colonies of bondmates. Being sent to New Vulcan might give some of these women a chance to bond, a chance they may not have had on their home colonies.

Finally, Romulus was sending a ship of Romulan laborers to build up the main city on Vulcan as a gesture of goodwill. Sarek had heard that they had been provided information by a Vulcan on how to avoid the supernova of their sun in one hundred and fifty years, and in gratitude they were being more compliant than normal. As Sarek had not requested solely women from Starfleet and the Romulans, he was not surprised to see that both men and women were being sent in aid.

He glanced across the room to Torek and Robert, who were sitting next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, and reviewing the data from some new experiment McCoy had ordered. Perhaps women would not be as necessary as Sarek had first expected.

All three groups had ships en route to New Vulcan. They would be arriving in the next two to three days. Considering the number of unbonded females left, the ships would be arriving in the nick of time. They would run out of unbonded females in a little more than a week. Sarek hoped that, given a week of exposure to Vulcan men, these newcomers would find themselves interested enough in Vulcans to bond with them. Then when the Vulcan females ran out, there would be others to replace them and keep the remaining unbonded male Vulcan population alive.

Sarek set down the PADD with the letters on display and looked around the room. No one had given up. Even if men started dying in a week, the research would continue. They would find the answer. McCoy had grown more enthusiastic in the three days since he received scans of Winona's brain that he would find the answer.

Sarek only hoped they would find it soon.

* * *

Jim surveyed the crew sitting around the table and then nodded. "I'm proud of all of your progress. We've completed nearly all of the projects we set out to work on. We've also made huge progress on those we didn't finish. The communications network is up and running and just needs to be expanded throughout the city."

Uhura smirked as her project was praised.

"The city now exists because Scotty and his people have built enough houses for nearly every Vulcan couple or family to have one."

Scotty banged his fist on the table. "Aye, you're right! If it weren't for us, they'd still be in barracks!"

"Giotto's people have been helping everyone," Jim continued.

Giotto gave half a smile at the sound of his name.

"Spock's people have done immensely detailed studies of New Vulcan, Fellor I, and Fellor II."

Spock did not visually respond. Praise was unnecessary. The studies had merely been completed as ordered. They would have been equally well accomplished by a Vulcan scientist at some point in the future.

"We've done everything we set out to do..." Jim sighed, "except stop this epidemic."

Faces fell as people stared down at their breakfasts.

"But you know what? We haven't failed. Starfleet has given us permission to remain until the epidemic is stopped or until every male Vulcan has bonded." Jim nodded towards a display that had been set up to show an approaching Vulcan vessel. "That may come sooner than we expect. Ambassador Sarek has informed me that nearly one thousand Vulcan women were recruited from three Vulcan colonies. They have agreed to come bond with the men and will be arriving shortly. On top of that, there are Starfleet and Romulan vessels arriving tomorrow with aid workers. Sarek expects that some of these workers will bond with Vulcan men, just as some of our people have."

McCoy ran a hand through his hair. "So we'll do all this research, only for them to bond and get rid of the problem anyway."

"The problem shall remain, Doctor." Spock turned to McCoy. "Pon Farr is occurring when it should not, and three men have experienced it twice already. Vulcan society will devolve if this continues. Pon Farr will destroy our logic."

McCoy just rolled his eyes. "Sex isn't gonna kill anyone."

"But the absence of it shall," Spock returned. "What if one of these men are trapped away from their bondmate?"

McCoy glared at him. "Well, you pointy-eared bastards seemed to manage fine before all this happened. I think you'll be okay."

"You belittle—"

Jim cut Spock off. "Come now, men. I thought you two were over your little temper tantrums."

Spock tilted his head slightly to the side. "Vulcans do not have temper tantrums, Captain." He kept his voice steady and uninflected.

Jim stared at him with a frown. "Right." Shaking off his confusion, Jim turned to the rest of the table. "As I was saying, this is not a failure. We have done great things and we have researched things that Vulcans once refused to discuss. Even if we don't find the answers, we have paved the way for someone else. I am proud of what you have done."

McCoy frowned at his plate and Spock did not allow his facial expressions to change, but the rest of the department heads and Nelson smiled at each other.

Jim nodded again in satisfaction. "Good. Meeting adjourned, you're free to go whenever you're done eating."

Discussions started up around the table. Spock turned to his food, carefully cutting each piece of fruit into bite-sized pieces. Jim leaned over the table towards McCoy.

"Hey, Bones, can you take a look at my back later? It got sunburned pretty badly yesterday helping with some construction."

McCoy tsked at Jim. "I've heard you warning more than one crewmembers about wearing plenty of sunscreen since the Fellor sun has such strong radiation. What made you forget your own advice?"

Jim turned his gaze to Spock, but Spock refused to look at Jim.

Jim looked back to McCoy with a sigh. "I've been a bit stressed, Bones. Can you just give me some lotion or something? I promise I'll remember the sun is a giant ball of radiation from now on."

"Smart ass," McCoy muttered. "Sure, I'll—"

Nelson gasped next to McCoy. "Doctor! That's it!"

"What's it?" McCoy asked.

Nelson waved his hands in the air. "The radiation! The lobe is connected to the pineal gland, and the pineal gland is affected by sunlight. Maybe it's not sunlight that affects the gland, but the radiation found in sunlight."

McCoy shook his head. "Sorry kid, I had that idea a while ago and Sarek disproved it."

Nelson bit his lower lip. "Sarek said that the Fellor sun had both higher and lower levels than the Vulcan sun, and the higher levels would be what caused Pon Farr if they were the cause, so it couldn't be them. But that's assuming the affect is instantaneous. What if it builds up over time, like a sunburn? And what if the Vulcan brain is sunscreen? It only protects up to a certain level of radiation, and then it starts letting rays in and the rays start to build up."

"And the Fellor sun is constantly at a radiation level high enough to build up in the brain and cause Pon Farr!" McCoy jumped out of his seat. "But then where is the testosterone connection?"

"The melatonin," Nelson said. "It's gotta be the melatonin."

McCoy nodded and started paced. The entire room grew silent as they listened to him. "Melatonin suppresses the production of testosterone and other sex hormones. If the sun were to knock out the pineal gland, which produces melatonin, it would allow the testosterone levels to rise. Testosterone in great amounts has negative effects on brain connections. Since the pituitary gland is right next to the pineal gland and the telepathic lobe, the first part of the brain that the excess testosterone would affect would be the telepathic lobe, which would degenerate as brain connections were destroyed. As the testosterone spread into the rest of the brain, it would cause more degeneration and the partial insanity seen in Pon Farr."

Nelson started moving food around on his plate, arranging hashbrowns and scrambled eggs into a model of a brain. He squished some ketchup where the telepathic lobe was found. "Women don't go through Pon Farr though because their pineal glands are larger and the effects of the radiation would take longer to affect them. They've got better sunscreen."

McCoy froze and rubbed his chin absentmindedly.

Spock began to eat his food now that it had been methodically cut up. He started with the sash-savas and ate one type of fruit at a time.

"What stops Pon Farr then?" Nelson poked at the ketchup with his fork until it was spread all over the brain. "What brings the pineal gland back online?"

"Sex. Or fighting." McCoy broke out in a grin. "That's it! The Vulcan body heals itself very efficiently, but it cannot heal the effects of the radiation while it's trying to heal the effects of the testosterone. Remove the testosterone from the picture and the pineal gland heals itself."

Spock moved on to his bananas. The texture of the Earth fruit was quite unique.

"The men who went through Pon Farr twice had all been on Fellor I doing research." Nelson hopped out of his seat. "The radiation levels on Fellor I are much higher than on New Vulcan, but not high enough to pose a threat to a Vulcan, or so we thought. None of the men wore radiation suits."

McCoy headed for the door, and Nelson scurried after him.

"Where are you going, Bones?" Jim called.

"If I can find a way to block the effects of testosterone on the brain, I can stop Pon Farr—forever." McCoy turned around with a smile. "I'm off to save a planet, Jim."

He and Nelson raced out of the room.

Jim settled back into his seat and crossed his arms smugly. "I said this mission wasn't a failure, didn't I?"

Scotty burst into laughter. "Aye, Captain, that you did."

Uhura rolled her eyes. "You could at least pretend you aren't going to claim part of the credit for this."

"Hey, now!" Jim exclaimed. "It was my sunburn that solved the problem!"

Spock finished his last bite of bananas, then contemplated his plate. Should he eat the grapes or apple slices next? The grapes would accentuate the aftertaste of the banana better. He used his fork to pick up half a grape and put it into his mouth. As he went to pick up the other half with his fork, a hand darted in and stole it.

Jim popped the grape half into his mouth. "Don't you think I should get some of the credit, Spock?"

"Your sunburn did cause the idea that led to the solution."

Jim began to smile.

Uhura sighed. "Now we'll never shut him up."

"However," Spock continued, "when accounting for the amount of work that Doctor McCoy and Ensign Nelson put into the research prior to your sunburn, I believe that only point four-two percent of the credit belongs to you."

Jim's face fell. "Gee, thanks."

Spock returned to eating his grapes.

Jim leaned over closer to Spock. "Hey," he whispered, "can we talk later? The last time I actually talked to you was four days ago when we did the scans... and that didn't turn out so well."

Spock paused with his fork part of the way to his mouth. "My father requested that I assist the Vulcan women in settling into the barracks. I expect my duties to extend until nineteen hundred hours this evening, at which point I have a meeting with my science crew." He lowered the fork to his plate. There was a ninety-six point four-eight percent chance Jim would continue their conversation for more than three minutes. Holding the fork up for that long would be illogical.

Jim tapped his fingers on the table. "After the meeting then?"

"The meeting is planned to last until three hundred hours. We are aggregating the data on Fellor I."

"Damn it." Jim sat back in his seat. "I've got to be up at six hundred hours to meet the Starfleet ship. I can't stay up that late. What about after I've settled the aid workers down?"

Spock shook his head. "The Romulans are due to arrive then and my father has again requested my help with them. They are bringing heavy equipment that must be unloaded tomorrow night so that those who are returning to Romulus may begin their trip the next day. I do not estimate completion of the project until four hundred hours."

Jim crossed his arms again. "Why are you avoiding me, Spock?"

"I am not avoiding you, Captain." It was not a lie. Lies were illogical. "It would be illogical for me to avoid my commanding officer. My duties simply require more time than previously."

Jim let his arms fall to rest on the arms of his chair. "I wish you would talk to me."

"I am currently speaking with you."

Jim reached out and wrapped his hand around Spock's. Spock stiffened at the touch and forced himself to breath and act normally, even though Jim's worry was washing through him. "Please, Spock."

Spock withdrew his hand from Jim's. "There is no need for concern." He quickly ate another grape. If his mouth was full, then logically he would be unable to speak.

Jim sighed and withdrew. "Alright. I'll see you later then. Good luck with the Vulcan women."

"Farewell, Captain," Spock said once his mouth was empty.

Jim stood and left the room, looking back once at Spock as he passed through the doorway. Spock continued to eat his food. Giotto left the room next and then Scotty. Once they were gone, Uhura moved around the table to take Jim's seat next to Spock.

"You don't look so good," she said.

Spock set down his fork. "I do not believe there is anything negative about my appearance."

She shook her head. "That's just it. Usually you've got some kind of emotion showing, even if it's just irritation. All I see right now is a Vulcan."

Why was it such a problem for him to be Vulcan? "As I am half-Vulcan, that is perfectly normal."

Uhura crossed her legs and propped her elbow on her knee. She settled her chin into her hand and looked at him for a long time. "I've seen the Human side of you. When we were dating, nothing thrilled me more than getting a Human reaction out of you."

"Indeed."

"But you are half-Vulcan, and expecting you to be fully Human because of a few reactions was the downfall of our relationship." She tapped a finger to her bottom lip. "I'm glad that you're going to bond with Kirk. He's a bastard, but he's a bastard who loves you. He doesn't expect you to be anyone but who you are."

Spock tried to maintain his normal heart rate and breathing patterns. "He does not love me."

Uhura straightened up in her seat. "Did he tell you that?" she demanded. "I'm gonna go kick his sorry ass."

"There was no need for us to discuss such emotions." Spock stared down at his hands. "I am a touch telepath. He does not love me." It was hard to force the statement to come out as a fact and not a cry.

"Oh, honey." Uhura shook her head at him. "The man loves you. The whole cafeteria saw him kiss you, and he knows what Vulcan culture says about such intimate touches. He knew what _he_ was saying."

It was the same argument Spock had used to convince himself Jim could love him. It was a faulty argument that did not take into account Jim's need to touch. For Jim, the kiss had meant nothing more than a handshake might.

Spock's plate was nearly empty, with only a single bite of apple remaining. He forked it into his mouth and chewed it quickly. When he was done, he stood with his empty plate. "I must attend to my duties."

Uhura looked up at him. "Spock, we may not be dating anymore, but I am here for you if you need anything."

Spock placed his plate in the depository. "Your offer is honorable." Vulcans did not thank people. Logic did not need thanks.

Uhura waved at him as he proceeded to the door. "See you later. And if Jim hurts you, let me know so I can cut off his balls."

Jim wasn't hurting Spock; Spock was hurting himself through his illogical emotions. He doubted removing his own testicles would do much to alleviate the pain.

"Farewell, Uhura," Spock said and then he stepped into the corridor and turned towards his room. His duties did not start for another two point one hours. He had spent the past few days meditating as often as possible, but his control was still unsteady. He was out of practice, and it would take a while to reach true emotional control. He would use the time prior to the Vulcan women's arrival to meditate.

* * *

"Present your findings," T'Pau announced from the council platform.

Robert and McCoy stepped forward. "We have discovered a way to not only prevent Pon Farr, but to stop it in its tracks," McCoy stated.

Sarek heard whispers begin throughout the council room. Surprisingly, the whispers were in Vulcan. The news must have truly shocked the Vulcan population if they had allowed themselves to have an emotional outburst.

T'Pau stared down at them from her seat. "How is it that in less than a Standard month you have developed a cure for something that has plagued us since before the Awakening?"

McCoy smirked. "It's because I'm Human."

T'Pau pursed her lips. "Clarify."

"Vulcans don't talk about sex. Heck, I think most of you don't even think about it." McCoy shook a finger at T'Pau. "And that's your problem. If you all had sat down and looked at some actual data, you could have solved the mystery of Pon Farr way back before Surak was even born. You had the technology then."

More whispers spread through the room.

McCoy crossed his arms. "I scanned Vulcan brains to find the answer. When men enter Pon Farr, their pineal glands shut down and don't produce melatonin. Without melatonin, testosterone levels rise rapidly. This both damages the brain and causes sexual and emotional arousal. Women do not naturally enter Pon Farr because their larger pineal glands are not as easily damaged and because they do not produce the damaging levels of testosterone. Essentially, the bond sparks their arousal, but their blood doesn't burn."

Robert spoke up. "By examining the effects of Pon Farr and testosterone on Vulcan brains, we realized that something was shutting down the male pineal glands. It took us a while to realize that there was an environmental factor involved. The Vulcan sun had periods of intense solar activity every seven years, which caused temperature levels and volcanic activity to increase. This level of activity lasted for approximately one year, and then the sun returned to a more dormant state for approximately a year before beginning to build up to the higher levels again. It had been theorized that it was the dormant state that caused Pon Farr. This theory stated that evolution invented Pon Farr so that men would be biologically forced into this seven year cycle and women would become pregnant during the high solar activity, but they would have their babies during the dormant period when temperatures were lower and volcanic activity nearly nonexistent."

Sarek remembered McCoy postulating that a similar effect was occurring on New Vulcan, but the Fellor sun did not have such aberrant cycles. It could not be the solar activity causing Pon Farr, as Sarek had stated before. Even though their logic seemed faulty, Sarek forced himself to listen to their evidence.

"But the Fellor sun is different," Robert continued, "so it couldn't be a simple evolutionary behavior, or the seven year cycle would have continued. Obviously, it was something about the sun itself."

McCoy shifted from one foot to another as he took his turn speaking. "As it turns out, the Fellor sun has a nearly constant level of solar radiation. This same level of radiation was reached six months before the men on Vulcan would begin to enter Pon Farr." McCoy leaned forward slightly, subconsciously emphasizing his next words. "And just over six months ago, enough development had occurred on New Vulcan that all of the survivors could move into the barracks."

Robert glanced around the council room. His eyes landed on Spirk. "The first man on New Vulcan to experience Pon Farr was also one of the first men to arrive on the planet. The length of time from his arrival on the planet to his Pon Farr was approximately six months."

Spirk was seated in the audience, and many turned to look at him, but his face was impassive as he nodded.

"As it turns out, the gamma radiation from the sun is what causes Pon Farr." McCoy spoke nonchalantly, as if unconcerned that he had just discovered something that had evaded Vulcan scientists for years. "And at this level of radiation, it takes about six months for the radiation to build up in men's brains and shut down their pineal glands. We aren't sure exactly why Vulcan pineal glands are so sensitive to the radiation. Our research hasn't offered any clues."

T'Pau frowned. "You have no evidence then."

"On the contrary," McCoy said. "We know that is what is happening because three men who experienced Pon Farr were then sent to Fellor I to study the dilithium deposits. Fellor I has next to no atmosphere, is half the size of New Vulcan, and is three times closer to the sun than New Vulcan. This means that Vulcan men were exposed to nearly seven times the amount of radiation they would have been exposed to on New Vulcan. Thus, their pineal glands shut down seven times faster, and these men were rushed back to New Vulcan in the throes of Pon Farr for the second time in a month. In fact, nearly all of the Vulcan men who spent time on Fellor I had to return to New Vulcan because of Pon Farr. Because Vulcans can supposedly withstand higher levels of radiation, you only wore environmental suits and not radiation suits."

Sarek had seen Toval when he entered the room. He turned to look at the man now. His posture was relaxed and his face neutral, but his fingers were pressed tight to his bondmate's as if looking for reassurance. Knowing why his second Pon Farr had occurred had surely soothed his mind.

McCoy was focused on T'Pau, but Robert turned to face the crowd of Vulcans who all wanted answers about the epidemic. "It's possible to block this radiation. Starships are all built with insulating layers in their hulls that block cosmic radiation. That's part of the reason why Vulcans in space go through Pon Farr at strange times; they aren't being exposed to the same levels of radiation as those on Vulcan were. If buildings on New Vulcan are insulated with the same materials, radiation exposure will drop drastically. This would force Vulcan men to stay indoors and away from the sun though, and that's not plausible."

"Prevention isn't enough," McCoy said. "So we found a way to stop Pon Farr once it has started."

T'Pau leaned forward. "How?"

McCoy smirked. "A hypo cocktail of melatonin and other sex hormone suppressants negates the effects of the high testosterone levels, and then the Vulcan body repairs the pineal gland itself. Once the brain damage and testosterone disappear, Pon Farr ends."

Astonishing. Sarek could hardly imagine the idea that he might never have to worry about Pon Farr again. It sounded too good to be true.

"Why must Vulcans bond to end Pon Farr?" a council man asked.

McCoy threw his hands in the air. "Because you idiots don't do anything about Pon Far until it's too late!" His hands came down to rest on his hips. "Bonding causes the telepathic lobe to develop and that extra brain mass protects the rest of the brain, including the spinal column, while men burn off the excess testosterone through sex. I expect that even a preliminary bond, such as the one you place on children, would be enough to stave off the brain degeneration long enough for the man to burn off his testosterone through fighting or exercise if Pon Farr was caught early. Instead, you wait until your brains are damaged and your blood fever has begun and then force yourselves to have sex."

Sarek sat back in his chair. Their logic was perfect. Sarek's own Pon Farrs had been erratic throughout his life. Since he had spent much of his time in space or on Earth, which had a much calmer sun than Vulcan had, he had not been exposed to the necessary radiation needed to cause Pon Farr. He had also had sex with Amanda often, even when on Vulcan, and may have stopped his last few Pon Farrs without even realizing it.

Since Amanda's death, he had not engaged in sexual relations prior to his Pon Farr and had spent nearly seven cumulative months on New Vulcan, though that time had been broken up with trips to Earth that would have allowed his body to begin healing the radiation poisoning. However, even though Fellor III was farther from the Fellor sun than New Vulcan, it was only a third the size of New Vulcan. He would have been exposed to high radiation levels after they landed there. That radiation was probably the cause of his sudden Pon Farr. The shock of the _Trellis's_ implosion and the physical labor he had completed on the planet would have also caused a natural rise in his testosterone levels, exacerbating the speed at which his Pon Farr developed.

Robert turned back around to face the council. "The bond also increases the amount of telepathy used while in Pon Farr. That nearly constant mental connection creates brain connections even as the testosterone breaks them down. And it is the constant mental connection that causes a Vulcan's partner to enter Pon Farr through sympathetic stimulation of the pituitary gland."

McCoy rocked back on his heels. "The research isn't complete. We are still missing some of the 'how's and 'why's of Pon Farr, but with what we know right now, we can save people's lives. Just yesterday I halted Pon Farr in nearly fifty men."

T'Pau nodded slowly. "Your research and logic are sound. All of New Vulcan is in your debt." T'Pau stood. "You will train our scientists and doctors to administer the treatment. Our builders will begin to retrofit all building with protective insulation. Pon Farr will no longer threaten our society."

McCoy held up a hand. "Now wait a minute—"

"This council session is adjourned." T'Pau turned and walked away.

Everyone in the council room burst into speech. McCoy turned to Robert and muttered, "Sanctimonious bitch."

Sarek stood and walked the few feet to where McCoy was standing. "My mother in no way resembles a female dog, Dr. McCoy."

McCoy winced. "Sorry, Sarek. Forgot about those ears of yours."

"I suspected." Sarek clasped his hands behind his back. "Your research is quite remarkable."

Robert smiled. "Thank you!"

"Our research is incomplete," McCoy interjected. "All we know is how to stop Pon Farr. What we don't know is how stopping Pon Farr is going to affect Vulcans. For all I know, there's something else that Pon Farr does for Vulcans besides stopping the testosterone. If you keep yourselves from experiencing Pon Farr, you could end up killing yourselves!"

"I am certain that the scientists of New Vulcan will continue your research to find these answers," Sarek said. "I know that I shall continue to push for more research. We will not risk our population if we can avoid it."

McCoy scrubbed at his face with both hands. "Yeah. Alright. How's Winona doing, by the way? I haven't seen her in a few days."

"Winona is beginning to experience some nausea even though she is taking her medication regularly." Sarek had heard her throwing up in the bathroom twice in the last few days. "Nonetheless, she contends that she is in perfect health and has begun setting up our household here on New Vulcan."

McCoy nodded. "Sounds about right. I can't give her any stronger meds for the nausea without harming the fetus, but if she starts feeling too queasy, plain crackers and ginger tea might help."

"I will relay your advice, Doctor." Sarek noted a group of scientists approaching from behind McCoy. "I believe you are wanted."

McCoy spun around. "Oh, hell. Time to face the music, Ensign Nelson." McCoy glanced over his shoulder. "See you later, Sarek."

The _Enterprise_ planned to ship-out in approximately thirty-nine hours. The chances that Sarek would see McCoy prior to then were minimal, making the farewell illogical. Sarek would never understand Human language. He chose to respond with his own logical gesture. "Live long and prosper, Dr. McCoy."

McCoy turned to face his audience and Sarek slipped out of the council room. Winona was waiting for him in their new home.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Jim stepped onto the transporter pad to hug Winona. Spock simply raised his hand in salute to his father. "Peace and long life."

Sarek returned the salute. "Live long and prosper."

Winona's arms tightened around Jim. "Take care of yourself."

Jim stepped back. "I will, Mom."

Winona turned to Spock. She raised her hand in a salute, then dropped it. "Screw that. I want a hug." She stepped off of the pad and embraced Spock warmly. Spock didn't return the gesture, but that didn't stop Winona from squeezing him even harder. "You take care of yourself too, Spock. And watch out for Jimmy. He gets himself into too much trouble."

"Mom!" Jim whined.

"I will watch over him. Live long and prosper, Winona," Spock said softly and she released him and took her place on the pad again.

"I'll keep in touch," Winona promised. "After the Vulcan memorial service in a couple months, we're going to Earth. Sarek'll have to return to New Vulcan periodically, but I'll hang around Earth for the rest of my pregnancy. Let me know when you have shore leave so you can visit."

Jim grinned. "Of course. And let us know when you have the baby. I want to come corrupt my little brother."

Sarek cleared his throat. "Dr. McCoy has determined from genetic scans that the fetus is female."

Jim's mouth fell open. "A girl? But I don't know anything about sisters! Who am I supposed to teach how to steal and crash cars now?"

"Well, next time we have a kid, I'll be sure to leave the gender up to you," Winona said sardonically.

"Don't make fun of me!" Jim puffed out his chest. "I'm Captain James T. Kirk."

Winona's snickers deflated Jim's pride. "You're my Jimmy, and don't you forget it. Now beam me down to Vulcan. My old bones are tired and I'm ready for bed." Her eyes shot to Sarek and she smirked.

"Again?" Sarek exclaimed, to Spock's shock. He had never heard his father sound so amused.

Winona nodded. "Most definitely. I'm very, very ready for bed."

Sarek didn't meet anyone's gaze. "I believe we are both ready to depart then. Farewell, Captain Kirk."

Jim moved to the transported controls. He offered Sarek a Vulcan salute. "See you later, Pop!"

He energized them. Spock and Jim watched in silence as their parents faded away. When the last trace of them disappeared, Jim burst into laughter. "Poor Sarek. Mom was really laying it on thick there."

"Indeed." Spock was uncertain what Winona had been 'laying on', but he didn't care to find out. He needed to begin his meditation cycle. "I shall retire for the night now. Good evening, Captain."

Spock turned to exit the room, but Jim raced around the transporter controls and grabbed his sleeve to stop him. "Wait a minute, Spock! We haven't talked in almost a week! Can't we at least eat dinner?"

Spock prepared himself to reject Jim's request, but Jim cut off his reply.

"Please, Spock. Please." Jim released Spock's shirt. "We need to talk about ship business."

It was an acceptable request. Spock could not refuse. "Very well."

Jim gave him a little smile. "Great. Let's eat in the officers' mess, okay? That way we don't have to worry about confidential information getting out."

The officer's mess was rarely used for dinner and rather private. Spock would prefer to eat in the public main mess, but if they would be discussing confidential information, the officer's mess would be more practical. "Very well." Logic overruled preferences.

Jim's smile grew a bit bigger. "Good."

In the mess, Jim waived away the crewmember that attempted to serve them, opting instead to get his own food from the synthesizer. Spock requested a serving of plomeek soup from the synthesizer and took a seat next to Jim in their normal places at the main table. Sulu was eating in the corner with Chekov, who was not an officer and should not have been in the officer's mess, but Spock would not complain. With them there, Jim would have to remain professional.

Jim nodded to Spock's bowl. "Feeling homesick already?"

"No. I have been meditating faithfully for the past week. My emotions are completely suppressed." Spock tasted his soup. It was a little too warm for his preferences, but it would not burn him. He began to eat.

Jim's fork hovered motionlessly over his plate. "What? Why are you squashing all of your emotions? You were just starting to really show them!"

Spock had only shown blatant emotion to Jim. The consequences of that experiment had proven that emotions were detrimental. "I am Vulcan. Such actions are logical."

Jim slammed his hand down on the table, his fork pinging against the metal. "You're Human too! It's not logical to throw part of yourself away."

Spock's neck and shoulders stiffened. "I shall not discuss my actions." He forced his muscles to relax.

Jim stared at him for a minute, then shoved his fork into his cornbread stuffing. "Fine." He lifted up his fork and shoved a huge bite into his mouth. He chewed in silence and didn't attempt to speak until his mouth was clear. "So. We lost Nilly Velasquez to New Vulcan. She's sticking around with her new bondmate. Robert Nelson is still shipping out with us though, as are the other two women from our crew who decided to bond with Vulcans. The women are going to try to keep up long-distance relationships, but Nelson's bondmate is attempting to join Starfleet and transfer onto the _Enterprise_."

Torek wanted to be at his bondmate's side. Spock understood the feeling. He would remain by Jim's side for as long as he could. It was not an emotional decision, but a logical one. They made a strong command team and it would benefit the _Enterprise_ if Spock remained Jim's First Officer for as long as Jim was Captain.

Jim pursed his lips for a minute as though he was thinking. "Hey, Spock, when we saw Nelson and his bondmate coming out of the scanner, they kept touching fingers. I thought that was a Vulcan no-no."

"Touching fingers with another person in that way is a gesture reserved for bondmates, Captain." Spock could remember his parents doing it often. When Spock was young, he had often wished he could share the gesture with his bondmate, but the one time he had attempted it with T'Pring, she had rebuffed him. "It signifies that their emotions and thoughts are already touching, as their fingers do, and so the touch telepathy is not invasive or taboo." Jim leaned forward, as if asking for more information. "It is similar to a kiss, in Human terms."

"Huh. Cute. No wonder Uhura says Nelson and his bondmate are romantic." Jim sighed and poked at his turkey. "Personally, I think the women's relationships are more romantic. Even though they knew they couldn't stay on New Vulcan and that their bondmates had to stay, they still bonded with the men they loved. Now, no matter where they go, they'll never be alone." Jim jabbed at the turkey until it split into two pieces. "I don't like being alone."

Jim wouldn't ever have to be alone if—

No emotions. Just logic. Spock focused his attention on his soup.

Jim straightened up. "That's enough of that. We need to go over the plan for shipping out tomorrow."

The conversation remained on professional matters for seventeen minutes, only to be abruptly disrupted by Chekov's appearance next to Jim.

When Jim looked up at him, Chekov smiled. "Sorry to interrupt, Keptin, but I heard today about you and Mr. Spock. Is very romantic, I think, to have the Keptin and First Officer in love. Is like the great romances of some of Russia's Tsars and Tsarinas!"

Jim winked at Spock. "I think you're the queen in that simile, Spock."

Chekov's eyes widened. "No, no! Mr. Spock is no queen! I should say Tsar and Tsar then, but there was no Tsar and Tsar, but Mr. Spock is no woman, so I do not know—"

Jim patted Chekov on the arm. "It's okay, Chekov. I was just teasing Spock." Jim leaned over and wrapped an arm around Spock's shoulders. "It's just something we do, right, sweetheart?"

Spock's response died in his throat when Jim followed up the pet name with a kiss on the cheek. He forced himself to remain calm. It was a handshake. Nothing but a handshake.

Chekov's eyes were so wide that the eyeballs seemed to protrude slightly from their sockets. "Um, Keptin, Mr. Spock, sirs. I am... I will return to my dinner. Now." He scampered back to Sulu's side.

Jim squeezed Spock's shoulder. "I think we freaked him out."

Just a handshake. "We are leaving New Vulcan tomorrow, and Pon Farr can now be cured. There is no reason for us to pretend to be bondmates any longer." Spock's bowl wasn't quite empty, but his appetite was gone. He would have to throw away the rest.

Jim's arm slipped from his shoulders. "Already? But having sex is so much easier now that we don't have to hide!"

Spock's breathing was beginning to accelerate. He forced it to slow back down. "Our sexual relationship should end now as well."

"No! I don't want to stop."

Jim's shout caught Sulu and Chekov's attention. They peered at them over their shoulders. When Chekov caught Spock's eyes, he blushed and looked away.

"This is not an appropriate place for this discussion, Captain."

Jim stood up and grabbed Spock's arm. "Then we'll find an appropriate place to have it. I'm not going to let you avoid it though."

Spock stood and attempted to pick up his bowl, but Jim was already pulling him away. "Our dishes—"

"Leave the damn dishes!" Jim's forehead was furrowed and his mouth tight. "We're going to my room, now."

Spock could not allow the argument to continue in front of their subordinates, so he was forced to allow Jim to drag him out of the mess and down the corridor to his room. Jim put in his lock code so quickly that he missed a number and had to start over. When the door opened, he shoved Spock inside the dark room.

"Lights to one hundred percent," Spock said.

Jim followed him in, and then locked the door. "First you avoid me. Then you don't want to talk to me. Now you won't even have sex with me." Jim gripped Spock by the shoulders. "What did I do?"

Spock shook his head. "You did nothing. I made a decision to suppress my emotions."

Jim burst into laughter. "Oh, that's good. Usually I'm the one giving the 'it's not you, it's me' speech." He released Spock and collapsed into a chair. He buried his face in his hands. "I don't want to lose you." The words were muffled, but Spock heard them clearly.

"I am not going anywhere, Captain."

Jim sighed and uncovered his face. His shoulders slumped. "Jim." His face was blank when he looked up at Spock. "After Boldun, you promised you'd call me Jim."

Spock took a step forward. He was hurting Jim. It was illogical. He needed to stop. His own pain didn't matter, not when he was hurting Jim. "Jim."

Jim held out his hand. "If you want to be more Vulcan, if that's what you really want, then I'll support you. I don't need sex. I do need you."

Spock wanted to take Jim's hand, but that wasn't the Vulcan way. Jim held out his hand for a few more seconds and then began to lower it.

Spock grabbed it with his own. "I need you as well."

Jim stood. Through their hands, Spock could feel so much pain and sadness. Pain he had caused. He wished he could take away the pain.

Jim wrapped his other hand around Spock's neck and pulled his head down as he lifted his own face. Before their lips could touch, Spock tried to draw away. "Jim..."

The pain increased. "Please," Jim whispered. "One last time. Let me say goodbye."

Spock refused to let Jim pull his head back down. "I am not going anywhere."

Jim locked eyes with Spock. "Please."

The pain was so deep and so heavy. Spock was drowning in it as the waves of sadness washed him away. The pain had overtaken all of Jim's other emotions, even his lust. Spock wanted to take away the pain.

He pressed his lips to Jim's.

Jim responded hungrily, clinging to Spock as if he was a lifeboat in the midst of that sea of pain. His hand slipped from Spock's neck to his back and he tugged Spock closer. Then his hand slipped under Spock's shirt and began to lift it.

"Jim..."

"Please."

There was no lust in the touch. Spock floundered to understand as Jim tugged off his shirt. Jim then stripped himself and began to remove the rest of Spock's clothes. His hands were gentle, almost loving, and Spock still couldn't feel any lust.

When they were both naked, Jim guided them to the bed. From the nightstand, he withdrew the bottle of lubricant. He handed it to Spock, wrapping his fingers around Spock's so they both held the bottle. "I want you in me," he said quietly. He released Spock's hand and climbed onto the bed, shoving pillows underneath his hips.

Spock absorbed the sight before him. His control was gone. He could feel emotion's welling up within him. "I cannot. My control..."

Jim reached out, gripping Spock's hand. "One last time."

The pain was still there. Spock could do this one last time. He would keep the memory of this night forever, but he would forget all of his emotions. He could do this.

He tried to enter Jim slowly, but Jim thwarted his efforts by thrusting upwards. "I need you in me," he cried as Spock was fully sheathed in his body.

Once he was inside, Jim let Spock set the pace. He reached for Spock's hand, and Spock let him take it. Jim pulled the hand up and placed it on his face.

Spock yanked it back. "No, Jim."

The pain overflowed.

Jim looked up at Spock. His eyes were bluer than Spock had ever seen them, as blue as an ocean. "Please."

Spock couldn't meld them. What if he couldn't hide his emotions? Jim couldn't find out about his love. It would break their friendship more than anything Spock had done in the past week.

Jim's eyes darkened. "Please."

How could Spock refuse? He gathered up his emotions and locked them in the brig of his mind. Then he pressed his fingers to Jim's face.

He only meant to initiate a shallow meld, but the moment his mind touched Jim's, it was sucked in. He delved further and further inside Jim, while Jim began to melt into him. It was a shock when Spock found himself in Jim's core. It appeared to him like wide open space with all of its disorderly anomalies and simple planets. The stars burned brighter as he approached them, his own core touching Jim's. He had always seen himself as a starship, a machine full of people, people full of emotions. The logic covered the emotions, but it didn't keep them in. At any moment, the emotions could choose to escape and wander away. The compatibility of the images produced by his and Jim's core did not escape him. Jim truly was his t'hy'la: his perfect match.

The longing to let his starship soar free in the universe that was Jim was strong, but Spock forced it to fly away, back inside him where it belonged. Slowly, he forced the meld back to a more shallow level where he could feel physical sensations again. Jim was breathing heavily now, and the sadness was finally gone. In its place was sheer joy and affection that burned Spock as surely as the pain had drowned him.

_I missed you,_ Jim whispered through the mind link.

Spock didn't understand. He hadn't gone anywhere. _I will not leave,_ he promised Jim in return.

At his words, Jim cried out and climaxed. Pleasure, joy, affection, and contentment, mixed together and burst through the meld, pulling Spock into his own orgasm.

Spock collapsed onto Jim, his breath gone. He forced himself to roll over so that he was not squashing Jim. His hand remained pressed to Jim's face.

Jim smiled at him. _Stay._ He blinked sleepily.

Spock wriggled around until they were under the covers and the pillows were back where they belonged. _I will not leave,_ he promised again. He would stay by Jim's side for the rest of his life. "Lights to five percent." The room darkened till Spock could barely make out Jim's face next to him.

_Goodnight, Spock._

Spock watched Jim's eyes flutter closed. _Goodnight, Jim._

He couldn't bring himself to break the meld until Jim was fast asleep. He slipped out of Jim's mind then, regretting it the moment he pulled his fingers from Jim's face. He couldn't stay linked to Jim though. He had been lucky that Jim hadn't seen his love while they were melded. He couldn't take that chance ever again.

Spock climbed out of the bed. His eyes had adjusted to the light level, and he found his clothes on the floor. He tugged them on, then straightened his hair. Before he left the room, he paused by the door to look back at Jim. He was frowning in his sleep, and Spock wanted to go back to him and soothe the expression away, but he couldn't.

Jim had been right. Even if Spock remained by Jim's side for the next fifty years, this was a goodbye.

"Farewell," Spock whispered, and then he slipped out of the door.

* * *

Sarek woke to find himself alone in his new bed. Winona's side was cool and long-abandoned. He couldn't hear her in the bathroom, so he climbed out of bed and made his way downstairs.

He found her in the living room, holding a holo-image. "You are up early."

She turned to smile at him. "Morning, Sarek. I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd get up and make myself useful." She held up the holo-image. "I was trying to decide what wall to hang this on."

"What is it?" Sarek peered over her shoulder and discovered the holo-image was a picture of Amanda on the Starfleet Academy campus.

Winona traced the edge of the image with her finger. "I asked Spock if he had any pictures of her, and he gave me a copy of the only one he had. He said she had him take it when she was visiting him on Earth one year, and then she left the camera behind on accident." She smiled up at Sarek. "She was a beautiful woman."

Sarek reached out and took the image from her. "You are not jealous?"

Winona shrugged. "If she were still alive, I might be. Since she's not, I'm not. She made you happy, and that makes me happy. I know you love me just as much, even if it's in a different way." She tapped the side of her head. "This bond really is amazing."

"Yes, it is." Sarek returned the image to her. "Where you do think it should go?"

Winona padded over to the far side of the room in her sock feet. Next to one window, she paused and held the image against the wall. "Here, I think." She looked back over her shoulder. "In this spot, everyone who walks into the room will be able to see it."

It was perfect. "I... I am..." He was filled with emotion, but he wasn't sure what words to use to describe them.

Winona set the holo-image on a chair and crossed back to Sarek. "You're welcome." She kissed him on the cheek. "Come see what I want to do with our other rooms."

She tugged him down the hallway by the hand. She stopped in front of the larger of the two extra bedrooms and pushed open the door. It was empty inside, with plain white walls. They had not gotten any furniture beyond what they absolutely needed yet, since supplies were in high demand. "This one will be the guest bedroom, since it's farther from our room. I figure that Spock and Jim can stay here when they visit, and if Sybok or Sam ever come, they can use it too."

Sarek squeezed her hand.

She moved on to the smallest of the three bedrooms in the house. It was also empty and white. "And this room will be the nursery. We probably won't be able to come back to New Vulcan until she's at least a year old, but I think I'll send back some decorations from Earth for you to put up when you have to come back for your ambassadorial duties." She pointed into the corner beneath the room's window. "I want a rocking chair there, so I can sing the baby to sleep. I never had a rocking chair for Sam and Jimmy."

Sarek stepped into the room. "I had expected you would choose this room for the nursery, so I placed this in here." He opened the closet door and took the small stuffed animal down from the shelf. He had rather abused his ambassadorial privileges in order to replicate the non-essential toy. "Jim assured me that this is an appropriate toy for a Human child." He handed it to her.

She squeezed the sheep to her chest. "Oh, Sarek, I love sheep!"

"I know." She dreamed of them rather often.

She hugged him, squishing the sheep between them. "Thank you."

Sarek ran a hand through her loose hair. "You are welcome."

Winona laid her head against his shoulder. "Do you think the boys are going to be okay? It's nearly time for them to leave orbit."

"As long as they have each other, they shall be fine." Sarek lightly propped his chin on her head. "You should go back to bed. You need some more sleep."

"Come with me?" Sarek couldn't see her face but he felt her lips brush his collarbone. There was no lust in the touch—or at least no more than usual—merely comfort.

The Romulans, Humans, and Vulcan women were all settled. Sarek had no more research to attend to, as that had been passed on to more specialized scientists, and his ambassadorial duties could wait for a little while. "Yes, let's go back to bed," he said. She pulled away and looked down at the stuffed toy a little sadly. Sarek sighed. "The sheep may come as well."

At the sight of her grin, Sarek knew he would have to get another one for the baby. He'd never get the toy out of their bed now.

* * *

Spock spent the night meditating and locking down all of his emotions. When 0500 hours arrived, Spock roused himself from his meditations. He hadn't regained all of his control, but he was in better shape than he had been when he left Jim. He needed to proceed to the mess hall now if he wanted to avoid seeing Jim off of the bridge. Spock couldn't face him in a less-than-professional situation.

Spock had showered and dressed in clean clothing upon his return to his room, so he simply extinguished the candles he had lit and made his way to the officer's mess. Chekov was in there again, along with McCoy. The doctor was glaring at Chekov, but Spock doubted it was real anger, judging by the smile on Chekov's face and the fact that Chekov's sock foot was creeping up McCoy's leg.

At another table, Scotty and Uhura were bent over their PADDs and mumbling to each other as they ate. From the bits of the conversation he could hear, he was helping her with a small problem in the engineering of the New Vulcan communications network that had just been discovered. In between sentences, they were eating and every once in a while they would steal food from each other's plates without asking.

For them it was a romantic gesture. Jim had just taken for granted that Spock would let him steal food even though they were just friends.

Spock solidified his controls. He couldn't let himself fall apart. After ordering his food from the synthesizer, Spock took a seat in the far corner of the room, away from the happy couples.

Spock had nearly finished his food when the door to the room slid open and Jim burst in. He was breathing heavily and his face was flushed and sweaty. He scanned the room quickly, and when he spotted Spock in the corner, he rushed to his table.

"Spock, are you okay?" He slid into the chair next to Spock. "I woke up and you were gone and you weren't in my head! Shouldn't you be in my head?"

"Of course not. I ended the meld." They had melded before; why was Jim so confused?

Jim's shoulders slumped. "Oh. It was just a meld." He looked away. "I thought..."

Spock could handle this. He had logic. "You thought what, Jim?"

Jim looked back at him with the same sad blue eyes as the night before. "I thought you were bonding us."

No matter how hard he tried, Spock couldn't keep his chest from tightening. "I would not bond with someone who did not love me." There. He had said it. He put his illogical truth out there.

Jim flinched away as if hurt. "I thought you knew." He looked Spock straight in the eyes. "I love you."

Spock slammed his fork down on the table. "Do not lie to me!"

Jim set his shoulders. "I would never lie to you! Not after Boldun."

"I can feel your emotions." Spock caught Jim's hand with his and delved in deep to be certain. It was a lie. "There is no love there."

"What do you feel?" Jim leaned forward. "Tell me."

Spock named off all the emotions he could feel in Jim. "Anger, sadness, longing, affection, compassion, empathy, fear, lust, companionship, understanding, confusion, joy."

Jim squeezed his hand. "And what does love feel like?"

Spock floundered. "I do not... I know..."

"How did you learn to suppress your emotions?"

Spock had shown Jim those memories on Boldun. "I was taught to understand my emotions, name them, and then set them aside."

Jim leaned in closer. "And did they ever teach you what love felt like?"

"They tried to make me set aside my love for my mother." Spock had not learned that lesson.

"But they didn't teach you what romantic love felt like?" Jim pressed.

"I...no." All Spock had to judge by was the love he had in his own heart, the complicated mix of emotions that...

The complicated mix of emotions that he felt for Jim.

"Love is not one emotion." The revelation blindsided him.

Jim nodded. "And I love you."

"But the lie!" Spock had hated the lie, still hated the lie. "You do not want a commitment."

"I always thought I didn't want commitments, until I got them. I didn't want friends to tie me down, but Bones changed that. I didn't want responsibilities, but then I joined Starfleet. I didn't want to be in charge of other people's lives, but then I became a captain." Jim looked down at their joined hands. "I didn't want to get married, but then I pretended with you. Having someone who's there for you all the time and who cares about you is more than worth being tied to one person."

Spock's hands were shaking. This couldn't be right. This had to be a dream, except Spock had never dreamed in his life. "But you said last night we would end it."

"I didn't want to," Jim said softly. "I never wanted to let you go. I think I've wanted you since Boldun, but I didn't realize it until you started to block me out. I realized I was losing you, and I didn't want to let you go."

"But you did."

"I tried." Jim looked up into Spock's eyes. "I tried so hard after you said you wanted to give up your emotions. But then you let us meld, and I thought you were bonding us. I asked you to stay in my head, and you said you wouldn't leave." His eyes pleaded with Spock to understand. "But this morning you were gone. I was so afraid you were hurt. Mom said she can always feel Sarek, and you were gone. I looked in your quarters and in the main mess and on the bridge and you were gone."

"I was here. I would never leave you, Jim. I will stay by your side forever."

"That's not good enough." Jim tugged his hand free from Spock's and then held it out. His pointer and middle fingers were extended, the others tucked into his palm.

Spock stared at Jim's hand. He couldn't be asking what he was asking.

Jim held his fingers a little closer to Spock. "I want to bond with you. I don't ever want to be alone again."

Spock reached out with his own two fingers and pressed them to Jim's.

Jim's emotions sang inside of him, bright bursts of joy and affection. Spock soaked up the emotions as best as he could, while pressing his own emotions through to Jim.

Spock had never passed on his own emotions before, and Jim gasped at the sudden onslaught. "You love me too. I was so afraid you didn't."

"I tried to hide my emotions," Spock admitted. "I was afraid they would chase you away, and I would rather have you as a friend than not at all."

"It's amazing." Jim closed his eyes. "I want to feel it all of the time. Can you... will you bond us? Right now?"

"This is not the most appropriate place." Regardless, Spock pulled his fingers from Jim's and pressed them to the meld points.

Jim leaned into the touch. "Do it, now."

Spock threw himself into Jim's mind. Again, it sucked him in much faster than a Human mind should.

Jim laughed through the meld. _My mind's not fully human anymore. Bones told me after he did the scans that I was already starting to grow a telepathic lobe. Mine's still tiny, but it's there. And your lobe's a bit bigger than it should be too._

Amazing. _Does he have any theories as to why?_

_None. Just melding didn't do it because our brains were normal after Boldun. I think it must have been that time we had meld-sex._

_Fascinating._

Spock continued to sink into Jim's mind. When he reached the core, he again marveled at the beauty of Jim's galaxy.

_It's not beautiful,_ Jim said. _It's empty. All of the planets are uninhabited. No matter how bright the stars are, they're cold. A galaxy without life is pointless. You give the galaxy a reason to exist._

At Jim's words, some of that space spread until it was a part of Spock too. Then Spock allowed his starship to fly free. As it passed from his mind to Jim's, it left behind a trail of subspace amplifiers to pass communications between them, a mental representation of their new link. The galaxy now belonged to both of them, the starship captained by each of them in turn.

_We are bonded._ Spock pulled out of the meld, and the connection between them remained.

Jim pressed two fingers to Spock's fingers, and then leaned in and kissed him deeply. When he pulled back, Spock realized that the room was full of people, very few of whom were officers. All of them were staring at them.

McCoy cleared his throat from the back of the crowd. "I thought it'd be interesting for everyone who went by in the hall to pop in here and see what the officer's mess looked like. It was just random idea."

"Sure, Bones." Jim grinned at all of them. "Congratulations, people. You just witnessed a wedding."

Hoots and hollers fill the room. Crew members proceeded to slap Jim on the back or give him a hug. Thankfully, they refrained with Spock, instead offering him a Vulcan salute or a few words of congratulations. When everyone in the room had had their moment with them, Spock spoke up. "This is the officer's mess. If you are not on duty in this mess or an officer, leave."

Everyone sighed, but filed out. Chekov remained at his table with McCoy. He really didn't belong there.

_Don't worry about it, Spock. The kid's about due for a promotion anyway._

Spock peeked through their new bond to pick up Jim's surface thoughts. _You just like seeing McCoy turn red when Chekov plays footsie,_ he accused.

Jim chuckled. "Hell, yes!"

Affection for Jim suffused him, along with the realization that this had really happened. They were bonded now, at least for as long as Jim would stay bonded.

_Don't doubt me! I'm in this forever. You're not getting rid of me unless you kill me._

It was hard to believe that everything he had wished for could come true like this.

_Well, believe it._

He would. It would just take time.

Jim leaned over and grabbed a piece of toast off Spock's plate.

Spock grabbed it back.

"Hey!" Jim frowned. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I really dislike it when you steal my food." Plus, it was Spock's last piece of toast.

Jim snatched it back and licked it all along one side. "But now it's my food!"

That was truly disgusting and juvenile. Also, Spock was never going to be able to eat an entire meal on his own again. He could see a distant future where he and Jim were aged and wrinkled and Jim was leaning over to steal Spock's toast. And even when he was eighty, Jim would probably still lick it.

Jim bit into the toast. "So, are you still sticking to your 'emotional suppression' thing?"

"Please chew with your mouth closed, Jim."

"Because it's fine with me if you are," Jim said. At least he had swallowed. "I love you no matter who you are."

Spock considered emotion. Emotion had given him Jim, and taking away his emotions had almost taken away Jim. "I do not think I shall be as stringent in my control as I have been. A little emotion can be useful."

Jim grinned. "Great. If you're not meditating, I bet I can seduce you with mind sex anytime I want." He happily took another bite of his toast.

Spock sighed. "I am not quite that 'easy', Jim."

Jim smirked. "I'll break you by lunch time."

* * *

Jim broke Spock in less than two hours.

Spock couldn't bring himself to mind.

**The End**


End file.
